How to live from now on
Notifications OFF
My person is facing terrifyingly long sentences because, for some reason, his case became federal. I can hardly even think about these charges, and I hope with all my heart that they aren’t true. But if he cannot prove his innocence, he will go to prison for many years—maybe even decades—for the very same things that usually receive short or suspended sentences in state court. Despite the horrifying and revolting nature of these charges, I can’t imagine living without him for that long. Even thinking about it breaks my heart. I’m not young anymore, and I might not live long enough to see him free again. I also know that with charges like these, the chances of surviving in prison are very low. I’m crying constantly and feel like my body can’t handle this pain anymore.
Hello,
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends Forum. We wanted to contribute to your thread as it seems you have not received a response just yet, but we hope that some of our Forum users will be able to respond to offer you some support soon. Our Forum is quite active, so occasionally posts may be missed, but we encourage you to check in frequently for a reply, as responses often come in with time.
In the meantime, if you have not already reached out, I would gently encourage you to contact our Stop It Now helpline. It is a free, confidential, and anonymous service available on 0808 1000 900. Our trained advisors are there to listen, explore your situation with you, and provide tailored support. You can find more information about the helpline and chat service, as well as our opening hours here.
We hope that someone will respond to your post soon, so that you can receive some support from our Forum users.
Take care,
The Forum Team
Thank you for posting on the Family and Friends Forum. We wanted to contribute to your thread as it seems you have not received a response just yet, but we hope that some of our Forum users will be able to respond to offer you some support soon. Our Forum is quite active, so occasionally posts may be missed, but we encourage you to check in frequently for a reply, as responses often come in with time.
In the meantime, if you have not already reached out, I would gently encourage you to contact our Stop It Now helpline. It is a free, confidential, and anonymous service available on 0808 1000 900. Our trained advisors are there to listen, explore your situation with you, and provide tailored support. You can find more information about the helpline and chat service, as well as our opening hours here.
We hope that someone will respond to your post soon, so that you can receive some support from our Forum users.
Take care,
The Forum Team
From my understanding of prisons around the world is they put people like sex offenders in a certain part of the prison and if not theyre let out at a different time to eat and exercise, its where the term nonce comes from if I remember rightly. Its to help protect them from other prisoners because yes if they find out they can be attacked. Anything to do with children or women is not viewed kindly by other prisoners. But this is why they keep them apart to protect where possible.
I wish you luck
I wish you luck
Sad-n-sick, I’m truly sorry that your post sat unanswered for so long. You deserve to be seen and heard, and I want you to know you’re not alone.
I’m here because of my son, and I understand those waves of sadness, fear, isolation, and despair more deeply than I ever wished to. Please be gentle with yourself right now. Taking things one day—or even one moment—at a time can make a real difference, even though I know it doesn’t always feel easy.
If you haven’t already, it might help to reach out to your GP or another trusted professional for support. You don’t have to carry this by yourself, and there are people who want to help you through it.
Please keep reaching out, we're here to walk this nightmare of a journey with you and to support you each step of the way.
Hi Sad-'n-sick,
I read your post a while ago and couldn't think how to respond as I think you must live in the USA, not the UK anyway with some of your terminology so it was hard to know how to respond helpfully. I do know that other countries have far harsher penalties than we do (and ours are hard enough). However, emotions are exactly the same for us family members as fear and anxiety about our loved ones isn't controlled by geography so I'm sorry I didn't reply before. For your own understanding the Lucy Faithfull Foundation website has some excellent teaching pages (although the legal descriptions about process wouldn't apply to you overseas) and I'm not sure whether they would agree to a personal chat with you using some way that didn't rack up huge phone bills - certainly the online Inform course for family and friends would be accessible apart from a time difference. It might be worth contacting them - or they might know of an organisation nearer home where you could seek help.
I don't know how your health system works as we have the NHS so can see a GP to ask for some help, but it is important that you care for yourself and there is help for dealing with what is essentially a traumatic time for you. Your worries for your person is understandable as we have that over here too - do your prisons have vulnerale prisoner wings? Also is there a barrister/solicitor defending your person as that is the person to seek some intervention from although I appreciate that might be a luxury you can't afford.
Lastly though, Ocean has given you the best advice possible which is to try to develop the ability to take one day at a time as this helps that awful spiral down (which most of us are familiar with) the 'what ifs' rabbit hole.
Do keep reading and posting on here. I suspect you didn't get any response because people realised you were outside the UK system - but we can reach across the world with empathy and kindness even if we're not much help practically.
I read your post a while ago and couldn't think how to respond as I think you must live in the USA, not the UK anyway with some of your terminology so it was hard to know how to respond helpfully. I do know that other countries have far harsher penalties than we do (and ours are hard enough). However, emotions are exactly the same for us family members as fear and anxiety about our loved ones isn't controlled by geography so I'm sorry I didn't reply before. For your own understanding the Lucy Faithfull Foundation website has some excellent teaching pages (although the legal descriptions about process wouldn't apply to you overseas) and I'm not sure whether they would agree to a personal chat with you using some way that didn't rack up huge phone bills - certainly the online Inform course for family and friends would be accessible apart from a time difference. It might be worth contacting them - or they might know of an organisation nearer home where you could seek help.
I don't know how your health system works as we have the NHS so can see a GP to ask for some help, but it is important that you care for yourself and there is help for dealing with what is essentially a traumatic time for you. Your worries for your person is understandable as we have that over here too - do your prisons have vulnerale prisoner wings? Also is there a barrister/solicitor defending your person as that is the person to seek some intervention from although I appreciate that might be a luxury you can't afford.
Lastly though, Ocean has given you the best advice possible which is to try to develop the ability to take one day at a time as this helps that awful spiral down (which most of us are familiar with) the 'what ifs' rabbit hole.
Do keep reading and posting on here. I suspect you didn't get any response because people realised you were outside the UK system - but we can reach across the world with empathy and kindness even if we're not much help practically.
The American system is so complicated, but I do know that they have different categories of prison, like we do here, and that those charged with image offences are held in the lowest security facilities, which are relatively safe.
There are many support groups in the USA, including forums like this one.
https://all4consolaws.org/resources/support-groups/
http://support-for-families.boards.net
There are many support groups in the USA, including forums like this one.
https://all4consolaws.org/resources/support-groups/
http://support-for-families.boards.net