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Does live ever get better does things calm dow

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Poppy2323

Member since
June 2025

60 posts

Ok loved one in court early January do you ever feel happy again and ever get some normality back

Just hoping I get no papers thank you

Posted Tue December 23, 2025 12:43pmReport post

OneStepAtATime

Member since
October 2025

86 posts

Hi, for me the fight or flight feelings started to reduce once we had the result (magistrates court, referred to crown court, which was adjourned once) and once my person was moved to safety. The feelings then changed from panic, to more grief. I do now feel like things are more mundane (which is good!), and yes, I have moments of peace and even happiness. Wishing you the best of luck x

Posted Fri December 26, 2025 8:47pmReport post

FrancesBean

Member since
August 2023

7 posts

I don't think it goes back to normal. I felt I had no choice but to leave him and 3 years on it's still sad. There are no winners. I feel like my life stopped.

Posted Sat December 27, 2025 9:20pmReport post

Poppy2323

Member since
June 2025

60 posts

Do you mind me asking dud your loved one go to prison with it going to crown court xx

Posted Sun December 28, 2025 5:52pmReport post

Tiredsoul

Member since
May 2024

51 posts

I'm several years down the line, I left my children's father and this was the first Christmas I truly enjoyed in 7 years!



will my life ever be the same again? No!
will I ever trust anyone again / allow myself to be hurt again? No!

but you have to accept it for what it is - I'm a single parent and actually I'm doing more than okay, my kids are my focus and I'll make sure they have the best childhood they can despite all of this x

Posted Sun December 28, 2025 8:45pmReport post

OneStepAtATime

Member since
October 2025

86 posts

Hi Poppy,

No, magistrates court said it met the threshold for crown so wouldn't sentence, but then crown gave a suspended sentence however we were fully preparing for prison in case. But it's not a given, it means they can give a longer suspended sentence. All the other stuff applied also - SHPO, SOR, community service, probation

Posted Mon December 29, 2025 8:31amReport post

SadAndWorried

Member since
October 2019

160 posts

Hi poppy,

So my partner was arrested back in 2019, it took 4 years to finally get to court. He was sentence 2 years ago. Get got 2yr suspended sentence which he's just about to finish, 200 hrs community service and a £400 fine.

The waiting was horrendous, the lead up to the court date was horrible.

6 years on and we are still together and he is living back home with me and the kids.

Yes you do feel happy again and yes you do feel normal-ish again. I say normal-ish because it's a new normal but there is absolutely hope!

I hope court goes well.



x

Posted Wed January 7, 2026 7:23amReport post

FrancesBean

Member since
August 2023

7 posts

@SadandWorried what was his conviction? And how do you live a normal life? I left as I didn't see how we could, ie. daughters have friends over/sleepovers etc. I couldn't lie to their parents. Plus my family all hate him now so it would have been very difficult.

Posted Sun January 11, 2026 1:00amReport post

Disbelief

Member since
February 2026

1 post

Hi,

I'm 10 years since the 'knock' and 5 years since leaving my husband. The shock subsides but it takes a long time to come to terms with what he did and for me, my feelings toward hm changed. I stayed until my teenager got through exams ( they weren't in house when the knock happened, they were in another country with Uni) so managed to keep it from them for years until all exams completed.
I am now in a new loving relationship - nearly 2 years - but back needing help with my relationship with my daughter which has deteriorated since I told her what my partner did 5 years ago. She doesn't understand why I stayed for 5 years ( even although I did it to ensure it didn't impact her studying/exams) and as a result her respect for me has deteriorated making our relationship difficult.
Things definitely get better but it does take a long time and everyone's path will be different due to individual circumstances but realise you are stronger than you think. Wishing you well in your journey x

Posted Thu February 5, 2026 6:12amReport post

AnxiousGirl

Member since
December 2023

344 posts

I eventually realised that his offending would n very truly go away. I'm nearly 4 years down the line and this week it has entered my life again as he has been rearrested and it affects members of my close family. Proves that I made the right decision in divorcing him - I don't think a leopard can change it's spots and I have been proved right.

Posted Thu February 12, 2026 7:19pmReport post

Quick exit