I really need advice!!!
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My fiance has just left prison after a year. He will be on licence for another year- SOR /SHPO for 9 more years.
he has always been open and honest about his offence. We have known each other over 20 years but been together for 3 years.
we have a home together- which we own outright.
he is currently in an AP.
i have 3 children who do not live with me but I have them every other weekend- not at our home (if he returns).
his probation worker has been problematic throughout- with unclear information, going off for 5 months and not giving us any info or any way to challenge oysis report which was factually incorrect and focused only on negatives. Left out important info. We have a solicitor who has been quite useless (i have had to do everything) in challenging these.
he has a licence which is fairly standard although 2 days after he came out the probation officer added extra conditoons which are not written in.
he has now said my partner cannot return to our home if I am here and we cannot spend overnight together. Again the latter has not been given in writing. So now I am facing being homeless/ sofa surfing as that is better than my partner spending god knows how long in hostels etc where he faces being attacked etc due to his offence.
his offence was not contact.
he had a huge amount of images and videos and a manual which can be proven he had not accessed. He has has i have said always been honest.
the social worker we have had the past year has not done any risk assessments/ visits/ safeguarding assessments etc which she said she woulr have done months ago.
i am nothing to do with his offence bar standing by him and helping him rehabilitate. I have at times been argumentative when I have had to stand my ground when they are telling complete lies about me or him. Such as saying I claimed he was no danger to my children- which I only said once because he was in prison and I stated that was why he was no danger at that time.
the social worker is combative and so is the probation worker/ they claimed they would work with LFF but have not.
i dont see why I have to be effectively homeless because they have not done risk assessments or put things in place which show my children do not come to our home.
Please someone help. Im desperate.
p.s he has done inform and so have I for families. We have done every course ever asked for.
he has always been open and honest about his offence. We have known each other over 20 years but been together for 3 years.
we have a home together- which we own outright.
he is currently in an AP.
i have 3 children who do not live with me but I have them every other weekend- not at our home (if he returns).
his probation worker has been problematic throughout- with unclear information, going off for 5 months and not giving us any info or any way to challenge oysis report which was factually incorrect and focused only on negatives. Left out important info. We have a solicitor who has been quite useless (i have had to do everything) in challenging these.
he has a licence which is fairly standard although 2 days after he came out the probation officer added extra conditoons which are not written in.
he has now said my partner cannot return to our home if I am here and we cannot spend overnight together. Again the latter has not been given in writing. So now I am facing being homeless/ sofa surfing as that is better than my partner spending god knows how long in hostels etc where he faces being attacked etc due to his offence.
his offence was not contact.
he had a huge amount of images and videos and a manual which can be proven he had not accessed. He has has i have said always been honest.
the social worker we have had the past year has not done any risk assessments/ visits/ safeguarding assessments etc which she said she woulr have done months ago.
i am nothing to do with his offence bar standing by him and helping him rehabilitate. I have at times been argumentative when I have had to stand my ground when they are telling complete lies about me or him. Such as saying I claimed he was no danger to my children- which I only said once because he was in prison and I stated that was why he was no danger at that time.
the social worker is combative and so is the probation worker/ they claimed they would work with LFF but have not.
i dont see why I have to be effectively homeless because they have not done risk assessments or put things in place which show my children do not come to our home.
Please someone help. Im desperate.
p.s he has done inform and so have I for families. We have done every course ever asked for.
Have you got a plan about where the children will go when you have them if they can't come to your house?
Hi,
what reason has probation given for him not returning home when your children aren't there? Did you already have things in place for the days that you have your children? A few things that stood out as possible issues with ss and probation are;
po may not have built up a relationship with your OH due to being off sick but you also mentioned a solicitor (what is this for), it may come across as being difficult and not working with probation and ss.
You own a house outright but have only been together for 3 years and he's been in prison. Did you buy the house while he was awaiting sentencing? What point in the legal process was he at when you started a relationship?
From a safeguarding standpoint being financially, emotionally or practically dependent on your OH leaves you and your children vulnerable. I wouldn't push the fact that you will have to sofa surf or be homeless because that will fuel how much you're willing to sacrifice for him. Whilst I do understand that you want him out of a potentially dangerous situation you have to put the needs of yourself and your children first.
Are ss involved because you want him to have contact with the children or were they involved prior to this? It feels like there are real concerns from ss about your children's safety when in your care and they need to be satisfied that you would stick to any plan given. You mentioned courses, which ones have you completed? xxx
what reason has probation given for him not returning home when your children aren't there? Did you already have things in place for the days that you have your children? A few things that stood out as possible issues with ss and probation are;
po may not have built up a relationship with your OH due to being off sick but you also mentioned a solicitor (what is this for), it may come across as being difficult and not working with probation and ss.
You own a house outright but have only been together for 3 years and he's been in prison. Did you buy the house while he was awaiting sentencing? What point in the legal process was he at when you started a relationship?
From a safeguarding standpoint being financially, emotionally or practically dependent on your OH leaves you and your children vulnerable. I wouldn't push the fact that you will have to sofa surf or be homeless because that will fuel how much you're willing to sacrifice for him. Whilst I do understand that you want him out of a potentially dangerous situation you have to put the needs of yourself and your children first.
Are ss involved because you want him to have contact with the children or were they involved prior to this? It feels like there are real concerns from ss about your children's safety when in your care and they need to be satisfied that you would stick to any plan given. You mentioned courses, which ones have you completed? xxx
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I'll be honest - this all feels very hard on your children. As it is they only spend every other weekend with you, and when you're sofa surfing they won't have a proper base to spend time with you at all for an indefinite amount of time. Whats your longterm plan?