How to support siblings of offender
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Hi
looking for any advice, we got the knock last week and 38 yr old son arrested. Obviously I am devastated he has admitted everything porn addiction back to his teens and lots of collecting images. I am just about holding on but am very worried about his 16 yr old brother. He is so so angry and rightly disgusted. Unfortunately his brother was bailed to here otherwise is would have been bailed to homelessness. He can't understand how I can even bear to talk to him and says he never will again.
Does anyone have any advise for supporting siblings, particularly teenage ones in their very valid feelings. There was no abuse in person and no suspicion of same. Thanks
looking for any advice, we got the knock last week and 38 yr old son arrested. Obviously I am devastated he has admitted everything porn addiction back to his teens and lots of collecting images. I am just about holding on but am very worried about his 16 yr old brother. He is so so angry and rightly disgusted. Unfortunately his brother was bailed to here otherwise is would have been bailed to homelessness. He can't understand how I can even bear to talk to him and says he never will again.
Does anyone have any advise for supporting siblings, particularly teenage ones in their very valid feelings. There was no abuse in person and no suspicion of same. Thanks
Hi and much empathy sent to you from a mum who has a son around your son's age and other children (daughters both adults so not teens). I find the most difficult thing to navigate is our girls feelings about their brother. They know he was in an extremely damaging marriage so accept that played a part but also they think they know they would never ever do what he has done (offences almost identical to your son). It is 'the elephant in the room' quite often when we have Facetime conversations with them (they both live overseas) and our son just doesn't know how to approach them and neither do we really. The only advice I can give is to let your teen feel his feelings as they are valid but also try to steer him towards remembering that his brother is still the person he always was alongside this offending. Time can be a great balancer but the burden on you will be heavy and I hope you have someone to talk to. It is very early days for you - we are just approaching sentencing after 3 years and although things are still fragile our daughters are accepting that maybe their brother is still who they believed him to be despite his offences. Perhaps it would help your teen to talk to someone at Lucy Faithfull? Anyway, a big empathetic hug sent your way.
PS You might get some other replies if you repost on the 'General Discussion' thread as your situation will be all too familiar for many of us.
PS You might get some other replies if you repost on the 'General Discussion' thread as your situation will be all too familiar for many of us.