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It is was it is as they say

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Daisy564

Member since
July 2025

20 posts

Anyone else at the point where we have worried ourselves sick, grieved for what was and is full of dread for what's to come - has now come to the conclusion 'it is what it is' .I don't think I have anything left to give the situation.

No amount of me making myself unwell (it certainly has impacted my physical and mental health) through anxiety is going to change any pathway in this journey, and let's be honest what is to come (if anything) was written in the stars (probably wrong word) long before even the knock in July. Even media worries are out of my hands.

OIC has been in touch this week, Sons device has been outsourced so hopefully will know more soon, and Son has also long awaitedly had the diagnosis of ASD after assessment which I'm glad of after knowing for so long that he has massively struggled with life in general.

Hoping you can all try and have a good Christmas - I'm going to try too xx Hugs xx

Posted Fri December 19, 2025 9:52amReport post

rainyday52

Member since
April 2023

614 posts

That is so true and well done for hanging onto that. I think it's common in people like us once we stop fighting our thoughts and anxieties because we have absolutely no control in anything at all.

For myself post sentencing (something I longed to say and here I am) that same thought gave me such peace temporarily, and when something else came along and the fears etc returned they were as strong in the moment but they faded back into the 'it is what it is' mode quite quickly.

I'm sure a psychiatrist would have a word for it but what I do know is that however anyone reading this is feeling right now, even if it's that they will never get through it - yes you jolly well will. It won't be easy but we do survive. I'm not a partner, I'm a mum of an offender so i know it's different. But if anyone needs a bit of mothering in all this my PMs are open xxx

Posted Fri December 19, 2025 6:09pm
Edited Fri December 19, 2025 6:10pmReport post

Tilly20Web

Member since
November 2025

23 posts

Hi Daisy

I'm so up and down. Some days I'm it is what it is and other days I feel like my whole world is ending! We will be 6 months in when my son goes back to answer bail in February. They did a partial extraction of his phone. Found nothing. The detective said he'd spoke to forensic company but then went of about getting a RIPA to force my son to give passwords. He really scared us and we agreed to give the passwords. He said he'd email our solicitor and we could send them via him. Phoned the solicitor a week later who didn't know what I was on about. But he did say he'd seen the detective whilst he was at the police station, he'd told our solicitor he was thinking of getting a RIPA!! So what happened to the email for us send the passwords, who knows! Our solicitor said tge detective doesn't have a clue what he's doing, not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing! That was begging of November weve not heard anything since!
I just can't wait for this to end! Big hugs

Posted Fri December 19, 2025 9:42pmReport post

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