Sleep, eating, basic self care
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Hi.
I’m 1 and a bit days into this nightmare. It’s very early days I know. Wondering how people are coping ( particularly during early days) with basic eating and sleeping during shock and horror of what they are faced with?
I’m 6 months pregnant and worried and have gone from eating and sleeping good to barely being able to stomach any food at all. I’ve spoken to someone on helpline and will do so again tomorrow. They went through mindful breathing with me as I was getting overwhelmed and hyperventilating on phone. Many advice please? I’m worried the stress will harm my baby. I also have a 7 year old with very challenging behaviour. X
I’m 1 and a bit days into this nightmare. It’s very early days I know. Wondering how people are coping ( particularly during early days) with basic eating and sleeping during shock and horror of what they are faced with?
I’m 6 months pregnant and worried and have gone from eating and sleeping good to barely being able to stomach any food at all. I’ve spoken to someone on helpline and will do so again tomorrow. They went through mindful breathing with me as I was getting overwhelmed and hyperventilating on phone. Many advice please? I’m worried the stress will harm my baby. I also have a 7 year old with very challenging behaviour. X
It is so very hard, I slept in my own bed for the first time last night but not successfully, woke up a number of times. As for eating I can't even stomach a coffee, I feel horrible too. You have the added stress of a baby to deal with. Try eat little and often, and stay hydrated, hopefully your appetite will eventually rebuild itself. I'm putting this down to the initial shock and heartbreak and hoping over time I will be back to my normal self.
Thanks for your reply Bav.
Is this quite recent for you too?
I havnt been able to sleep in my own bed yet. I spent last night on settee. I’m trying to eat, I have to try and stay healthy. I can manage smoothies so far. Feel sick to my stomach though. Night times are the worst so far. I can throw myself into stuff during the day. I’m forcing myself to have a bath. Everything reminds me of ‘him’ the heartbreak on top of the devastation, loss, fear. It’s almost too much to bare isn’t it? I’m clinging to my support network for dear life. Right now. X
Is this quite recent for you too?
I havnt been able to sleep in my own bed yet. I spent last night on settee. I’m trying to eat, I have to try and stay healthy. I can manage smoothies so far. Feel sick to my stomach though. Night times are the worst so far. I can throw myself into stuff during the day. I’m forcing myself to have a bath. Everything reminds me of ‘him’ the heartbreak on top of the devastation, loss, fear. It’s almost too much to bare isn’t it? I’m clinging to my support network for dear life. Right now. X
Oh lost123 I’m so sorry you are going through this too. I’m experiencing the same fears and panic at night as you describe. My son is my world, I’m terrified his birth father will try to now get custody and that I will lose him. SS have assured me that I am not seen as a risk particularly as my son will be having no contact with my unborn babies father ( the one who has commuted the offence) doesn’t stop those worries though does it.
I’ve been listening to meditations for trauma to try and sleep. Podcasts about overcoming hardship etc and I have an eckhart tolle book upstairs actually, I’ll te read it.
Thankyou so much for your reply. Knowing that other people are going through this is incredibly sad, but is giving me some comfort that I’m not alone.
Hope you manage ok this morning. Stay strong. x
I’ve been listening to meditations for trauma to try and sleep. Podcasts about overcoming hardship etc and I have an eckhart tolle book upstairs actually, I’ll te read it.
Thankyou so much for your reply. Knowing that other people are going through this is incredibly sad, but is giving me some comfort that I’m not alone.
Hope you manage ok this morning. Stay strong. x
Lost 123, I just re read your message and saw that your scan is this morning. Good luck. I hope you have someone with you for support. X
My heart is breaking for you all. I have no children or grandchildren, so only has myself to think of in those early days. I can only imagine how hard it is to cope when you have children to look after as well as yourself. It took many weeks before I could eat properly. I am now 6 months into this nightmare and find that I sleep, but have dreams/nightmares where I am trying to solve problems. I guess it's as I'm still trying to understand in my mind how my lovely honest hardworking husband of over 30 years got himself into this mess. I read and understand how this addiction works, but still can't believe he did it!!
My doctor wasn't very supportive (female and was I think disgusting at what he'd been accused of....caught by vigilantes and accused of attempting to meet a 13 year old girl and streamed on Facebook, so MUST be guilty!!!) However a friend recommended that I eat little and often, toast and honey and eggs were my go to, lots of water, and take a vitamin supplement. Lots of rest too. Best advice was only talk to people and do things that help you, be selfish, kindly turn people away if they make you feel uncomfortable or bad in any way. You are in survival mode. Fight or flight. I actually think the partners have it much worse, as we did not know it was coming or likely to come, my partner felt relief at his behaviour being exposed as he said he felt that he was being controlled by the internet and the bad people on it who, he says, trap and manipulate you into seeing and saying things??!!
He has had a psychological evaluation which shows he is not attracted to underage, which is some relief. He is having therapy and has a good solicitor. He has to live away whether I want him to or not, because of vigilantes. This means I am carrying the worries of home, friends and family whilst he is away licking his wounds. I find I am resenting him more and more as time goes on.
it is so sad to see so many people going this 'club'. This is such a rising 'crime' and the authorities are not able to deal with the volume in a timely manner. The porn industry should be made to pay for the mess that they create......
love and hugs to you all. You will be amazed at how strong you are. Something just kicks in, we will all survive this xx
My doctor wasn't very supportive (female and was I think disgusting at what he'd been accused of....caught by vigilantes and accused of attempting to meet a 13 year old girl and streamed on Facebook, so MUST be guilty!!!) However a friend recommended that I eat little and often, toast and honey and eggs were my go to, lots of water, and take a vitamin supplement. Lots of rest too. Best advice was only talk to people and do things that help you, be selfish, kindly turn people away if they make you feel uncomfortable or bad in any way. You are in survival mode. Fight or flight. I actually think the partners have it much worse, as we did not know it was coming or likely to come, my partner felt relief at his behaviour being exposed as he said he felt that he was being controlled by the internet and the bad people on it who, he says, trap and manipulate you into seeing and saying things??!!
He has had a psychological evaluation which shows he is not attracted to underage, which is some relief. He is having therapy and has a good solicitor. He has to live away whether I want him to or not, because of vigilantes. This means I am carrying the worries of home, friends and family whilst he is away licking his wounds. I find I am resenting him more and more as time goes on.
it is so sad to see so many people going this 'club'. This is such a rising 'crime' and the authorities are not able to deal with the volume in a timely manner. The porn industry should be made to pay for the mess that they create......
love and hugs to you all. You will be amazed at how strong you are. Something just kicks in, we will all survive this xx
I recognise so much of the early days in these posts. Yes eat tiny bits of anything you can, even a few mouthfuls are important especially if you're pregnant. I found an app called Calm helped me sleep, you listen to it as you go to sleep. I found our GP was lovely very kind and understanding. He gave me sleeping tablets in the first week when I was really struggling.
It's a long road and you need strength, so taking care of yourself matters.
Sending everyone positive thoughts today x x
It's a long road and you need strength, so taking care of yourself matters.
Sending everyone positive thoughts today x x
Lost123, I've ordered the books you recomend. Thank you! The Dali Lama books are good too, recommended by Tutleymutley.
I was 6 months pregnant when the 'knock' came too. I was literally forcing food down cause I knew I had to. It is hard but you need to keep eating and keep your fluids up. Try little and often. I found porridge or toast most tolerable. As for sleeping, just sleep when you can. Get to the doctors and get signed off work if you need to and take care of yourself and your children.
I'm thinking of you sweetheart xx
I'm thinking of you sweetheart xx
Hi
we are two years since this started come June. Our son is in prison at the moment.
i have not had one full nights sleep since this started. I also have not eaten one full Melal from the moment it started. My life now is so different. I do not eat meals. I pick off family's plates.
Myweight the week before this started was 15 stone 3 pounds. I know this because I was on a diet and had been weighed the week before. My weight yesterday is six stone nine pound. Eating and sleeping are a thing of the past for me now. I've tried everything, and I mean everything to sort it with no luck. X
we are two years since this started come June. Our son is in prison at the moment.
i have not had one full nights sleep since this started. I also have not eaten one full Melal from the moment it started. My life now is so different. I do not eat meals. I pick off family's plates.
Myweight the week before this started was 15 stone 3 pounds. I know this because I was on a diet and had been weighed the week before. My weight yesterday is six stone nine pound. Eating and sleeping are a thing of the past for me now. I've tried everything, and I mean everything to sort it with no luck. X
Hope everyone’s as well as can be expected, and Thankyou for the replies to my post.
Just trying to breathe and eat and drink ( managing mouthfuls of food at mo) I’ve been told by my ex that there is more that I need to be aware of so I can ‘prepare’ This was said at around 8:30pm, it is now 1:33am
I have heard nothing. I just wanna this nightmare to end. I don’t know what I’m going to be hit with next. I’ve told my ex he needs
to tell the police.
My dad will be arriving tomorrow so I’m not alone and to help with my son. I’m still in shock, but the anger at what he has done and what he is putting me through is starting to come. That’s preferable to the heartbreak, I hope it gets stronger.
X
Just trying to breathe and eat and drink ( managing mouthfuls of food at mo) I’ve been told by my ex that there is more that I need to be aware of so I can ‘prepare’ This was said at around 8:30pm, it is now 1:33am
I have heard nothing. I just wanna this nightmare to end. I don’t know what I’m going to be hit with next. I’ve told my ex he needs
to tell the police.
My dad will be arriving tomorrow so I’m not alone and to help with my son. I’m still in shock, but the anger at what he has done and what he is putting me through is starting to come. That’s preferable to the heartbreak, I hope it gets stronger.
X