Difficult Family Member
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My husband has now been sentenced to a community order, a huge relief for us both as it's cut down his time on the register by half. It feels like we're out the other side of this whole horrible mess but on the other hand, we're still very early on with people getting their heads around what's happened.
Maybe I'm putting too much faith in what he tells me, but I believe him when he says he made bad choices which led to what happened, and that he truly isn't attracted to young people. I'm having counselling to try to work out my feelings about it all, (as is he), so we're doing everything we can to move forwards.
My biggest problem is my sister is being absolutely vile, it feels like it's bordering on harassment at this point but it's not to us, it's just she'll scream and shout about the case and her opinions to just about anyone who will listen. We live on a small island so news spreads fast, and even though a lot of people are supporting me and my husband, and know she's creating more drama than needs be, it's really making life so much harder for everyone. For example, a comment was made on a local page by an 'anonymous' person about my husbands mother working at a school and how she still sees her son. They don't share a last name so it's not like it's common knowledge or something easily found, it's come from someone who knows and I'm sure it's from my sister as she has that spite.
I don't know what I'm after really, just wish she wasn't making my life harder.
Maybe I'm putting too much faith in what he tells me, but I believe him when he says he made bad choices which led to what happened, and that he truly isn't attracted to young people. I'm having counselling to try to work out my feelings about it all, (as is he), so we're doing everything we can to move forwards.
My biggest problem is my sister is being absolutely vile, it feels like it's bordering on harassment at this point but it's not to us, it's just she'll scream and shout about the case and her opinions to just about anyone who will listen. We live on a small island so news spreads fast, and even though a lot of people are supporting me and my husband, and know she's creating more drama than needs be, it's really making life so much harder for everyone. For example, a comment was made on a local page by an 'anonymous' person about my husbands mother working at a school and how she still sees her son. They don't share a last name so it's not like it's common knowledge or something easily found, it's come from someone who knows and I'm sure it's from my sister as she has that spite.
I don't know what I'm after really, just wish she wasn't making my life harder.
I’m really sorry, this is happening to you, it must be an incredibly painful position to be in. Sadly you can't make your sister understand, forgive, or behave differently but you can control how much you allow her to be part of your lives.
Your husband has faced the justice system and is living with the consequences of his actions. That is accountability.
Your sister continuing to shame, judge, or refuse to move forward is not accountability but ongoing punishment which is not helpful to anyone.
It might be worth seeing if there are any mental wellbeing organisations in your local area that could support you in counterbalancing your sister’s voice with ones grounded in compassion and reality.