What happens afterwards ?
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I know I've spoken on here about this before and Thankyou to those that have gotten back to me but just after hearing about as many experiences as possible ...
My husband has a psychological assessment coming up and we're all hoping this will help us on moving forward? Have others found things have moved forward , they said they'd work on me supervising once his risk is clearly known? I've worked so hard will I finally finally get my chance, it's been soul destroying relying on others over a year it's enough now....thanks
I'm not really sleeping at night always thinking how can I do better so I don't fail ky son and they will trust me, they're destroying my confidence and I can't take much more of them being involved as much as I understand why, it's all the comments that aren't true and it messes me up that on my assessment the social worker said for me to supervise and phase out their involvement then the supervisor said no??? She's never even met me :/ it's like being so close and having it all snatched away in my face.....
also has anyone else had police and probation want to meet them I feel like a criminal having to meet such people and the police woman isn't nice and I'm so scared of how she'll treat me, she bullies my husband and says people like you don't go home and stuff like that :( but that's all we want and are working for as long as he works hard as he has been, am I within my rights to ask them to be kind to me? as I can't take being treated badly when I'm nothing but an innocent non offended and loving mother who wants her children happy :( is that so wrong? Because it surely feels like I'm doing something wrong
please tell me it will get better, we want to be together and live the life we've dreamed of for nearly 15 years, there's more to a person than just the bad things an even though they must be taken into account for the children there's still much more to people than their bad traits.
My husband has a psychological assessment coming up and we're all hoping this will help us on moving forward? Have others found things have moved forward , they said they'd work on me supervising once his risk is clearly known? I've worked so hard will I finally finally get my chance, it's been soul destroying relying on others over a year it's enough now....thanks
I'm not really sleeping at night always thinking how can I do better so I don't fail ky son and they will trust me, they're destroying my confidence and I can't take much more of them being involved as much as I understand why, it's all the comments that aren't true and it messes me up that on my assessment the social worker said for me to supervise and phase out their involvement then the supervisor said no??? She's never even met me :/ it's like being so close and having it all snatched away in my face.....
also has anyone else had police and probation want to meet them I feel like a criminal having to meet such people and the police woman isn't nice and I'm so scared of how she'll treat me, she bullies my husband and says people like you don't go home and stuff like that :( but that's all we want and are working for as long as he works hard as he has been, am I within my rights to ask them to be kind to me? as I can't take being treated badly when I'm nothing but an innocent non offended and loving mother who wants her children happy :( is that so wrong? Because it surely feels like I'm doing something wrong
please tell me it will get better, we want to be together and live the life we've dreamed of for nearly 15 years, there's more to a person than just the bad things an even though they must be taken into account for the children there's still much more to people than their bad traits.
I feel for you I really do. I'm in a similar situation with ss, they have been absolutely awful. My situation is a bit different as I have been allowed to supervise since the arrest in August 2023. We had assessments done during PLO, my OH is low risk and I'm protective. We went to our conference review with having it in writing that the SS recommended case closure. The conference chair overruled the decision. So it seems management are the ones pulling the strings. My OH's probation officer has been awful aswell, constantly labelling my OH as high risk. I had a conversation with him last year and all it was, was to confirm my OH is high risk- really didn't see the point of the conversation! Despite my OH's low risk, the CPP is continuing for another six months, having to cope with monthly core group meetings again, he isnt allowed to stay at the house and put up with flipping unnanounced visits. It really isn't fair xx
That is madness how aren't they letting you move on!?
just got minutes from last call praising my sons growth and my care but then at the end says "concerns of not understanding and putting my sons wellbeing before my relationship with my son?" What evidence?? I've done all I can for my little boy I don't get if :( he comes first
just got minutes from last call praising my sons growth and my care but then at the end says "concerns of not understanding and putting my sons wellbeing before my relationship with my son?" What evidence?? I've done all I can for my little boy I don't get if :( he comes first
That's the problem, they are not letting us move on. They are now saying they need to look at hypothetical risk which is just ridiculous x
I've met with probation and visor (police) on a few occasions. His first probation officer was a bit of a nightmare and recommended contact in the community if I was to solely supervise. Fortunately the sw went against that recommendation and allowed me to supervise anywhere.
His last probation officer was very supportive, she wanted us to make the move of having him back home whilst he was still under probation to give a more personal report to ss rather than just a general statement from an officer who picks up his file.
Like you I was very nervous but try to go in with an open mind. Perhaps write down a few questions for them about how they view his risk to your son, is this different to his general risk to children? Is your support and relationship with your husband a positive factor in their professional opinion? Do they have any suggestions for strengthening his rehabilitation (jobs if appropriate, any support groups that he isn't already a part of etc)? Anything that shows you want to work as a team with them and that you understand that they have a job to do and risk assessments form a large part of that xxx
His last probation officer was very supportive, she wanted us to make the move of having him back home whilst he was still under probation to give a more personal report to ss rather than just a general statement from an officer who picks up his file.
Like you I was very nervous but try to go in with an open mind. Perhaps write down a few questions for them about how they view his risk to your son, is this different to his general risk to children? Is your support and relationship with your husband a positive factor in their professional opinion? Do they have any suggestions for strengthening his rehabilitation (jobs if appropriate, any support groups that he isn't already a part of etc)? Anything that shows you want to work as a team with them and that you understand that they have a job to do and risk assessments form a large part of that xxx
so imaginary risk basically?? Clutching at straws it seems to me.
I'll try keep an open mind but the fact that it's starting to break my heart is making it so hard now I just get frustrated :( thought with all my husbands hard work he'd be working more positively towards being home now, they said that it's not been long into the process it's been over a year apart like this and using others to be a family it's so unfair on everyone else relying on them when I'm capable myself.
I have a very in depth plan of how to protect him and I'm very serious about how important this is, how can they say such untrue things I feel like I've failed my son.
It's made me bad, I've sent a long message asking why it appears I don't put my sons wellbeing first, all my reports are positive and they always say how happy and healthy he is, I'm a non offender I don't want all these visits any more it should've my husband under a radar not me :,( I feel like I'm a criminal how can I reassure them and make it right for them, all I want to do is work with everyone.
I just want this assessment to help bring this to a positive progress of some sort , we need this we're all losing our minds
now even added that my son gets upset when his dad leaves to the concerns section?? Well yes it is a concern? But let me guess that goes against us too probably say I'm hurting him by letting him see his dad next.
I'll try keep an open mind but the fact that it's starting to break my heart is making it so hard now I just get frustrated :( thought with all my husbands hard work he'd be working more positively towards being home now, they said that it's not been long into the process it's been over a year apart like this and using others to be a family it's so unfair on everyone else relying on them when I'm capable myself.
I have a very in depth plan of how to protect him and I'm very serious about how important this is, how can they say such untrue things I feel like I've failed my son.
It's made me bad, I've sent a long message asking why it appears I don't put my sons wellbeing first, all my reports are positive and they always say how happy and healthy he is, I'm a non offender I don't want all these visits any more it should've my husband under a radar not me :,( I feel like I'm a criminal how can I reassure them and make it right for them, all I want to do is work with everyone.
I just want this assessment to help bring this to a positive progress of some sort , we need this we're all losing our minds
now even added that my son gets upset when his dad leaves to the concerns section?? Well yes it is a concern? But let me guess that goes against us too probably say I'm hurting him by letting him see his dad next.
I've had an email off my employer today saying they are not going to give me time off to attend core group meetings or anything anymore. I've sent it off to SS but they will twist it and use it against me somehow. Nearly 16 months my daughter has been on a CPP and even my employer is fed up with it now x
Surely they should cater for your work that's not fair on you at all!
heard it all today turns out my husband has 3 risks with probation (even though it's due for review in December)
high to children
medium to ME???(okay then)
and low to everyone else
wtf he's a risk to me
I'm losing the will x
heard it all today turns out my husband has 3 risks with probation (even though it's due for review in December)
high to children
medium to ME???(okay then)
and low to everyone else
wtf he's a risk to me
I'm losing the will x