I don’t know what to tell people
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My Dad was arrested three days ago.. it's a massive shock and struggling to process everything, it's like my world has been turned upside down, my Dad was a massive part of mine and my children's life, What i'm struggling with today is what to tell people and my children, it's Christmas and there are a lot of questions, i can't lie and feel like i'm just isolating myself from friends and in laws, do people have any advice how you dealt with this.
Its really hard and some people I thought would be compassionate and supportive have turned out to be the opposite. Now I pretty much don't tell anyone.
I have been very fortunate that family and friends that have been told have been very supportive and understanding. It took a little while for some as like I their world was turned upside down. But after a long chat and talking about why they understood.
I think its important before you tell anyone to truly think if theyd be accepting or not because people do unfortunately loose friends and family once told.
My nieces and nephew dont know anything. Because my husband and I live separately due to having a child all theyve been told is we have separated (technically true) but we are working on things. They know mummies and daddies don't always stay together so it was the easiest thing. Mu daughter is too young to understand, she was a baby when he was arrested and this is just her normal. Im semi hoping that she will never have to know. I had always planned to teach her when appropriate to her age about not letting others touch her under her clothes and all of that anyways. I dont feel there is a need to go into because daddy did a bad thing talk.
Have a think what you think would be appropriate for them to know i guess. For us we haven't told the kids as we don't want them to be affected by it. They see my husband just never alone and they've not questioned it so far.
I think its important before you tell anyone to truly think if theyd be accepting or not because people do unfortunately loose friends and family once told.
My nieces and nephew dont know anything. Because my husband and I live separately due to having a child all theyve been told is we have separated (technically true) but we are working on things. They know mummies and daddies don't always stay together so it was the easiest thing. Mu daughter is too young to understand, she was a baby when he was arrested and this is just her normal. Im semi hoping that she will never have to know. I had always planned to teach her when appropriate to her age about not letting others touch her under her clothes and all of that anyways. I dont feel there is a need to go into because daddy did a bad thing talk.
Have a think what you think would be appropriate for them to know i guess. For us we haven't told the kids as we don't want them to be affected by it. They see my husband just never alone and they've not questioned it so far.
My dad got the knock a couple of years ago. Crown court on Monday.
I remember all of the emotions you are feeling right now. It's totally normal and it does get easier.
i encouraged my dad to tell some select family members that live nearby to him, as it would have been difficult to hide from them.
I have chosen to tell no one about other than my husband for 3 reasons. Firstly it's not my story to tell, it's my dad's. And secondly, I don't know how anyone would react to hearing it and I'm not prepared for that fall out. Thirdly, some of the family members my dad told have shared wider. Once one person knows you can't guarantee it won't go further.
my husband and a few select family members knowing means that I feel I have a support network which is important so do find someone you trust who you can confide in.
I remember all of the emotions you are feeling right now. It's totally normal and it does get easier.
i encouraged my dad to tell some select family members that live nearby to him, as it would have been difficult to hide from them.
I have chosen to tell no one about other than my husband for 3 reasons. Firstly it's not my story to tell, it's my dad's. And secondly, I don't know how anyone would react to hearing it and I'm not prepared for that fall out. Thirdly, some of the family members my dad told have shared wider. Once one person knows you can't guarantee it won't go further.
my husband and a few select family members knowing means that I feel I have a support network which is important so do find someone you trust who you can confide in.
I'm like a stuck record on this, but please tell your children the truth in an age appropriate way. Answer any questions as honestly as you can ("I don't know" is a perfectly acceptable answer) and be prepared to give more info as they get older. I speak from childhood eexperience here- things were kept from me growing up with the best of intentions, but it has had a big impact on my ability to trust and my relationship with family members, because I knew something was up. But I also knew it couldn't be broached honestly. Never under-estimate kids!
Sad and scared, what would you suggest telling a 10 and 12 year old?