Am I being naive?
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Well today we got the knock. OH taken off for interview, me at home having everything turned upside down.
It's a lot to process, from reading the forum we could be in for the long haul.
He's home, we've talked. He said he was sent a couple of videos which he deleted as soon as he saw what they were. I suppose my question is is that enough to warrant the knock and this turmoil or must there be something else? Don't get me wrong anything is bad but I need to know if it's conceivable or if he's hiding anything else. I just can't bring myself to accept that that's a reasonable explanation without me having any comprehension of if that's realistic. Please can someone give me some guidance, reassurance....?
It's a lot to process, from reading the forum we could be in for the long haul.
He's home, we've talked. He said he was sent a couple of videos which he deleted as soon as he saw what they were. I suppose my question is is that enough to warrant the knock and this turmoil or must there be something else? Don't get me wrong anything is bad but I need to know if it's conceivable or if he's hiding anything else. I just can't bring myself to accept that that's a reasonable explanation without me having any comprehension of if that's realistic. Please can someone give me some guidance, reassurance....?
Firstly I'm so sorry you have found yourself here, but you've come to the right place for advice and support.
There are plenty of us here who have been in your situation - no matter what the offence we all had these same questions and worries at one time or another.
Of course I can't say if your person is being honest with you or not - but experience has taught me that things are not always that simple.
In our case my OH had a conversation with a police decoy posing as a teenager. The conversation was very brief but that was sufficient to bring the 'knock'.
I wasn't stupid enough to believe that he had been that unlucky and the first time was the time he got caught - he must have been indulging in some dodgy internet to have got there in the first place.
All I can advise is to be prepared. These cases can take months, in some cases years. We are 15 months in and have sentencing in about 3 weeks time.
I hope that this is resolved quickly for you but do use this forum to ask questions or even just to rant. We are all in the same boat and we are a very supportive bunch. Xxx
There are plenty of us here who have been in your situation - no matter what the offence we all had these same questions and worries at one time or another.
Of course I can't say if your person is being honest with you or not - but experience has taught me that things are not always that simple.
In our case my OH had a conversation with a police decoy posing as a teenager. The conversation was very brief but that was sufficient to bring the 'knock'.
I wasn't stupid enough to believe that he had been that unlucky and the first time was the time he got caught - he must have been indulging in some dodgy internet to have got there in the first place.
All I can advise is to be prepared. These cases can take months, in some cases years. We are 15 months in and have sentencing in about 3 weeks time.
I hope that this is resolved quickly for you but do use this forum to ask questions or even just to rant. We are all in the same boat and we are a very supportive bunch. Xxx
I totally agree with lostinthewoods. We so want definite answers and the very fact that this has happened really unsettles us. In our case it's our adult son and for ages (we are approaching 3 years with sentencing in 2 weeks) I asked myself what other horrors might be discovered. If he could have indecent images, what else might he have done as that alone seemed incomprehensible. I know my son and can easily tell if he's lying just by his face and we didn't once see THAT face when we asked him about things. I now know that he has told us the truth right from day 1. So although many people will have had the opposite experience of more coming out as time goes on, for some of us (and I know we are fortunate in this respect) it is just as possible that there will be nothing other than what you know now. This really is a marathon in trying to get some peace of mind - I think as a mum and dad, and not a partner, it has been easier for us as I was able to decide that whatever the outcome we loved our son and would support him in whatever way necessary without condoning what he had done. That is so much more complicated for partners to think through. The other advice in that respect is to learn ways to take one day at a time.......but that can be so tricky.