My OH agreed I could have full disclosure - this meant that I could speak to the solicitor and see all the evidence.

However the conversation which he was initially arrested for (with a decoy) was not transcribed, nor was it read out in court. He pleaded guilty so it didn't go to trial, so perhaps it would have been included if that had been the case. The only info about that conversation that was given was that they 'discussed her sexual experiences'.

There were 2 other very short conversations which were read out in court (literally a couple of lines each) but I had seen these already so it wasn't a shock.

Good luck xxx

My daughter never got disclosure from her husband.

It's been 19 weeks of hell and still she knows nothing.

Hopefully now the divorce has started she will find out as they have kids together and it'll need to be supervised contact for 2 years

Hey Bkn,

I m sorry you re in this situation too.

I got full disclosure from my person and his solicitor forwarded me pre-sentencing report and case summary. In these I found many quotes from the communication and I guess they would pick up to highlight those that give an impression of the nature of the talk and probably the most obscene. However it s not a full transcript. Some very nasty remarks my person made that where read out in Magistrate Court for example did not appear in any of the documents.

I m still hoping to maybe see the full communication in the messenger but I m not sure if that is possible or of police will somehow delete all these whatsapp and facebook chats.



I hope you can get some disclosure and that it will bring you some peace of mind.



Sending you my best wishes

Hey for the people who got full disclosure how did you go about that please was it just a case of your other half emailing the solicitors and telling them i feel for my own sanity I need to see the evidence for myself so I can start healing and dealing with it many thanks ????

My OH had to sign a statement (hand written by the solicitor in our very first meeting) that I could have full disclosure. We were also advised that he could withdraw that permission at any time.

For me it was a necessary step in helping and supporting him - how could I have done that if I was constantly wondering and worrrying about what I was not being told? It was one of my conditions for staying with him.



Yes, it was incredibly hard to hear the truth about what he had said to these young girls - it sickened me to hear to be honest - but I needed to know, to help me heal - otherwise I would have gone mad. But I'm so glad I knew all this before those conversations were read out in court.

Thankyou so much lostinthewoods I know the information won't be pleasant to read/see but I dont like been kept in the dark and I over think everything so I would need to know he did say I could go with him when he goes to see his solicitor he went but nothing was back only his charge paper which he got the previous week i have asked for full disclosure from him as I would rather see the full extent that im dealing with before/if it goes to court hes speaking to them again on the 3rd hes due in court on the 10th nov we have 3 children together so im shielding them from all of this until the matter maybe taken out of my hands can i just also ask was you invited to the solicitors or was you sent the stuff over please ? I feel if I don't do this i will forever be wondering i need to see it so I can start and heal and be the best I possibly can be

I've never seen any evidence. 2 decoys, just heard what was read out in court at sentencing. I was refused any information I asked for. Still continuing to refuse sharing any further information now, eg, SS risk assessment etc

User 5000 - the police won't necessarily tell you anything - it was the solicitor who shared the information with me on my OH's say so. Even with the signed declaration confirming full disclosure, the solicitor still checked with him before I spoke to him. The police didn't tell me anything x

And it's down to your person to tell his solicitor if he wants you to have that disclosure - without that they won't tell you anything xx

Kels - I attended every solicitor appt with him - jeez I even found the solicitor for him as he seemed to lose the ability to cope with anything for a time!

Once the solicitor had the charges we had a telephone conversation in which he told me the charges and the evidence (transcripts).

Oddly though, these were not brought up in the plea or sentencing - I can only assume that ages couldn't be confirmed. He was only charged with attempted communication (decoy) and that conversation was NOT read out.

@Lostinthewoods im so overwhelmed with everything he was due to answer bail on the 19th October but a couple of weeks previous to that he was called and asked to go to the station he was charged that night ive not seen the paperwork because he says he doesn't understand it (mind in overdrive at whats on it) he rang his solicitor who said they had received the stuff from the police so he went on the 19th as was already off work he was back before me and said the solicitor didn't have the paperwork only the charges but he says there is no mention of any pictures with any categories on it so the solicitor couldn't advise I don't know what's the truth anymore so many questions ???? the biggest one is why but that seems pretty normal x

I would ask your partner to show you the charge sheet. It will state what he is being charged with, ie, making, possessing, communucation, and whether still images or videos, what categories, and how many. He knows what he has been charged with so don't let him fob you off!

I agree with 6789 in that your person will know what the charges are, even if he doesn't understand them. Ask to see the charge sheet.

Remember a lot of men in this position are still in denial, even when it gets to court etc. they struggle to admit what they've done. Has your person sought any help in the form of counselling or the courses that are available? If not I would strongly recommend it. They helped my OH no end.

Thanks you 2 that was my gut feeling that it would be on the sheet hes not shown me the sheet he said he didn't understand it so would go through it with me when hes seen them i know there is 6 charges but I only know 5 he says the 2 are interlinked into the other charges hes told me what the charges are but then it's making me over think what else is on this charge sheet I did say to him what about the pictures/videos he said they hadn't been categorised and it doesn't say on the charge sheet neither so if it doesn't say on there why would he be going through it with the solicitor ? I think he does know and you have confirmed it would be on the sheet so i rang him this morning and he told me he didnt know hes not looked at the sheet ? So ive decided to not let him back in the house until i am fully aware of the charges no hes not had any help through this at all hes not a talker hes only done the first bit of work when ss got involved not helping himself at all

Kels - I'm sorry he's not being open with you - when this happened to us and I had had time to take stock of the situation I sat my OH down and told him that if he wanted my support he had to show that he wanted to sort himself out - he engaged with counselling after I made him call the helpline - he did the Safer lives course, and I also did a course arranged through LFF - it helped me understand addiction and helped me to help him.

It's been a long hard journey but I'm glad he did as asked and that I stuck at it too.

You need to do what's right for you - if my OH had refused help I wouldn't be with him today

Xx

@Lostinthewoods please can i message you directly ?

Of course x