Not fair!
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Just needing to vent.
After the knock I asked my hubs to leave. 5 months ago.
I allowed him to say it was down to his mental health making it too difficult to be together for the sake of the kids (young adults)
I have told no one the truth and can't talk to the kids about how I'm feeling as it wouldn't be fair on them.
Due to this, everyone in our circle is being very supportive of him. They are rallying round to help him.
I've not had the same level of support. admittedly I've kept folk at arms length mostly because I hate the prevarication I need to do, it makes me feel uncomfortable and dishonest.
I keep thinking how different it would be if they knew the truth.
It's making what is a hard time getting my head around and organising our first Christmas apart in 29 years even more difficult. Having to have more interaction with him recently to plan is hard emotionally too.
I feel it's even more hardship and stress for something I haven't done.
It's not fair but it is what it is, telling the truth would hurt the kids and cause more suffering for more people.
I know it's extra hard for many of us and I hope everyone gets some joy over the holidays.
hugs to everyone dealing with this shitty situation x
After the knock I asked my hubs to leave. 5 months ago.
I allowed him to say it was down to his mental health making it too difficult to be together for the sake of the kids (young adults)
I have told no one the truth and can't talk to the kids about how I'm feeling as it wouldn't be fair on them.
Due to this, everyone in our circle is being very supportive of him. They are rallying round to help him.
I've not had the same level of support. admittedly I've kept folk at arms length mostly because I hate the prevarication I need to do, it makes me feel uncomfortable and dishonest.
I keep thinking how different it would be if they knew the truth.
It's making what is a hard time getting my head around and organising our first Christmas apart in 29 years even more difficult. Having to have more interaction with him recently to plan is hard emotionally too.
I feel it's even more hardship and stress for something I haven't done.
It's not fair but it is what it is, telling the truth would hurt the kids and cause more suffering for more people.
I know it's extra hard for many of us and I hope everyone gets some joy over the holidays.
hugs to everyone dealing with this shitty situation x
It's so hard and feels so much falls on the partner, especially when kids are involved.
Im so sorry you're going through this and I know what you mean about keeping people at arm's length- have you told anyone or have anyone you could be honest with just for you and your peace of mind? This is such a hard thing to carry on your own.
Im so sorry you're going through this and I know what you mean about keeping people at arm's length- have you told anyone or have anyone you could be honest with just for you and your peace of mind? This is such a hard thing to carry on your own.
I've told my close family as the stress of mai raining a "normal" cover story on top of everything else was making me really unwell with stress and anxiety.
One of my close people I confided in said they wish I'd come to them sooner and to remember....you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. I understand protecting your (assuming now adult) children from the harsh truth but it shouldn't be at detriment to your own mental health.
Its a horrible place to be in; I hope you do have someone who can support you and help make you feel a little less alone.
One of my close people I confided in said they wish I'd come to them sooner and to remember....you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. I understand protecting your (assuming now adult) children from the harsh truth but it shouldn't be at detriment to your own mental health.
Its a horrible place to be in; I hope you do have someone who can support you and help make you feel a little less alone.
One of the reasons I ended my marriage was all the lies I was having to tell. It felt like my head would explode.
Now I am quite open about what went on. My friends all know. I kept a few things back from his Mum but that was more to protect and shield her rather than for myself.
It all came out in the media but in some ways it was a relief. Talking to a counsellor helped - at first I was sceptical - but it was one of the best things I did.
Now I am quite open about what went on. My friends all know. I kept a few things back from his Mum but that was more to protect and shield her rather than for myself.
It all came out in the media but in some ways it was a relief. Talking to a counsellor helped - at first I was sceptical - but it was one of the best things I did.