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Has this ruined everything for me?

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HopingonaMiracle

Member since
February 2025

83 posts

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Posted Wed November 5, 2025 6:00pm
Edited Sat November 8, 2025 2:26amReport post

26a20

Member since
December 2024

242 posts

Was it something which was discussed which the midwife could have misinterpreted?

Also is your husband maintaining that he only went guilty to get it over with, if so your only repeating what he said not that you agree with or believe that statement.

As for professionals not lying I'd suggest your social worker takes a look at the fitness to practice pages of the NMC,GMC and HCPC websites they will find plenty of examples of dishonest health professionals.

Posted Thu November 6, 2025 8:10am
Edited Thu November 6, 2025 8:14amReport post

HopingonaMiracle

Member since
February 2025

83 posts

This is it I think it's misinterpretation, but I said yesterday didn't say it and all I got is they're writing it down so guessing that's blown it all for me,

all I've done is sleep I've asked them to call as being this stressed while pregnant isn't good but nothing :( so worried.

Posted Thu November 6, 2025 12:58pmReport post

Inthemoment

Member since
February 2023

427 posts

Deep breaths. You need to calmly explain that you are sorry the midwife understood what you said to mean this, and that is very important to you that they understand you believe your husband is guilty of the offence. If you can, give your version of the conversation - a flat out denial won't land well, you need to contextualise how the midwife came to misunderstand you. It would be surprising for the midwife to completely make it up out of nowhere - so did some kind of conversation occur where you discussed the plea hearing that she misunderstood? You need to stay calm whilst demonstrating that you are upset (hard when pregnant I know) - you need to essentially demonstrate how ridiculous/insane/not in line with your beliefs this statement from the midwife is. If you appear to be hysterical or insisting the midwife has made it up you are unlikely to be believed as this will come across as defensive.

What you are wanting to demonstrate to services is how to manage the potential risk he presents.



Presumably your husband presents two tisks. He may reoffend online and this would create risk of him being imprisoned and disrupting the family, it could also cause your children to inadvertently see illegal material if they accessed his devices. The other risk is that his online offending could transfer to contact offending. You can say you believe this is a low risk as backed by research and independent assessment of him, or you wouldn't contemplate staying with him. however you need to say you understand and accept there is risk, and thefore a safety plan is needed, because you can never 100% know another person or be certain of anything, and this act sadly makes him less trustworthy.

Explain the plan you want to put into place and how this will help you meet your children's emotional and physical needs, and support you in being the best possible mum. Explain you want to get this safety plan embedded before the baby arrives to reduce the risk of severe stress in the third trimester which could negatively impact your and the baby's health.

Best wishes and I hope your pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible given the circumstances

Posted Thu November 6, 2025 9:43pmReport post

HopingonaMiracle

Member since
February 2025

83 posts

Thankyou



this is really informative and helpful



having a chat tomorrow and definitely going to get these points across, certainly a misunderstanding which could be my fault, I'm not sure, not the best with words so I can confuse people at times haha.



hopefully I clear this up but when it's my word against professionals it's so tough! Fingers crossed I'm listened to.

Posted Fri November 7, 2025 2:23amReport post

Quick exit