how do I carry on?
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I guess my story is a bit different to all those I’ve already read.. I’ll try to keep it short..
firstly my husband is American and while we were away last year he had a call to say his home had been raided and all computer equipment taken. (We weren’t married at this point and he lived with a flat mate) I was none the wiser and was sat by the pool enjoying myself.. he was in the hotel room and I received an odd text, so I went to check on him and found him hanging in the wardrobe. I got him down and then spent the remainder of the holiday in the room too scared to leave him.
He told me what he had done and I’ve never seen him so sorry or remorseful for his actions. He was broken. The police wanted him to return to the UK but he was persuaded by his mum to return to the states. Which he did. He never came home. I truly believe he went down the rabbit hole due to a porn addiction and lost his way (he had gone through some trauma himself just before it all started). I’m not excusing his behaviour at all, I’m repulsed. But I do believe in second chances. He contacted solicitors when in the states and told them that he would return for interview now that he had dealt with the initial shock. But the police told him not to and that they would contact him once they had finished their investigation.
In the meantime, as we were already engaged, he divorced his ex wife as she’s always been making things difficult for him over here and to get divorced in the states in easier. I flew over to the states and we were married. I didn’t take my son. She then found out about our marriage and informed the police who then set social services onto me.. they spoke to his school and myself and they then closed the contact. We always had plans to work with social services and work out a plan that we could be a family again on his return.
Now fast forward to this week and the police have asked him to come back to the UK for an interview.. but after conversations between his lawyers and the police it turns out that they will arrest him at the airport and hold him in remand until sentencing. The lawyer said this is because his ex wife has now made complaints to the police saying he’s a danger to her and their son as well as me and my son!! He’s scared that they’re now going to try and make an example of him. His lawyer has also told him that it’s instant deportation if he’s given a sentence. I feel like my life is over.. that other people will decide if I can ever see my husband again! He is willing to accept his punishment and make amends for all of it.. but we really believed that although it would be a hard road and we would have to jump through hoops with social services, that eventually we could be a family again.
Now it’s looking like that won’t ever happen.. my son asks to see him every day and I do not know how I’m meant to carry on without him. I worry for his mental health, for mine, my hairs fallen out, it’s effecting my son. I just don’t know what to do anymore.. I always had hope, I was keeping the both of us going but now I feel that all the hope had gone, and I’m struggling.
Why does a mistake have to ruin the rest of our life’s.. it doesn’t seem fair.
firstly my husband is American and while we were away last year he had a call to say his home had been raided and all computer equipment taken. (We weren’t married at this point and he lived with a flat mate) I was none the wiser and was sat by the pool enjoying myself.. he was in the hotel room and I received an odd text, so I went to check on him and found him hanging in the wardrobe. I got him down and then spent the remainder of the holiday in the room too scared to leave him.
He told me what he had done and I’ve never seen him so sorry or remorseful for his actions. He was broken. The police wanted him to return to the UK but he was persuaded by his mum to return to the states. Which he did. He never came home. I truly believe he went down the rabbit hole due to a porn addiction and lost his way (he had gone through some trauma himself just before it all started). I’m not excusing his behaviour at all, I’m repulsed. But I do believe in second chances. He contacted solicitors when in the states and told them that he would return for interview now that he had dealt with the initial shock. But the police told him not to and that they would contact him once they had finished their investigation.
In the meantime, as we were already engaged, he divorced his ex wife as she’s always been making things difficult for him over here and to get divorced in the states in easier. I flew over to the states and we were married. I didn’t take my son. She then found out about our marriage and informed the police who then set social services onto me.. they spoke to his school and myself and they then closed the contact. We always had plans to work with social services and work out a plan that we could be a family again on his return.
Now fast forward to this week and the police have asked him to come back to the UK for an interview.. but after conversations between his lawyers and the police it turns out that they will arrest him at the airport and hold him in remand until sentencing. The lawyer said this is because his ex wife has now made complaints to the police saying he’s a danger to her and their son as well as me and my son!! He’s scared that they’re now going to try and make an example of him. His lawyer has also told him that it’s instant deportation if he’s given a sentence. I feel like my life is over.. that other people will decide if I can ever see my husband again! He is willing to accept his punishment and make amends for all of it.. but we really believed that although it would be a hard road and we would have to jump through hoops with social services, that eventually we could be a family again.
Now it’s looking like that won’t ever happen.. my son asks to see him every day and I do not know how I’m meant to carry on without him. I worry for his mental health, for mine, my hairs fallen out, it’s effecting my son. I just don’t know what to do anymore.. I always had hope, I was keeping the both of us going but now I feel that all the hope had gone, and I’m struggling.
Why does a mistake have to ruin the rest of our life’s.. it doesn’t seem fair.
Hi Stetson
So sorry to read your post and the issues u are going through.
Please phone the help line they can offer great advice and listen to your story.
I hope you get some help, it's a long journey as for the threats of being remanded in prison this action is very rare unless he had committed a contact offence or seen as an imminent danger to the public at large.
Best wishes...
So sorry to read your post and the issues u are going through.
Please phone the help line they can offer great advice and listen to your story.
I hope you get some help, it's a long journey as for the threats of being remanded in prison this action is very rare unless he had committed a contact offence or seen as an imminent danger to the public at large.
Best wishes...