Someone please help me
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I recently found out my father was arrested for iioc. It's all happened so fast... he took an OD (he already has a terminal disease). Currently still in hospital.
On arrest he apparently admitted to everything. But I don't have any idea of the level or extreme, just that this has been going on years.
I have no idea of process or what to expect. My first emotion was pure rage, I wanted the relief and finality of his passing immediately. Who hopes for their dad to die when loving him a day before? I just can't put this all together. I know I need to face him, but tha rage will crumble and I'm more comfortable with feeling this burning anger then anything like sympathy or pain.
I cannot see a way past any of this. I'm rethinking every point of our lives. I'm frightened of everything and everyone, I want to scream, I want to fight but there is this intangible nothingness to hit.
I don't know where to start, or how to face this.
I can't believe that I am here writing this.
On arrest he apparently admitted to everything. But I don't have any idea of the level or extreme, just that this has been going on years.
I have no idea of process or what to expect. My first emotion was pure rage, I wanted the relief and finality of his passing immediately. Who hopes for their dad to die when loving him a day before? I just can't put this all together. I know I need to face him, but tha rage will crumble and I'm more comfortable with feeling this burning anger then anything like sympathy or pain.
I cannot see a way past any of this. I'm rethinking every point of our lives. I'm frightened of everything and everyone, I want to scream, I want to fight but there is this intangible nothingness to hit.
I don't know where to start, or how to face this.
I can't believe that I am here writing this.
So sorry to hear your story - this is an intense and horrifying time. Try and take things slowly, if you need to stay in anger, that's your body protecting you.
like so many of us, you want answers and feeling like you've been in the dark about someone for a lifetime is impossible to comprehend.
dont feel like you have to make any decisions on anything now, you don't have to forgive or make permanent decisions about anything. You don't have to meet him and hear from him if you don't want to. I haven't used the helpline here but I've heard they're incredibly helpful.
i didn't want your plea to go unanswered, so I hope you know this is a space for you.
like so many of us, you want answers and feeling like you've been in the dark about someone for a lifetime is impossible to comprehend.
dont feel like you have to make any decisions on anything now, you don't have to forgive or make permanent decisions about anything. You don't have to meet him and hear from him if you don't want to. I haven't used the helpline here but I've heard they're incredibly helpful.
i didn't want your plea to go unanswered, so I hope you know this is a space for you.
Thank you for responding.
For a while I have felt on borrowed time due to his condition. After the OD and still critical I feel I have even less time.
I'm not even sure if he will see me, let alone talk about this. I didn't think I would be able to muster the courage to try, yet here I am...
I just can't comprehend any of this. It's like being hit by train.
For a while I have felt on borrowed time due to his condition. After the OD and still critical I feel I have even less time.
I'm not even sure if he will see me, let alone talk about this. I didn't think I would be able to muster the courage to try, yet here I am...
I just can't comprehend any of this. It's like being hit by train.
What about awful shock for you, it is so much to process. Please keep talking, we are all here to support each other x
Yes it is all so shocking, horrifying, and crazy-making. We hear you. The shock and rage will go on for awhile, they are very normal responses, but very very tough. Can u call Samaritans for extra support I wonder?
I completely understand how you feel. It's been 12 days since my father was arrested for possession. I am in complete shock. My father is someone I have always admired and respected, and I have always been proud of him. He is the protector of the family. My parents have been together over 50 years. I am sad, confused, angry, disgusted. I just joined this forum today, hopefully, I will get more insight as I read through posts and ressources.
Stillwater, there with you.
Trying to function normally to maintain my little family unit is so hard. I'm desperately trying to give them a lovely Christmas but they know their mum, all my emotions are written on my face.
Dad was always difficult, but always our everything. I was walking round Asda trying to get the food shop done today and I couldn't help but look at every man no matter what age in a different light. I don't think I will ever trust anyone fully again, you know if dad can do this then basically anyone can...
I'ved cried less today. I managed Asda with only a brief anxiety attack. I'm proud of myself that I managed to play some board games with my youngest, didn't think I'd ever be able to do that 2 days ago.
Small steps are the ones keeping me going xxx
Trying to function normally to maintain my little family unit is so hard. I'm desperately trying to give them a lovely Christmas but they know their mum, all my emotions are written on my face.
Dad was always difficult, but always our everything. I was walking round Asda trying to get the food shop done today and I couldn't help but look at every man no matter what age in a different light. I don't think I will ever trust anyone fully again, you know if dad can do this then basically anyone can...
I'ved cried less today. I managed Asda with only a brief anxiety attack. I'm proud of myself that I managed to play some board games with my youngest, didn't think I'd ever be able to do that 2 days ago.
Small steps are the ones keeping me going xxx