Rating Offences
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I know that offences naturally have different severity. That said, online offending still destroys lives. I spoke to my brother after his sentencing hearing and he told me that LFF had said that his offence was a 2/10. Frankly, I don't believe LFF would say that. He was caught in a sting. He believed he was speaking to a minor and over the course of a week engaged in sexual conversations, even discussing meeting up. To me this is an extremely serious offence and the judge agreed. He narrowly avoided a custodial sentence yet still feels hard done by.
i want to work with him and ensure he engages fully. He hasn't shown appropriate remorse which bothers me and I hope that part of the programme he now has to attend includes victim impact statements.
To me, LFF rating offences and saying his was a 2/10 rings false and is a major red flag so I was wondering if anyone knew more.
i want to work with him and ensure he engages fully. He hasn't shown appropriate remorse which bothers me and I hope that part of the programme he now has to attend includes victim impact statements.
To me, LFF rating offences and saying his was a 2/10 rings false and is a major red flag so I was wondering if anyone knew more.
Dear BigSis, and other forum users,
Thank you for sharing your concerns. We just want to reassure you that we take all forms of sexual offending seriously - whether it happens online or offline. The harm caused by online sexual behaviour, including viewing indecent images or engaging in sexual communication with minors, is very real and significant.
The Stop It Now Helpline would never rate an offence out of 10 or minimise any kind of sexual offending. Our approach is always to acknowledge the seriousness of the offence while offering non-judgmental support to help individuals take responsibility and make positive changes. This includes helping people understand the impact of their actions and providing practical steps to prevent further harm.
You mentioned your brother doesn’t seem to show appropriate remorse, which can be very upsetting. This is quite common and often happens because people minimise their behaviour to avoid shame or guilt, convince themselves that online offending is “not real” or less harmful, or feel fearful about admitting the seriousness due to possible consequences.
None of these reasons excuse the behaviour but understanding them can help explain why someone might struggle to express remorse initially. With the right support and intervention, these attitudes can change over time.
If you’d like to talk more about this or get advice on supporting your brother while protecting yourself, please reach out to the helpline on 0808 1000 900 or visit stopitnow.org.uk. We’re here for both those affected and those seeking help to change.
Kind regards,
The Forum Team
Thank you for sharing your concerns. We just want to reassure you that we take all forms of sexual offending seriously - whether it happens online or offline. The harm caused by online sexual behaviour, including viewing indecent images or engaging in sexual communication with minors, is very real and significant.
The Stop It Now Helpline would never rate an offence out of 10 or minimise any kind of sexual offending. Our approach is always to acknowledge the seriousness of the offence while offering non-judgmental support to help individuals take responsibility and make positive changes. This includes helping people understand the impact of their actions and providing practical steps to prevent further harm.
You mentioned your brother doesn’t seem to show appropriate remorse, which can be very upsetting. This is quite common and often happens because people minimise their behaviour to avoid shame or guilt, convince themselves that online offending is “not real” or less harmful, or feel fearful about admitting the seriousness due to possible consequences.
None of these reasons excuse the behaviour but understanding them can help explain why someone might struggle to express remorse initially. With the right support and intervention, these attitudes can change over time.
If you’d like to talk more about this or get advice on supporting your brother while protecting yourself, please reach out to the helpline on 0808 1000 900 or visit stopitnow.org.uk. We’re here for both those affected and those seeking help to change.
Kind regards,
The Forum Team
Thank you. That's what I thought. It's so incredibly frustrating when the offender believes they are the victim.
I just hope that his court ordered course gets through to him. I can't remember what it was called. That my daughter, his niece, is the same age as the victim (officer sting) just bewilders me. He doesn't get out much and is disconnected from reality but he knows a real life example of someone that age.
I 've done what I can for now. The dust needs to settle and I'll see how he progresses. I live far away from him so it's difficult but to see how easily he lies to my face makes it all the harder.
I just hope that his court ordered course gets through to him. I can't remember what it was called. That my daughter, his niece, is the same age as the victim (officer sting) just bewilders me. He doesn't get out much and is disconnected from reality but he knows a real life example of someone that age.
I 've done what I can for now. The dust needs to settle and I'll see how he progresses. I live far away from him so it's difficult but to see how easily he lies to my face makes it all the harder.