Decisions to be made
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Hi all
I know you can't answer this one for me but looking for some insight. I have two children with my person age 9 and 12
Back story my person was caught October 2024 by a vigilant group who were pretending to be 12 and 14 he said some inappropriate things and sent a photo of himself. He had also been talking to other women a adult friends , dating ect site (he said the site was for making friends) he talked t alot of women. If some of the conversation went down a sexually route he went with it. He sees this as the same as porn (I don't) he said he was only in the site to stay out his head and not deal with his issue. He was never looking to cheat or look for someone else. It was on this site that he started to talk to the vigilants. Most of the time the chat went to WhatsApp due to the site not been the best. He completely regrets his actions saying he didn't see what he was doing ect and has been getting help since through counselling and did the LFF informplus.
We started to work through things in the start of last year SW were happy with me supervising at the time. He was staying at his mum's. He was sentenced in October 3 years SOR, no contact with under 18 unless approved by justice sw and community payback of I think 280 years. On top of this the justice sw can add extra conditions, he's not allowed a smart phone, any internet access, has to go to the job centre to access emails. Not allowed near the family home or have any contact at present with the kids. He's been posted in the daily mail and groups have posted about his chargers twice since his sentencing.
The month before sentencing we weren't getting on and when family and justice sw came to the house I was honest and said I wasn't sure we're our relationship was. The approaching sentencing and idea of SW been fully in my life got my scared and I didn't know if I could work through the in gsbwith him and the hurt all felt like it was coming back.
Right the real question is how is life going to look like if I decided to work this through and take him back. I do believe this won't happen again he also says he'll do anything to have his family back. I'm also in Scotland so I know there may be some difference from down South
I know you can't answer this one for me but looking for some insight. I have two children with my person age 9 and 12
Back story my person was caught October 2024 by a vigilant group who were pretending to be 12 and 14 he said some inappropriate things and sent a photo of himself. He had also been talking to other women a adult friends , dating ect site (he said the site was for making friends) he talked t alot of women. If some of the conversation went down a sexually route he went with it. He sees this as the same as porn (I don't) he said he was only in the site to stay out his head and not deal with his issue. He was never looking to cheat or look for someone else. It was on this site that he started to talk to the vigilants. Most of the time the chat went to WhatsApp due to the site not been the best. He completely regrets his actions saying he didn't see what he was doing ect and has been getting help since through counselling and did the LFF informplus.
We started to work through things in the start of last year SW were happy with me supervising at the time. He was staying at his mum's. He was sentenced in October 3 years SOR, no contact with under 18 unless approved by justice sw and community payback of I think 280 years. On top of this the justice sw can add extra conditions, he's not allowed a smart phone, any internet access, has to go to the job centre to access emails. Not allowed near the family home or have any contact at present with the kids. He's been posted in the daily mail and groups have posted about his chargers twice since his sentencing.
The month before sentencing we weren't getting on and when family and justice sw came to the house I was honest and said I wasn't sure we're our relationship was. The approaching sentencing and idea of SW been fully in my life got my scared and I didn't know if I could work through the in gsbwith him and the hurt all felt like it was coming back.
Right the real question is how is life going to look like if I decided to work this through and take him back. I do believe this won't happen again he also says he'll do anything to have his family back. I'm also in Scotland so I know there may be some difference from down South
I'm in Scotland but thankfully kids were adults so no SW involvement.
There is no rush to make a decision. It's so hard. Took me nearly a year as there was so much to weigh up.
I feel I made the right decision. Everyones situation is different but this forum is a good sounding board.
Good luck
There is no rush to make a decision. It's so hard. Took me nearly a year as there was so much to weigh up.
I feel I made the right decision. Everyones situation is different but this forum is a good sounding board.
Good luck