Family and Friends Forum

Hi

mum dreading Christmas. Our daughter is on her way home from uni as we speak. She doesn't know anything about what's going on with her brother. I'm so looking forward to having her home but it's so much easier to hide all of this when she's away! I feel bad for wanting Christmas to pass in a glad and she's back to uni! No one in our family knows just me and my other half and obviously our son. (His girlfriend knows too!) I've been trying to avoid family and friends and at Christmas I just can't get away with it! Glad your sons back into his football. How old is your son if you don't mind me asking? My son stopped playing end of last season he's 17, I kind of miss standing at the edge of the pitch in all weathers! I hope you and your family manage to have a lovely Christmas. Let's hope 2026 brings our families some good news and better times!!

Our son has a court date at the Sheriff Court (Scotland) after Christmas, he's going to plead guilty. He is so vulnerable due to having a learning disability, many adverse childhood experiences, and is awaiting an autism assessment. He is convinced that he's going to prison, even though he's been told that it's highly unlikely.

We're very grateful for the support that we've received from, the Police, Stop it Now and his solicitors.

Only immediate family know and we feel that we are keeping a big secret.

We are fearful that his case might be reported in the press, but we are determined to have a good Christmas and live "One Day at a Time"

I hope everyone has as much of a peaceful Christmas as possible, I'm not looking forward to it, it is just another day to get through. Thankful that it will all be over in a week (Christmas that is). Sending love to everyone x

Hi all - as Upsetmum says - one day at a time. We are the other side now but remember how Christmas used to bring some respite from the fear of hearing any news (we had the last 3 Christmasses in the limbo of not knowing)

DAd-in-limbo, great that your Son has restarted football. Such a big step forward for him to rejoin his team and have something normal back in his life . Heartbroken and proud at the same time hmmm ...- I totally get what you are feeling. All these polar opposite emotions going on at the same time, no wonder we are all exhausted!

I hope everyone can relax, enjoy Christmas and have some mental respite - hopefully the New Year will be a better one for us all x

It's been 5 days since my father got TK...

Somehow managed to face him, it, everything yesterday when I went to the hospital. Seeing this little bed bound old man laying there, hooked up to machines... I've had to separate what he has done (I still dont know many details just that it's IIOC) with this is my dad. I'm not a monster, I can't turn off that I care and want him to be well. I can't stand to see anyone suffer..

im writing this as I am being a sh1t parent. I'm so in shock I can't focus on functioning, the kids should be so excited for Christmas and I haven't even done the food shop, let alone consider cooking in a couple days. How can I find the strength to lock down my emotions and pretend to be happy?



Solidarity with you all xx

I wish everyone to try and have the best time that they can. I'm spending time with my daughter and her family and her partners family. It's very kind of them to ask me but I feel like the elephant in the room. We all know why I'm there on my own. It's my third Christmas since this all happened and it has got easier but still it's not the same as it used to be. I try not to feel sorry for myself as I do have a lot to be thankful for. Please remember to take care of yourselves. Wishing everyone the best xx

Hi All,

My son was formally charged at the police station today, first court appearance end of January. I guess all our lives are forever defined BTK & ATK (before the knock & after the knock) many lives including my son's irrevocably changed. I'd give anything to turn back time & to have realised how badly he was struggling & desperstely lonely & isolated he was. He has made so much progress since TK including months of ongoing therapy.

When he asked for my help to get therapy during covid, why didnt I listen.

I read everyone's posts avidly to try to see a similar situation to mine but there isn't, I feel quite alone, even on here, with what his solicitor described today as a 'complex case'. I almost wish I could share as other do, the very low amount of images. The thought of media attention this will get is destroying me. Meanwhile carry on with my 'normal' but stressful life looking after my grandchildren.

Sorry for off loading & being depressing.

To all you amazing women out there, I salute you xx

CedarKay7

just wanted to send you a big hug. I too desperately search for "matching cases", I think we all probably do. I'm sure there will be others here with similar experiences to you but they don't post the full details or maybe don't post at all!
Ive sat and thought of times when I should have spotted the signs of my son being bullied. I always told him the group of lads he mainly hung around with weren't his people, that the other group he sometimes associated with were more his people. But I couldn't get him to listen to me, I should have tried harder! My other half blames himself for getting him into computers. As parents were always going to put some of the blame on ourselves!

I wish you a happy Christmas you will get through this and your son too.

Oh how I resonate , we desperately search for situations similar to our own because we search for hope that we can survive our own personal trauma .

wishing all my fellow comrades a peaceful Christmas.

Cedar Key7 - be strong and enter the new year knowing that whatever happens, the limbo period will be drawing to a close - you will find a way to cope. Take things one step at a a time and deal with things as they come along . You are probably stronger than you think !

You will get through it cedarkey. It will be hard, weird, stressful, gutwrenching, a real mixed bag, but you'll get through it. Thinking of you and your son x

I'm sitting in Costa coffee alone crying reading your responses & crying at your support & kindness, thank you. I've just posted a new topic as I was told yesterday my son will 100% go to prison. As soon as I wake up & my brain is in turmoil & the anxiety hits me like a freight train. I quietly dress & drive to my local coffee shop which opens at 6am & I'm there then. If I lie in bed thinking I have very dark thoughts so I'm best off getting up & going out as when I have a coffee & read the paper I have an hour or so relief from my worry.

Christmas was weird because I was away for it without my husband (the person who offended) couldn't even message or video call him. It was WEIRD! But my daughter had fun. She loved having presents and loads of complete strangers to talk to.

Cedar key please call Samaritans