Family and Friends Forum

I'm really sorry you're feeling such overwhelming anxiety and feelings of dread. I can really resonate with what you describe and know how hard those feelings are to deal with day in and day out. I too worried about everything and the anxiety was overwhelming. I was on 2 different medications for anxiety, one in the morning and the other in the evening. I also went through therapy, did relaxation and meditation, went on well-being walks and tried to practice mindfulness. Nothing really made me feel any better because the underlying cause was still there.

Its only now 7 months after sentencing that I am beginning to see improvement in my mental health. I still have anxiety but it no longer overwhelms me and I've come to realise that one bad day doesn't mean the next day will be bad too. I've leaned to accept that I'll always have anxiety but that I can live with it and enjoy appreciate the good days.

I now go to a yoga class each week which is aimed specifically at mental health well bring and recovery and focuses on meditation and breathing. I'm also engaged with a local organisation which offers workshops and anxieties for mental health wellbeing. I realise now that my mental well being is damaged and can't be taken for granted so I have to work at keeping to well.

You might like to consider going back to your GP and explaining that you are still overwhelmed with anxiety. It could be that you are not on the right medication or the right dose or that like me you need 2 different types of medication. You could also try to give yourself worry time during the day when you allow yourself to worry about anything and everything for a set amount of time before trying to put the worries out of your mind until your next worry time. This takes a lot of control and effort but can be done.

@Devastatedwife

Hi, I've sent you a message xx

I really feel for you & wish we could magic away your anxiety. It is a hard road.

However,I would say try to separate the Hypothetical from the facts. Our mind flies off in all different directions-usually to the most pessimistic scenario.

We can not control most of the judicial process & we feel we have no control but you can look after your own wellbeing,which will give you strength to deal with what's ahead.

Please keep coming back to this forum for support. It really is a lifeline.

For me when it came the professionals its the one thing I couldn't control I told myself be honest and you can't go wrong I never overthought any of the conversations before hand I just went in with honesty, afterwards was another story I over analysed the whole conversation which sent anxiety through the roof. The only piece of advice is be honest you clearly love your child and a lot of your anxiety is more than likely you want to protect, I know this was the case for my daughter I was lucky as in she was old enough to have a conversation with social work literally 3 days after arrest and charges and they were satisfied he could have unsupervised contact with her. Please continue to reach out whenever you need too I am only ever a message away x

Just spotted you mentioning anxiety medication in a second post. I'd recommend asking your GP about propranolol for managing anxiety if thats not what you're using. You can take it as a regular daily medication or just in response to an oncoming panic attack. It works by suppressing the physical symptoms of the panic, which really helps me. I'd got to the stage of panicing about the panic if that makes any sense?

Also my OH now has a good specialist solicitor and has given me full disclosure, which has helped. Meeting one to one with the solicitor independently of OH and knowing I'd see everything as soon as he did helped restore some sense of contol.

I also went against the prevailing wisdom and have a little circle of close friends (mostly ppl I know from the church I go to) who know everything. Its been seven months and not a word has leaked from any of them. They've been amazing. My kids know these people know and that they can talk to them too if they want to.

I really hesitate with this because I don't want to offend, but I'm a fairly 'serious' church-going Christian and I think I'd go mad without a sense that there's something bigger than me carrying me & my kids and a future beyond this often crappy life. I have massive respect for people who get through this without that. I don't think I could have, not in the early days. I've become better and better I'd just stepping back and trusting that for example good can come out of terrible things (which means the unused propranalol is piling up in my drawer a bit!).

Sad and scared my oh has found comfort in church, he had to go through a safeguarding meeting but they were very nice, oh often feels he is being watched at church but as always said our mind is our own worst enemy, I have always had a strong faith and continue with my faith, I have contemplated often reaching out to the gp for medication but I haven't as yet