Character Reference
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Ive been writing a character reference for my husband for court next month, for about 3 weeks now. Im struggling so much with it. Im dyslexic so my brain works against me at every step. I have to put bullet points on things I want in there and its taken about 30 drafts so far to get to something im am semi happy with. Ive had to use AI to add correct grammar as my brains refusing to help me there.
Ive put in about the impact to me and my family. His remorse and the work he has been doing. How this is out of character and why. And about the support network he has as we have been incredibly fortunate to have a large amount of people who know everything and are wanting to support us. Is there anything ive missed. My brain keeps screaming ive missed something and its not good enough but is refusing to say what or how to fix it right now. Its beyond annoying but I know its because im stressed about writing ao formally for the first time in like 14 years and this is soo important so my brain does its usually and goes nope shut down.
Ive put in about the impact to me and my family. His remorse and the work he has been doing. How this is out of character and why. And about the support network he has as we have been incredibly fortunate to have a large amount of people who know everything and are wanting to support us. Is there anything ive missed. My brain keeps screaming ive missed something and its not good enough but is refusing to say what or how to fix it right now. Its beyond annoying but I know its because im stressed about writing ao formally for the first time in like 14 years and this is soo important so my brain does its usually and goes nope shut down.
I can imagine how much you want to get this right but are finding it hard, but don't give up - for us providing these references made a big difference, we believe.
Have you tried copy and pasting what you have already into Chatgpt and ask if it's appropriate, anything else you could add, anything that might not be a good idea to include and any other suggestions.... plus it can make it warmer, more official sounding etc. - whatever you like. The more info you feel comfortable about providing the better the final result but you can keep things as brief or anonymous as you prefer (but don't use identifying info like names etc as you can add those personally for the judge's copy.) You sound as if you've used AI to check grammar etc but it can do so much more and - no judgment!!!!
Just a couple of tips - make sure you are clear that you're not trying to excuse the offending, just providing some context AND print a paper copy to take with you as our son's judge hadn't receive the references on his court portal so the barrister was able to pass over the paper copies.
All the best and good luck xxx
Have you tried copy and pasting what you have already into Chatgpt and ask if it's appropriate, anything else you could add, anything that might not be a good idea to include and any other suggestions.... plus it can make it warmer, more official sounding etc. - whatever you like. The more info you feel comfortable about providing the better the final result but you can keep things as brief or anonymous as you prefer (but don't use identifying info like names etc as you can add those personally for the judge's copy.) You sound as if you've used AI to check grammar etc but it can do so much more and - no judgment!!!!
Just a couple of tips - make sure you are clear that you're not trying to excuse the offending, just providing some context AND print a paper copy to take with you as our son's judge hadn't receive the references on his court portal so the barrister was able to pass over the paper copies.
All the best and good luck xxx
Hi thanks for your comment. Ive really tried hard to focus on not trying to minimalise what he has done or to not condone (i think thats the right word) his actions or shift blame. There are mitigating circumstances but ive not gone into that as I dont see it as appropriate as im sure it would come across as trying to minimalise his choices or give excuses when its just the why journy to why he did his actions and thats something im sure his therapist could highlight or lawyer.
The end hope is that he either gets a community order or a suspended sentence. If they choose to make it so he still have to be supervised i do hope theyll make an exception for his children. Then we can work with SS for them to be happy for us to move back together. Which at the moment theyre not even if the court says yes we can.
The end hope is that he either gets a community order or a suspended sentence. If they choose to make it so he still have to be supervised i do hope theyll make an exception for his children. Then we can work with SS for them to be happy for us to move back together. Which at the moment theyre not even if the court says yes we can.
It really is relevant to mention mitigating circumstances as long as it's written as context and not excuses. That's where chatgpt can really help by giving you appropriate words etc to use. I'm guessing he has met with a probation officer for a pre-sentence report? He or she should have included this mitigation in their report as long as your person has spoken to them about it so you would only be emphasising that whatever it was had actually happened or if he had kept quiet to the PO then your reference to it (if phrased carefully of course) would be helpful for the judge.
There is a real push for judges to consider sentences in the community rather than custodial at the moment, and as long as the sentence is below 2 years, including any mitigation and reduction for a guilty plea, our son's barrister said that for him it was highly likely - and he was right - but I know nothing is guaranteed so fingers crossed for you.
Lastly - although we do think the references made a big difference in terms of the judge understanding the bigger picture, they are actually only a small part of the whole thing and I definitely went into the world of over thinking it all. The sentencing only took about 30 mins and when I think of the hours spent preparing for it I wish I'd been a bit more chilled! But it's easy for me to say that now we are on the other side so I totally understand how you want to get it right and send you so much empathy and hugs for whatever happens on the day xx
There is a real push for judges to consider sentences in the community rather than custodial at the moment, and as long as the sentence is below 2 years, including any mitigation and reduction for a guilty plea, our son's barrister said that for him it was highly likely - and he was right - but I know nothing is guaranteed so fingers crossed for you.
Lastly - although we do think the references made a big difference in terms of the judge understanding the bigger picture, they are actually only a small part of the whole thing and I definitely went into the world of over thinking it all. The sentencing only took about 30 mins and when I think of the hours spent preparing for it I wish I'd been a bit more chilled! But it's easy for me to say that now we are on the other side so I totally understand how you want to get it right and send you so much empathy and hugs for whatever happens on the day xx
I truly believe that the Judge in my Son's case (Crown Court) had read all the mitigation including various character witness statements including the A4 statement written by myself. The Judge definitely understood my Son and situation he found himself in and in his summing up, directly quoted from my own statement when he referred to our living hell. I was so glad I went against the Solicitors advice !