Wish me luck at the CPP conference
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Our conference is coming up soon and honestly stressing a lot, not because of the potential of going on a CPP (child protection plan) but because I have visual and auditory delay disorder because im dyslexic. I really struggle to articulate particularly verbally, which has meant that my relationship with SS has been well rocky to put it politely.
It's hard when you understand fully and agree with their concerns but its also so infuriating when they tell you - "youre doing everything you can, keep doing what youre doing. There is nothing we can suggest you do. We just have to get to sentencing." And then this happens. So i will be very interested if we do get put from a CIN to a CPP what they put on there considering this has been said to us.
At least my husbands been charged now (possession and distribution of IIOCs) and we are awaiting court. Hopefully new year new start on the road to hopefully one day being able to live together again. I may have to wait a long time but I hold out hope.
It's hard when you understand fully and agree with their concerns but its also so infuriating when they tell you - "youre doing everything you can, keep doing what youre doing. There is nothing we can suggest you do. We just have to get to sentencing." And then this happens. So i will be very interested if we do get put from a CIN to a CPP what they put on there considering this has been said to us.
At least my husbands been charged now (possession and distribution of IIOCs) and we are awaiting court. Hopefully new year new start on the road to hopefully one day being able to live together again. I may have to wait a long time but I hold out hope.
Do you know which professionals are attending the conference? It's all the professionals who agree (or a majority vote) on what the outcome will be whether CIN or CPP. Parents don't have a say in it I'm afraid. The social worker will give you an assessment at least two days before the conference and that will give you a good idea of what might happen. Don't be afraid to challenge inaccuracies in the report because they do have a habit of twisting things. I've gone through four CPP conferences now. Just ask anything you want xx
Upset mother -my understanding is it will be the social services, her nursery and because theyre understanding 2 their health visitor. Health visitor ,and her nursery have zero concerns not that ive seen a health visitor since the one year check.
Im getting a report via the health visitor tomorrow but not had anything from social services yet
Im getting a report via the health visitor tomorrow but not had anything from social services yet
Have you been given a reason why it's gone to conference then? That only happens when a S47 strategy meeting has occurred and the threshold of significant harm has been met. I would ask your social worker for some clarity on this as somebody has raised concerns for them to consider a conference x
Upset mother. They're worried about future potential harm and a potential for my mental health getting in the way of me protecting her. Ive tried to put across to them that I would protect her no matter what. But im staying with him makes them think other wise and thats because unfortunately my husband 2 hours prior to being arrested started a conversation with an adult.
What was said wasnt good, they were basically being trolls is the only way i can describe it really. And due to that conversation the SS have concerns. Rightfully so. I was banging my head on the table when he told me going WTF just why. As he had zero recollection or this conversation prior to the police throw it at him when he was interviewed. And I do believe him, litrally days before hand we had been in a &e because our daughter was incredibly sick and we got home at like 5am, we were both still horrifically sleep deprived when the knock happened so I doubt he remembers due to that.
There is no evidence of past harm to her or harm that has happened since arrest. They've always comments on how well we both are as parents and how happy and interactive our daughter is. But obviously me staying and this conversation he had means theyre worried. I get it.
I will be interested if we are escalated what their plan is because he is in therapy each week. He has done the inform course, he has agreed with SS to have a phyc evaluation and do any course probation offer when that comes around. He is truelly willing to do anything and everything he can to show he is a low risk. Its one of the reasons I stayed he is really trying to work on himself.
What was said wasnt good, they were basically being trolls is the only way i can describe it really. And due to that conversation the SS have concerns. Rightfully so. I was banging my head on the table when he told me going WTF just why. As he had zero recollection or this conversation prior to the police throw it at him when he was interviewed. And I do believe him, litrally days before hand we had been in a &e because our daughter was incredibly sick and we got home at like 5am, we were both still horrifically sleep deprived when the knock happened so I doubt he remembers due to that.
There is no evidence of past harm to her or harm that has happened since arrest. They've always comments on how well we both are as parents and how happy and interactive our daughter is. But obviously me staying and this conversation he had means theyre worried. I get it.
I will be interested if we are escalated what their plan is because he is in therapy each week. He has done the inform course, he has agreed with SS to have a phyc evaluation and do any course probation offer when that comes around. He is truelly willing to do anything and everything he can to show he is a low risk. Its one of the reasons I stayed he is really trying to work on himself.
My OH was charged with communication aswell- with an adult and no images involved. We have been on a CPP for 16 months which they have kept us on despite me being protective and my OH's risk being low. It does seem to vary between councils and SW's on what their stance is with online offences. Good luck with it, hope it goes well for you xx
Upset mother sorry if there is any miscommunication. My husbands not being charged with communication offenses just possession of 30 IIOC and distributing 5 images. The conversation he had was with one adult and what was said isn't illegal so he cant be charged for it.
It just makes him look like a terrible human being because he said stuff thats not what he actually thinks or believes, but he was instead trying to chase a doplamine high you can get from being "naughty" as he has never been that person prior. Which is why I can only really compare it to trolling people say things they dont mean or believe online all the time to get a dopamine hit from it but you cant take it back once its said.
It just makes him look like a terrible human being because he said stuff thats not what he actually thinks or believes, but he was instead trying to chase a doplamine high you can get from being "naughty" as he has never been that person prior. Which is why I can only really compare it to trolling people say things they dont mean or believe online all the time to get a dopamine hit from it but you cant take it back once its said.
Little update. Got SS report, a few factually incorrect bits. But certainly an interesting read.
I hate getting the assessments- they always put made up stuff in them. It really annoys me. When is your conference? x
Its later this week. Im going to email them with the ammendments they need to put into the report because they are factually incorrect. The most important thing they've got incorrect is what he has been charged with which is worrying. Ive seen the charge paperwork so I know exactly what the charges are
Funny you should say that- that happened with us aswell. They wrote he had been charged with a sexual offence when it wasnt. It was Obscene Publications 1959!
He has been charged with possession of 30 IIOCs and distribution of 5 IIOCs . Theyve put he has also been charged with communicating with other adults about sharing images. He hadn't been charged for that, I dont believe discussing sharing images with adults is chargeable its just bad character. But either way its not on his charge paperwork.
Mini update. I talked to the person who is going to chair the meeting coming up. Its really made me feel better. I cried during the call which I wasnt expecting but they seemed so lovely and explained the entire process. Its made me feel less anxious about it especially as my husband cannot be part of the meeting due to work commitments
Good luck with it. Even though it's a multi agency decision, it is the conference chair who has the power in this. They work for the safeguarding team who can override all decisions. I have just found this out recently myself. It's good to get them onside basically. In the conference as a team between you all, you go through strengths, concerns and weaknesses and formulate a safety plan off the back of it. All the professionals have to give a score between 1 and 10. Let me know how you get on xx
We are being upped to a CPP plan. The chair talked to me after and explained to me to not see it as a negative. But a positive, that now there will be more people involved and that will provide support and help.
I just hope now we actually get support rather than the no youre doing everything you can speal. There is nothing more you can do. Well clearly there is or you wouldnt put us on a CPP.
Once the sentence court date has been and done (when ever that will be). It sounds like things may or may not change. They still talk in the worst case senario for him. Such as going to prison for a number of years (2 to 5 is usually whats mentioned), on the register for life, conntact even under supervision being stopping and having a restraining order so he can never go near parks, schools, nurseries, etc.
All of these seem to me a crazy harsh sentence for procession and distribution. He has done wrong and he should be punished, but those punishments.... I dont know.
I just hope now we actually get support rather than the no youre doing everything you can speal. There is nothing more you can do. Well clearly there is or you wouldnt put us on a CPP.
Once the sentence court date has been and done (when ever that will be). It sounds like things may or may not change. They still talk in the worst case senario for him. Such as going to prison for a number of years (2 to 5 is usually whats mentioned), on the register for life, conntact even under supervision being stopping and having a restraining order so he can never go near parks, schools, nurseries, etc.
All of these seem to me a crazy harsh sentence for procession and distribution. He has done wrong and he should be punished, but those punishments.... I dont know.
Sorry to hear that. How did you find the conference experience? Were the professionals supportive etc... I don't want to sound negative but we have been on a CPP since August 2024 and it's impossible to get out of- they even took os to PLO and my OH's risk is low and they are still keeping us on a CPP. I really feel your pain xx
All the professionals where well professional, but not horrible. I wasnt 100% sure which way it would go because they all agreed that the CIN plan was working. Its the what if for the future. Theyre worried that when we move back in he will assult her. Because they fully believe he is a sexual predator just waiting for the opportune moment.I accept they've got to think the worst and until they have proof to show he isnt a sexual predictor they have to see him as one.
Going on a CPP would allow us to access help so the future we want is more likely, so I hold hope. Every so often I cry a lot because if the worst case senario happens we will have to sell and I will never, ever, ever be able to buy a home because we bought when prices where 80% lower then they are now and although yes ours will have gone up in value its still on the lower value compared to other homes because its small compared to other homes near us.
Going on a CPP would allow us to access help so the future we want is more likely, so I hold hope. Every so often I cry a lot because if the worst case senario happens we will have to sell and I will never, ever, ever be able to buy a home because we bought when prices where 80% lower then they are now and although yes ours will have gone up in value its still on the lower value compared to other homes because its small compared to other homes near us.