Family and Friends Forum

Thank you Starr for keeping this going. In the early days i loved the check in. It is a reminder that I had survived another week. I still think that sometimes, three years post sentencing and my situation is lurking in the background.

I hope you enjoy your television. I started to watch 24 again last night. It seems old and clunkey now but i do like Kiefer Sutherland!




Weekend is working overtime but hope to get to the gym and take my furbaby out on Sunday.



Hope you all manage some peace this weekend

Hi Starr and Webb,

Thank you both for your posts.

Starr, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve kept the weekend check-in going. Like you, I used to wait for it in the early days. it helped me feel less alone and reminded me that surviving another week was an achievement in itself.

Webb, I completely understand what you mean about things still feeling wobbly, even when life looks a bit more stable on paper. I’ve had a similar kind of week. nothing particularly wrong, just a heaviness that’s hard to explain. Sometimes I think it’s when the new normal actually starts to feel normal that the sadness of what we’ve lost has space to show itself again. And this week I was sad.

Maybe it’s also because the journey is just so long. We’re slowly approaching 12 months since the knock, and there’s still so far to go. the investigation hasn’t ended, and the uncertainty lingers over everything. Maybe I’m just tired of living one day at a time, but it’s like my brain won’t let me see any further ahead. Maybe that’s its way of protecting me, or maybe it’s just part of the slow process of healing. I don’t know. I’m nowhere near as broken as I was, yet I still struggle to look forward to things or even book anything in.

And for anyone reading who’s still in those raw, early days. reading post after post after post. looking for hope. desperate. I remember that place so clearly. I will never forget the fire. when every sound and thought feels too loud, and leaving the house feels impossible. I won’t say “it gets better” in the neat, tidy way people often mean, but the edges of the pain do soften. You find small moments, maybe an hour of calm, a breath that doesn’t hurt and over time, those moments do join up. You will get through this, even if right now it doesn’t feel possible. As I write this, my children sleep in a warm bed, we shared genuine giggles after school, as praise be they ate their vegatables without me threatening the end of civilisation as we know it. and tonight, that is enough.

Sending strength to you both and a quiet wish to all who read this that the weekend brings a small pocket of peace somewhere in it.

sending light, as always

Ashes xx

Starr,

Thank you for keeping the check-in going... nothing really to update on...

Billy Connolly once said "The future doesn't exist and neither does the past.. worrying about it is a waste of time and effort.."

So in the bubble we stay...

Take care everyone

Hi Starr and everyone :)

Thanks for keeping this going Starr, it feels really important to have this for people going through this journey.

We have no update, still awaiting outcome of the interview.

My one year old has been keeping me busy and smiling! Such a lovely but tiring age!

Hugs to everyone xx

Hello all, I am trying to keep afloat, hence the trying to be positive username... things are really bad :(

Hi everyone

I get the heavyness I've been feeling this but things aren't going well with myself and my person. I'm seeing new traits within him, unsure if it's the stress and the actual realisation that hes been convinced Ans has all these new conditions in him, he's not allowed near the house or to see the kids just now. I was an approved supervisor before but everything needs reasseded again. They want to keep him away from the house to keep it a safe place for me and the kids as his offense was connection on a chat with undercover vigilantes and streamed live when they came u the house. Back in August I asked sw to start the process to work towards him coming back home they were still ok then with me supervising. Now I'm on the fence about continuing to work on our relationship, him been convinced doesn't change what's happened but I'm finding it hard to deal with this. He's now trying to be controlling and emotionally black mail me, saying it's me or nothing, he can't be a dad if we're not a couple as he wouldny be a real day a full time dad. Last night it was where di I see myself this time on one year and I had to answer before midnight. He was such a laid back person before we worked well together. Sorry I've come on here and had a mini rant



Hope everyone is doing ok

thanks Starr for check in post



just waiting to hear from solicitors as we keep to apply for legal aid I've let it hi this weekend what will he will be it's out in f my control but so Scared for my boy , he sat with me today Andre me hold his hand clear sign he's scared wouldnt dream of that a week ago

stay strong all much love

thanks Starr for check in post



just waiting to hear from solicitors as we keep to apply for legal aid I've let it hi this weekend what will he will be it's out in f my control but so Scared for my boy , he sat with me today Andre me hold his hand clear sign he's scared wouldnt dream of that a week ago

stay strong all much love

Hello All,

Starr, thank you for keeping check in going! It has always been my favourite post!

I haven't been coming to the forum much lately. It was no longer healthy for me, I was checking multiple times a day and feeling so sad afterwards.

My husband was released from prison in August. He spent a total of nine months incarcerated. Our marriage is struggling, how could it not, but the kids are so glad to have him around. He doesn't live with us but is here every day.

He got a job! It's doing landscaping work which isn't fancy but the work is honest.

It's Thanksgiving holiday here in Canada and I'm trying to be thankful for what I have but I'm so grieving for what I've lost.

Take care everyone.

Thank you for keeping this going Starr

This weekends seen mixed emotions.

Happy side is my younger teenager and going out for his birthday. A nice family meal.

We are still waiting for the report update since devices were checked for my older teenager after being told at start of week devices were checked. Trying to put it to the back of my mind.

We took him to look around a university today but we got there his anxiety kicked in and so we came home. Even without this hanging over him I've always worried about when it came time for university.

We also are having battle at GP surgery. They failed to send medical info for autism assessment and are saying they can't send it without an email from company. Feel I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

So mix of emotions. xx