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Feel so torn

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Suz45

Member since
February 2020

3 posts

Posted Sat February 15, 2020 9:41amReport post

Hi first time I have posted, so 18 months ago my brother and elderly dad got the knock at the door by plain clothes police, Items taken to be analysis. He was taken in for voluntary questioning to which he said he has told them everything. He lost his job as a coach driver due to the investigation. He managed to secure a job and has been open with the boss.

Fast forward 18 months my brother was asked to attend a second voluntary interview and has been told they have found Cat A,B,C on his devices and even though a virus was found to have downloaded 2000 images he will be charged once it comes back from the CPS so another wait has started.

I hate what he has done but I'm so scared he will take his own life as he is so scared of the prospect of prison. My poor dad (80) is beside himself with worry as he lives with my brother and so does my poorly mum. I have no idea how we are going to keep the payments up on his house so my parents have somewhere to stay if he is sentenced. I dred to think this gets out and fear the repercussions . SS are involved as by son has contact and loves his uncle, my so is autistic so he doesn't know or would understand. I feel I'm trying to hold everyone up but I'm crumbling.

Ann P

Member since
February 2020

169 posts

Posted Sat February 15, 2020 10:14amReport post

Hi Suz45

I feel for you. Why is it always us trying to hold things together? Try not to think too far ahead. These things happen slowly, there's a chance he won't go to prison. In the meantime I would suggest your brother tries to save some money while he's still working and if your mum and dad have even a little bit they can put away that would help provide a cushion if the worst happens and naybe give you a bit of breathing space.

Look after yourself x

Suz45

Member since
February 2020

3 posts

Posted Sat February 15, 2020 10:52amReport post

Thank you Ann P.

My mind runs wild especially since it's been so long from when it started . His solicitor has told him his facing a custodial sentence ( wish he hadnt) . I'm scared on so many levels for my brother even though his an adult and made a choice his so immature in certain ways he would be eaten alive in a prison. He had surgery many years ago for a cancer scare which has left him without much of a penis so showering using mens toilets would be torture for him. My parents are elderly and this has destroyed them but his their son so I understand they will always be there for him. He had everything in life ok not money but his damaged that for now. My little boy is autistic so life is hard enough but to try and explain he cant now stay at their house or even have days out with his uncle is just unbearable. I'm terrified it gets in the press and my friends find out , I'm desperate to talk to a close friend but I'm just to scared of the reaction and losing her. My husband has been great but is so laid back ( just see what happens) makes my anxiety worse. I'm a nurse so I'm also anxious if my colleagues find out ????. God this is just unbearable and I just cant rationalise things, I'm running a 1000 miles an hour . I'm so glad I found this forum so I can get it all out of me as I know so many will understand and not judge.