Will we ever be a family again?
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Reading through other people's posts on the forum has sent me into a complete anxiety spiral.
My husband was arrested for "engaging in sexual communication with a minor" 2 weeks ago. Social services have gotten involved as we have a 2 year old together.
He's told me everything, its a pornography addiction which spiraled into chat rooms. His intention was never to speak to minors. I understand the severity of the accusations against him and I know how bad it looks. But I also know he loves our daughter with every single fibre of his being and would literally rather die than harm her in any way. If I thought he would harm her, its not him they'd need police for. He is doing absolutely everything he can to show he'll never ever do something like this again and wants to fix his mental health. He's engaging with talking therapy, stop it now, safer lives and SAA.
He didnt see her for the first 9 days at all, and we only got allowed to start supervised contact last Friday. She is allowed 3 hours per day at set times. I'm really really struggling emotionally. She keeps begging "Daddy come home". Her behaviour has taken a total downturn and she's regressed her toilet training. She desperately needs her Dad for her emotional wellbeing and development.
I feel my SW is purposely keeping me out of the loop, she's being deliberately vague when I ask about the assessments, the process and she's put nothing in writing. I have been told I am unable to 'reliably supervise' as I have "downplayed his actions". All I know is that they have 45 working days to complete their assessment, I was feeling hopeful that at the end of that, he'd be able to come home, even with full supervision from me. But now I'm reading other's posts on the forum and seeing that some people's partners are months even years down the line still on very limited contact. I don't know how to cope with all of it. Are we ever going to be able to be a family again?
My husband was arrested for "engaging in sexual communication with a minor" 2 weeks ago. Social services have gotten involved as we have a 2 year old together.
He's told me everything, its a pornography addiction which spiraled into chat rooms. His intention was never to speak to minors. I understand the severity of the accusations against him and I know how bad it looks. But I also know he loves our daughter with every single fibre of his being and would literally rather die than harm her in any way. If I thought he would harm her, its not him they'd need police for. He is doing absolutely everything he can to show he'll never ever do something like this again and wants to fix his mental health. He's engaging with talking therapy, stop it now, safer lives and SAA.
He didnt see her for the first 9 days at all, and we only got allowed to start supervised contact last Friday. She is allowed 3 hours per day at set times. I'm really really struggling emotionally. She keeps begging "Daddy come home". Her behaviour has taken a total downturn and she's regressed her toilet training. She desperately needs her Dad for her emotional wellbeing and development.
I feel my SW is purposely keeping me out of the loop, she's being deliberately vague when I ask about the assessments, the process and she's put nothing in writing. I have been told I am unable to 'reliably supervise' as I have "downplayed his actions". All I know is that they have 45 working days to complete their assessment, I was feeling hopeful that at the end of that, he'd be able to come home, even with full supervision from me. But now I'm reading other's posts on the forum and seeing that some people's partners are months even years down the line still on very limited contact. I don't know how to cope with all of it. Are we ever going to be able to be a family again?
Hi,
There is hope yes, but it does take time. My husband was arrested in June 2024, NFA June 2025 and he just been allowed home fully unsupervised this month.
We had 2 assessments, first was June-August and closed with a safety plan.
His bail conditions were then changed to come home if children's services agreed. We then had another assessment and we were told 45 days, it was early October until the last week in February.
Anything is possible but it does take time. We had an assessment each, both did the inform and inform plus course. We then had to do a phased return home.
x
There is hope yes, but it does take time. My husband was arrested in June 2024, NFA June 2025 and he just been allowed home fully unsupervised this month.
We had 2 assessments, first was June-August and closed with a safety plan.
His bail conditions were then changed to come home if children's services agreed. We then had another assessment and we were told 45 days, it was early October until the last week in February.
Anything is possible but it does take time. We had an assessment each, both did the inform and inform plus course. We then had to do a phased return home.
x
Hello! Youre daughter is older than mine (6 months) so understandably sounds like this has been very difficult and upsetting for your daughter. Additionally, this sounds very stressful for you :( I finished my capacity to protect assessment and then I waited 4 weeks with 0 contact from SS but on the 45th day at 2pm in the afternoon (after I bugged them) they agreed I am allowed to supervise and I was discharged from SS. My ex partner is temporarily staying in the caravan in the garden until we find seperate homes. I personally found having space quite beneficial for my mental health and to have breathing space.
Have they done this assessment on you yet? I found SS to be quite triggering to begin with but once I got a social worker who was more experienced and they answered my direct questions and felt on the same page with them. X
Have they done this assessment on you yet? I found SS to be quite triggering to begin with but once I got a social worker who was more experienced and they answered my direct questions and felt on the same page with them. X