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Hello, I am new to this forum, but desperate for some support/advice.
My 17 year old son has had an accusation made against him of being sent pictures which resulted in his phone being taken by police. This was 3 months ago and we have heard nothing since. As far as we know there is not currently any investigation and he has no restrictions.
Having an allegation sitting over him and rumours spreading around is impacting us all so much - his schooling, his friendships, his job etc. We are now so scared this will ruin his next step at university. Does anyone know how long can things usually take and what safeguarding should be put in place?
It is a complex matter, as my son himself is a victim of online grooming since the age of 11 and victim of other sexual assaults and is currently being treated through CAMHS and diagnosis for PTSD due to his history of abuse.
it is so hard not to be able to defend him in a very misunderstood situation and is making it impossible to enjoy life just now.
My 17 year old son has had an accusation made against him of being sent pictures which resulted in his phone being taken by police. This was 3 months ago and we have heard nothing since. As far as we know there is not currently any investigation and he has no restrictions.
Having an allegation sitting over him and rumours spreading around is impacting us all so much - his schooling, his friendships, his job etc. We are now so scared this will ruin his next step at university. Does anyone know how long can things usually take and what safeguarding should be put in place?
It is a complex matter, as my son himself is a victim of online grooming since the age of 11 and victim of other sexual assaults and is currently being treated through CAMHS and diagnosis for PTSD due to his history of abuse.
it is so hard not to be able to defend him in a very misunderstood situation and is making it impossible to enjoy life just now.
Hi starbucks2025
my son is 17. He was accused of sending/receiving photos on Snapchat of other teens. He was arrested in august and bailed. We went back in November and was retailed till February. He turns 18 in January! Our solicitor advised not to give passwords and tge police are struggling to access his phone. They've done a partial extraction. We are pretty sure there aren't any photos anywhere. The only place there maybe some are on his Snapchat but he blocked everyone he shared photos with (but didn't delete any saved in chat photos before hand)
We worked with SS who are happy with us as a family and really happy with my son and said they believe he's very low risk of re offending. They closed the case. College have been great. He's doing really well. He's applied to uni and because he's just under investigation we didn't have to say anything. College have said they will give him a really good reference if needed but don't see why getting accepted would be an issue. Time wise I have no clue I've read stories of things happening very quickly and others taking years.
Did you give passwords to the devices? Have the police interviewed your son?
mine if our social workers said that someone she works with was on the sor for 7 years and still got accepted to uni and is now a social worker, so we're keeping that in our minds. I don't think the justice system or the education system want to stop young people getting an education and bettering themselves. We're just " carrying on as normal" until we have any developments and if there's any convictions we will speak to the uni at that point.
I can't believe we are in this situation I just want to fast forward a few years when this is all just a horrid memory in the past! Xx
my son is 17. He was accused of sending/receiving photos on Snapchat of other teens. He was arrested in august and bailed. We went back in November and was retailed till February. He turns 18 in January! Our solicitor advised not to give passwords and tge police are struggling to access his phone. They've done a partial extraction. We are pretty sure there aren't any photos anywhere. The only place there maybe some are on his Snapchat but he blocked everyone he shared photos with (but didn't delete any saved in chat photos before hand)
We worked with SS who are happy with us as a family and really happy with my son and said they believe he's very low risk of re offending. They closed the case. College have been great. He's doing really well. He's applied to uni and because he's just under investigation we didn't have to say anything. College have said they will give him a really good reference if needed but don't see why getting accepted would be an issue. Time wise I have no clue I've read stories of things happening very quickly and others taking years.
Did you give passwords to the devices? Have the police interviewed your son?
mine if our social workers said that someone she works with was on the sor for 7 years and still got accepted to uni and is now a social worker, so we're keeping that in our minds. I don't think the justice system or the education system want to stop young people getting an education and bettering themselves. We're just " carrying on as normal" until we have any developments and if there's any convictions we will speak to the uni at that point.
I can't believe we are in this situation I just want to fast forward a few years when this is all just a horrid memory in the past! Xx
Hi Tilly20web,
thanks for your reply.
We are really unhappy with how it was all dealt with. My son is at a school about 100miles away from home, where he stays during the week. he turned up on at school on the Monday and the police came and took his phone at school and asked him for his passcode. He was blindsided and didn't know his rights and handed his phone and passcode over. We were not contacted until after they had taken his phone. They left him with no money for lunches or train ticket home as he just uses Apple Pay and electronic train tickets, but nobody checked he had means to the week. He has never been arrested, charged or interviewed by police. SS were involved, and as like you, have closed their case. My son will turn up 18 in March, so I really would like to have him interview before then, if he is going to be.
thanks for your reply.
We are really unhappy with how it was all dealt with. My son is at a school about 100miles away from home, where he stays during the week. he turned up on at school on the Monday and the police came and took his phone at school and asked him for his passcode. He was blindsided and didn't know his rights and handed his phone and passcode over. We were not contacted until after they had taken his phone. They left him with no money for lunches or train ticket home as he just uses Apple Pay and electronic train tickets, but nobody checked he had means to the week. He has never been arrested, charged or interviewed by police. SS were involved, and as like you, have closed their case. My son will turn up 18 in March, so I really would like to have him interview before then, if he is going to be.
That's just awful! At least when the police arrested my son they didn't demand passcodes! Our solicitor said under no circumstances give the passcodes as it's self incriminating! I was at work when they phoned me. They told me to get to the station asap then left me waiting three hours not knowing why he was there!
Is your son on bail? When I mentioned to the detective that my son turns 18 in January he was like tough! If he goes to court the judge will take his age at the time of the crime into consideration when charging! But it's the safety of the juvenile court no media etc that I was more concerned about. We've had to accept that he will be 18 when he returns to answer his bail in February! The police having the passcodes will speed your case up. Weve considered giving them several times but our solicitor keeps advising us not to! If they can't access the phone they can't get evidence, and we know they are struggling. They may crack it eventually I guess but for now I'm praying that the trusty iPhone stands up to the testing!
Hoping you and your son are ok, it's so horrific but we all will get through it! Xx
Is your son on bail? When I mentioned to the detective that my son turns 18 in January he was like tough! If he goes to court the judge will take his age at the time of the crime into consideration when charging! But it's the safety of the juvenile court no media etc that I was more concerned about. We've had to accept that he will be 18 when he returns to answer his bail in February! The police having the passcodes will speed your case up. Weve considered giving them several times but our solicitor keeps advising us not to! If they can't access the phone they can't get evidence, and we know they are struggling. They may crack it eventually I guess but for now I'm praying that the trusty iPhone stands up to the testing!
Hoping you and your son are ok, it's so horrific but we all will get through it! Xx
Hi,
No, my son is not on bail, never been arrested regards it. We have had zero contact from police at all since 16-Sept when they called us to inform that they had seized his phone and passcode. He had to call them the next day to find out what allegation was, or I think we would still be non the wiser now as to what it was! It was a campus police officer at the school and I think they might have just acted after another pupil had spoken to them. I am wandering if it is down to back log or anything to do with not following correct procedures when taking the device, as he is under 18?
I emailed SS again yesterday, as my son has just found out he has been accepted to university next year and we don't know whether to mention anything. They emailed back and confirmed that as it stands just now there is nothing to tell, as he is not guilty of anything and has no criminal record.
it is just horrible having this sitting over him and us all not being able to relax and enjoy things.
No, my son is not on bail, never been arrested regards it. We have had zero contact from police at all since 16-Sept when they called us to inform that they had seized his phone and passcode. He had to call them the next day to find out what allegation was, or I think we would still be non the wiser now as to what it was! It was a campus police officer at the school and I think they might have just acted after another pupil had spoken to them. I am wandering if it is down to back log or anything to do with not following correct procedures when taking the device, as he is under 18?
I emailed SS again yesterday, as my son has just found out he has been accepted to university next year and we don't know whether to mention anything. They emailed back and confirmed that as it stands just now there is nothing to tell, as he is not guilty of anything and has no criminal record.
it is just horrible having this sitting over him and us all not being able to relax and enjoy things.
My son was just turned 16 on day of arrest that was end July 2024 and he wasn't cleared until end of October 2025 when devices report all came back clear. We have received 2 devices back tablet and phone and today have made a complaint to the police because the xbox was delayed release without being told why and 5 weeks its not been returned. Starting to think its been lost or broken.
Starbucks2025
yes we've been told to not say anything to unis as there's no charges no convictions, at the moment they are just under investigation. We were also told it depends on what course your applying for wether a dbs check is required ie nursing, teaching, medical etc. some unis ask to declare any convictions some don't. The issue can be if they want to stay in uni halls, but they can request to stay in an all male apartment instead of mixed. My sons terrified no uni will have him, he's started to get his offers through. I keep saying there will be loads of students at uni that have gone through this or going through it and he certainly won't be the last!
I find it so strange how some people are arrested and bailed and others are just left dangling like you and your son. At least we know when we are next due to see the police and get an update and probably rebailed! Although it was horrific being in that interview room. Our solicitor told my son just just say no comment to everything, tge questions they were asking were horrific and not even relevant to my sons case. It was just surreal.
let's hope everything works out ok for our sons they get to uni and all this ends up just being a nightmare from the past xx
yes we've been told to not say anything to unis as there's no charges no convictions, at the moment they are just under investigation. We were also told it depends on what course your applying for wether a dbs check is required ie nursing, teaching, medical etc. some unis ask to declare any convictions some don't. The issue can be if they want to stay in uni halls, but they can request to stay in an all male apartment instead of mixed. My sons terrified no uni will have him, he's started to get his offers through. I keep saying there will be loads of students at uni that have gone through this or going through it and he certainly won't be the last!
I find it so strange how some people are arrested and bailed and others are just left dangling like you and your son. At least we know when we are next due to see the police and get an update and probably rebailed! Although it was horrific being in that interview room. Our solicitor told my son just just say no comment to everything, tge questions they were asking were horrific and not even relevant to my sons case. It was just surreal.
let's hope everything works out ok for our sons they get to uni and all this ends up just being a nightmare from the past xx
Hi a justcopingparent
had your son handed passwords and codes over for his devices or did they get sent away to forensics?
had your son handed passwords and codes over for his devices or did they get sent away to forensics?
Hi Starbucks 2025,
My heart goes out to you.
I can identify with you. My son was 19 when we got the knock. He was away in college a 4 hour drive away when the police called to our house. They went through his room and removed a load of stuff.
They had to go to where he was staying for college, it took a week before they did that, they had to get another search warrant. It is very difficult when they are far away like that. Keep talking to your son.
It is a long road and nobody knows what the outcome will be. If possible your son has to try and keep going focusing on his future. You wil have moments of utter despair but you will have normal times as well. Christmas is a difficult time of year for everyone.
I will be thinking of you and remember you are not alone.
My heart goes out to you.
I can identify with you. My son was 19 when we got the knock. He was away in college a 4 hour drive away when the police called to our house. They went through his room and removed a load of stuff.
They had to go to where he was staying for college, it took a week before they did that, they had to get another search warrant. It is very difficult when they are far away like that. Keep talking to your son.
It is a long road and nobody knows what the outcome will be. If possible your son has to try and keep going focusing on his future. You wil have moments of utter despair but you will have normal times as well. Christmas is a difficult time of year for everyone.
I will be thinking of you and remember you are not alone.
Hi Tilly20web
I can't remember if he gave them passcodes or not. His devices were sent straight off. I'm thinking not because they just took the items from his bedroom. There were no prechecks like some have. The OIC said in this case that wasn't done but never explained why.
I can't remember if he gave them passcodes or not. His devices were sent straight off. I'm thinking not because they just took the items from his bedroom. There were no prechecks like some have. The OIC said in this case that wasn't done but never explained why.
Hope you and your family are holding up ok.
the whole process does not take into account the effect time has on their mind.
For us the whole process has taken two years almost to the day. There have been fudge ups on the way by the police and court.
I just want to put the whole situation in the rear view mirror and move on now something that my person is very much so struggling with as they feel they don't deserve to be here.
my one piece of advice is get a proper solicitor not the free ones, that's what we had and although my person isn't in prison their mind is. At the second round of questioning the solicitor was in fact a young bit of fluff paralegal on her leggings and didn't give much advice at all. It's only from reading other people's situation that I've learned the free solicitors are not always great.
let's hope there is something done about this process so it isn't dragged out over years as it's so damaging. My person has isolated themself, stopped education and withdrawn generally from life. It's going to take a lot of work to get them back and make them realise that life is worth living.
I wish you luck on your journey and hope you're able to take proper legal advice.
the whole process does not take into account the effect time has on their mind.
For us the whole process has taken two years almost to the day. There have been fudge ups on the way by the police and court.
I just want to put the whole situation in the rear view mirror and move on now something that my person is very much so struggling with as they feel they don't deserve to be here.
my one piece of advice is get a proper solicitor not the free ones, that's what we had and although my person isn't in prison their mind is. At the second round of questioning the solicitor was in fact a young bit of fluff paralegal on her leggings and didn't give much advice at all. It's only from reading other people's situation that I've learned the free solicitors are not always great.
let's hope there is something done about this process so it isn't dragged out over years as it's so damaging. My person has isolated themself, stopped education and withdrawn generally from life. It's going to take a lot of work to get them back and make them realise that life is worth living.
I wish you luck on your journey and hope you're able to take proper legal advice.