Will my brain ever be able to think of anything else
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Hello
im new here and so glad to finally find there other people in the same situation as us. Our son 17 was arrested back in August for allegations from a girl on Snapchat. Our world just fell apart. Our son has been the best behaved child ever, at school and at home. We sat and couldn't think of a time he'd ever been in trouble. He was bailed under investigation with the condition he doesn't have any contact with under 16s. He returned to answer bail a couple of weeks ago where he was just re bailed. So we feel we're just back at square one. He's due back the beginning of February when he will have just turned 18 so looses the rights of juvenile court. No evidence has been found as yet . We told the detective we would hand the passcodes over. He said he would email our solicitor to arrange this. After not hearing from our solicitor I rang him. He didn't know anything about an email but had bumped into the detective a few days before whilst he was at the police station. The detective informed him that he was applying for a RIPA. I just don't understand why he would do this when we had said we would give the passwords over. Our solicitor has now said to wait and see if a RIPA notice arrives!
it has all come out now that my son was being bullied at the time he took to this app to look for female attention. Two supposedly friends were telling him he'd die a virgin, no girl would ever love him, he'd die a sad lonely old man he's ugly etc etc. it started out as banter but quickly turned into bullying on my sons side. I did notice the change in him at the time and asked him several times if something was wrong. He just said it's was fine just his mates saying stuff and not to worry. I have messages I sent to my older daughter telling her I was worried about him and asked her to talk to him when she got home from uni. She did talk to him but he refused to open up to her too!
This is all I have in my head I wake up in the night thinking about it, I go to sleep thinking about it, when I'm at work I'm constantly thinking about it! Any advice or glimpses of hope that the sun will come out again soon are very welcome
x
im new here and so glad to finally find there other people in the same situation as us. Our son 17 was arrested back in August for allegations from a girl on Snapchat. Our world just fell apart. Our son has been the best behaved child ever, at school and at home. We sat and couldn't think of a time he'd ever been in trouble. He was bailed under investigation with the condition he doesn't have any contact with under 16s. He returned to answer bail a couple of weeks ago where he was just re bailed. So we feel we're just back at square one. He's due back the beginning of February when he will have just turned 18 so looses the rights of juvenile court. No evidence has been found as yet . We told the detective we would hand the passcodes over. He said he would email our solicitor to arrange this. After not hearing from our solicitor I rang him. He didn't know anything about an email but had bumped into the detective a few days before whilst he was at the police station. The detective informed him that he was applying for a RIPA. I just don't understand why he would do this when we had said we would give the passwords over. Our solicitor has now said to wait and see if a RIPA notice arrives!
it has all come out now that my son was being bullied at the time he took to this app to look for female attention. Two supposedly friends were telling him he'd die a virgin, no girl would ever love him, he'd die a sad lonely old man he's ugly etc etc. it started out as banter but quickly turned into bullying on my sons side. I did notice the change in him at the time and asked him several times if something was wrong. He just said it's was fine just his mates saying stuff and not to worry. I have messages I sent to my older daughter telling her I was worried about him and asked her to talk to him when she got home from uni. She did talk to him but he refused to open up to her too!
This is all I have in my head I wake up in the night thinking about it, I go to sleep thinking about it, when I'm at work I'm constantly thinking about it! Any advice or glimpses of hope that the sun will come out again soon are very welcome
x
Hello Tilly20Web
I am so sorry that you and your son find yourself in this position.
The helpline may be a good place to start, if you haven't already done so. They will be able to offer you and your son support during this process.
Just a thought .....Have you personally put in writing to the Police that your son turns 18 at the beginning of next year and your concerns that he will then be treated as an adult for something that has happened when he was a youth? I feel you have nothing to lose to try this to see if they will look at the case before your son turns 18. I would also reconfirm that they can have all the passwords for the devices to speed up the process.
It makes me so sad that youths caught up in all of this, are then unfairly treated as adults due to the long timescales.
How is your son doing at the moment?
Thinking of you and your son x
I am so sorry that you and your son find yourself in this position.
The helpline may be a good place to start, if you haven't already done so. They will be able to offer you and your son support during this process.
Just a thought .....Have you personally put in writing to the Police that your son turns 18 at the beginning of next year and your concerns that he will then be treated as an adult for something that has happened when he was a youth? I feel you have nothing to lose to try this to see if they will look at the case before your son turns 18. I would also reconfirm that they can have all the passwords for the devices to speed up the process.
It makes me so sad that youths caught up in all of this, are then unfairly treated as adults due to the long timescales.
How is your son doing at the moment?
Thinking of you and your son x
Hi Alison20
thanks for your reply. The police don't seem bothered that he turns 18 I've spoken to the detective, he basically said tough and the judge will take into consideration his age when the crime was committed. Our solicitor said there's not enough time the police go slowly, evidently our police force is known for not going very quickly!
At his re bail in November we said we wanted to hand tge passwords/pins over. We was ready to give them there and then but the detective said he couldn't take them. He said he would email our solicitor and we can pass them through him. But he never sent an email and told our solicitor he was applying for a RIPA. So our solicitor has said no don't give them and see if a RIPA turns up. He can't understand why he's doing t and thinks he maybe knows there's very little evidence. No photos were stored on any device. They are focusing on his computer and phone. The only possible place they may find something is in the saved in chat photos on Snapchat.
mum very up and down trying to keep busy as is his dad. My sons the same.
He was in such a good place when tge police turned up. Tge bullying had calmed down, he met his first girlfriend (whose still with him even through all of this) he's got a job!
I feel like it's just one long nightmare, this is more than enough punishment for my son he's most definitely learnt his lesson! Xx
thanks for your reply. The police don't seem bothered that he turns 18 I've spoken to the detective, he basically said tough and the judge will take into consideration his age when the crime was committed. Our solicitor said there's not enough time the police go slowly, evidently our police force is known for not going very quickly!
At his re bail in November we said we wanted to hand tge passwords/pins over. We was ready to give them there and then but the detective said he couldn't take them. He said he would email our solicitor and we can pass them through him. But he never sent an email and told our solicitor he was applying for a RIPA. So our solicitor has said no don't give them and see if a RIPA turns up. He can't understand why he's doing t and thinks he maybe knows there's very little evidence. No photos were stored on any device. They are focusing on his computer and phone. The only possible place they may find something is in the saved in chat photos on Snapchat.
mum very up and down trying to keep busy as is his dad. My sons the same.
He was in such a good place when tge police turned up. Tge bullying had calmed down, he met his first girlfriend (whose still with him even through all of this) he's got a job!
I feel like it's just one long nightmare, this is more than enough punishment for my son he's most definitely learnt his lesson! Xx
Hello Tilly20Web
It must be so frustrating for you that the detective just said tough when you spoke about your son turning 18. What many of us on this forum has come to realise from our personal experience is that the police don't care and are only interested in a conviction. It sounds like the detective in your son's case is sadly one of them.
From my experience your concerns over your son turning 18 may be taken more seriously if you put it in writing, as it makes it official rather than a converation you have had with the detective (which may not be recorded on record at all)
I attach this factsheet from Just for Kids Law about turning 18 that may be of interest to you.
https://www.justforkidslaw.org/sites/default/files/upload/YJLC%20Turning%2018%20briefing%20(June%202020).pdf
I am really sorry that you find yourself in this situation, as I know how annoying it is when we have no control on the long wait times.
Thinking of you.
It must be so frustrating for you that the detective just said tough when you spoke about your son turning 18. What many of us on this forum has come to realise from our personal experience is that the police don't care and are only interested in a conviction. It sounds like the detective in your son's case is sadly one of them.
From my experience your concerns over your son turning 18 may be taken more seriously if you put it in writing, as it makes it official rather than a converation you have had with the detective (which may not be recorded on record at all)
I attach this factsheet from Just for Kids Law about turning 18 that may be of interest to you.
https://www.justforkidslaw.org/sites/default/files/upload/YJLC%20Turning%2018%20briefing%20(June%202020).pdf
I am really sorry that you find yourself in this situation, as I know how annoying it is when we have no control on the long wait times.
Thinking of you.