At a crossroads
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Hello,
We got the knock back in July 2024, devices have yet to be processed and the police are as useful as ever with no updates. It's apparently been marked as priority but still nothing further.
We briefly split after everything that happened and I chose to go back with him but lately, I've been feeling more and more like I shouldn't have come back. Granted, he has been to counselling and I do see real change in his behaviour and his communication with me but I just feel like things aren't the same anymore. On top of getting the knock last year, I found inappropriate pictures of his ex on his computer that he's kept all this time and he's lied to me and manipulated me for a long while. I love him dearly but I see him so differently now, like he's a different person.
He has definitely changed for the better but I'm just not there anymore.
We don't have any kids together but we have a house and joint assets as well as 2 dogs and I think the fear of leaving and having nothing and starting all over again as made me paralysed. I don't have any family to stay with because of everything that happened and I don't even know how I would leave.
Those of you that chose to leave, I could do with some advice and help on where to even begin.
We got the knock back in July 2024, devices have yet to be processed and the police are as useful as ever with no updates. It's apparently been marked as priority but still nothing further.
We briefly split after everything that happened and I chose to go back with him but lately, I've been feeling more and more like I shouldn't have come back. Granted, he has been to counselling and I do see real change in his behaviour and his communication with me but I just feel like things aren't the same anymore. On top of getting the knock last year, I found inappropriate pictures of his ex on his computer that he's kept all this time and he's lied to me and manipulated me for a long while. I love him dearly but I see him so differently now, like he's a different person.
He has definitely changed for the better but I'm just not there anymore.
We don't have any kids together but we have a house and joint assets as well as 2 dogs and I think the fear of leaving and having nothing and starting all over again as made me paralysed. I don't have any family to stay with because of everything that happened and I don't even know how I would leave.
Those of you that chose to leave, I could do with some advice and help on where to even begin.
Hi,
The fact you say he's lied & manipulated you for a long time are really concerning behaviours. Is it possible you are trauma bonded to him?
Honestly, and please believe me. You can start over again & be happy. It can seem like the scariest thing in the world, but the freedom & peace that comes with not having someone lying & manipulating you 24/7 is amazing.
Can you squirrel away a bit of money each month? Or alternatively contact your local council?
There is hope x
The fact you say he's lied & manipulated you for a long time are really concerning behaviours. Is it possible you are trauma bonded to him?
Honestly, and please believe me. You can start over again & be happy. It can seem like the scariest thing in the world, but the freedom & peace that comes with not having someone lying & manipulating you 24/7 is amazing.
Can you squirrel away a bit of money each month? Or alternatively contact your local council?
There is hope x
It's very possible I guess, we have been through a lot together but I feel like I definitely can't trust him either. We've been through a lot but none of it has really helped or healed anything in me.
I have a little nest egg that I could use to try and find my own place, he will also have to buy me out of the house or sell it as well so there's that too but I just don't even know where to begin or how to. X
I have a little nest egg that I could use to try and find my own place, he will also have to buy me out of the house or sell it as well so there's that too but I just don't even know where to begin or how to. X