New here. I feel so lost and broken
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Hi all. This is my first time posting here. I don't live in the UK but I couldn't find any support groups in my country so here I am. I hope that is ok with the mods.
We got raided in November 2025 and I am in the grieving process. We were just talking about getting married, had just gotten back from an amazing trip overseas, and now this has happened and I feel like my world is crashing. When the police came in and explained what they were here for, I was so sure that they got the wrong address. I was so confident in my partner. But that confidence was for nothing. They took away his PC and phone and now we are in limbo. Everything that I thought I knew about my partner just went out the window. I feel lost, ashamed and betrayed.
He has explained everything to me. And he is very remorseful and is willing to change. I want to help him recover. But it's very hard. My family loves him and had been waiting for us to tie the knot. And now this happens. I'm so fearful of how they will react and what they will do. Especially because my siblings have kids of their own. We don't have any kids of our own which is something that I am very glad about in this moment.
I am Christian. And I have been praying everyday for strength. My partner has also come to the faith which has made me so grateful. Yet at the same time I'm so conflicted. I want to help him. I love him. My faith says I should forgive. But I also want to leave. But if leave what do I have then? I might regret it. We had planned so much together.
I feel so alone. So confused. I can't tell anyone because it's so shameful. It kills me inside whenever I have to go see my family nowadays. Christmas was hard. I smiled the whole day with my family then cried all the way home. I'm doing that a lot these days. Smiling in public and bawling in my car, then smiling when I see my partner at home. It's exhausting. I'm tired. I really want to speak to someone who would understand but I can't because it's so taboo. Especially in my country. Finding a counselor is taking weeks because we have a shortage of them in my area.
I guess my emotions are very raw right now. And I just wanted to vent a bit and feel seen. Thank you to whoever reads this.
We got raided in November 2025 and I am in the grieving process. We were just talking about getting married, had just gotten back from an amazing trip overseas, and now this has happened and I feel like my world is crashing. When the police came in and explained what they were here for, I was so sure that they got the wrong address. I was so confident in my partner. But that confidence was for nothing. They took away his PC and phone and now we are in limbo. Everything that I thought I knew about my partner just went out the window. I feel lost, ashamed and betrayed.
He has explained everything to me. And he is very remorseful and is willing to change. I want to help him recover. But it's very hard. My family loves him and had been waiting for us to tie the knot. And now this happens. I'm so fearful of how they will react and what they will do. Especially because my siblings have kids of their own. We don't have any kids of our own which is something that I am very glad about in this moment.
I am Christian. And I have been praying everyday for strength. My partner has also come to the faith which has made me so grateful. Yet at the same time I'm so conflicted. I want to help him. I love him. My faith says I should forgive. But I also want to leave. But if leave what do I have then? I might regret it. We had planned so much together.
I feel so alone. So confused. I can't tell anyone because it's so shameful. It kills me inside whenever I have to go see my family nowadays. Christmas was hard. I smiled the whole day with my family then cried all the way home. I'm doing that a lot these days. Smiling in public and bawling in my car, then smiling when I see my partner at home. It's exhausting. I'm tired. I really want to speak to someone who would understand but I can't because it's so taboo. Especially in my country. Finding a counselor is taking weeks because we have a shortage of them in my area.
I guess my emotions are very raw right now. And I just wanted to vent a bit and feel seen. Thank you to whoever reads this.
Hello,
I'm in the same boat - police came on the 5th November and we've been in limbo ever since. He's had his phone and laptop removed and he's bailed until Jan. We also have no kids/aren't married but these are things I was hoping for our future.
Please feel free to reach out via message if you like - know that you are not alone through this awful time and sending you hugs xx
I'm in the same boat - police came on the 5th November and we've been in limbo ever since. He's had his phone and laptop removed and he's bailed until Jan. We also have no kids/aren't married but these are things I was hoping for our future.
Please feel free to reach out via message if you like - know that you are not alone through this awful time and sending you hugs xx
Hey ConfusedSoul,
I m very sorry you find yourself here :(
The "journey" for my family has also just started recently so I understand how you feel. I ve been just reading through the other posts so far and that helped me a lot knowing that there are so many other families out there in the same situation.
I keep reading the advice from others that this early it is probably not possible to make an educated decision about your relationship - at least I found this to be true for myself. Feelings keep changing almost hourly and also new information keeps coming up....
I don t know what country you re from but some europeans have similar help programmes, although not so easy accesible I found.
In my home country e.g. there s something called "don t become a predator" where they have support groups for families too
I wish you all the best, you re not alone <3
I m very sorry you find yourself here :(
The "journey" for my family has also just started recently so I understand how you feel. I ve been just reading through the other posts so far and that helped me a lot knowing that there are so many other families out there in the same situation.
I keep reading the advice from others that this early it is probably not possible to make an educated decision about your relationship - at least I found this to be true for myself. Feelings keep changing almost hourly and also new information keeps coming up....
I don t know what country you re from but some europeans have similar help programmes, although not so easy accesible I found.
In my home country e.g. there s something called "don t become a predator" where they have support groups for families too
I wish you all the best, you re not alone <3
You do not need to make any decisions right now, it took me a while to feel secure in my decision because the stress was soo much. Take your time.
What i will say as someone who decided to stay with the offender. Stay because you want to stay and not because of what the backlash might be if you left.
Sending you love and support.
What i will say as someone who decided to stay with the offender. Stay because you want to stay and not because of what the backlash might be if you left.
Sending you love and support.
Hi,
Have been here reading everybody's posts and never gathered courage to pen a few words here that is how bad I am affected by what happened and continue to undergo the stress and trauma every minute. It is good to have this platform but sad that there is a need for such a platform or forum.
Have been here reading everybody's posts and never gathered courage to pen a few words here that is how bad I am affected by what happened and continue to undergo the stress and trauma every minute. It is good to have this platform but sad that there is a need for such a platform or forum.