How do you separate the person from the offence?
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I'm really finding this difficult and I see it said that the offence doesn't define them, but I can't see how at this stage. Is this something that comes with time? I'd be interested in others' experiences. Thank you
For me it's been the way he has changed since his arrest - the hard work he has put in to himself and our family - his acceptance that he was suffering from depression and anxiety (from someone who was always very dismissive of mental health issues).
Of course I will never truly understand why he chose the path he did to deal with his mental health - and I don't think he will either.
But I made the choice almost from the beginning to support him. That was my decision alone - he is grateful for my support. I'm grateful that my adult kids are also supportive. The wider family don't know.
I think I have managed to separate the man I've known for over 20 years from the man who spent a couple of months going down a very wrong path. Equally, I'm glad he was caught before it escalated to god knows what.
I'm still hurt by his actions and I still think about it a lot but I love him and I will support him. Unless it happens again - which I don't think it will - but if it does then I'm done.
At the end of the day there is no right or wrong way to deal with this awful situation. Some stay, some go, and some go but still support. Whatever you decide will be right for you at the time, and you can always change your mind - at any time you chose xxx
Of course I will never truly understand why he chose the path he did to deal with his mental health - and I don't think he will either.
But I made the choice almost from the beginning to support him. That was my decision alone - he is grateful for my support. I'm grateful that my adult kids are also supportive. The wider family don't know.
I think I have managed to separate the man I've known for over 20 years from the man who spent a couple of months going down a very wrong path. Equally, I'm glad he was caught before it escalated to god knows what.
I'm still hurt by his actions and I still think about it a lot but I love him and I will support him. Unless it happens again - which I don't think it will - but if it does then I'm done.
At the end of the day there is no right or wrong way to deal with this awful situation. Some stay, some go, and some go but still support. Whatever you decide will be right for you at the time, and you can always change your mind - at any time you chose xxx
Thank you so much, its so difficult. My support is there 100% but it is still difficult to get my head around. My person isn't a partner so there is a different dynamic, but your reply is very helpful. Xx
I couldn't separate the 2. But then I didn't see much in the way of remorse. He attended meetings etc but I think it was just a tick box exercise.
I can't separate them either. Sorry!