I don't know what's going to happen
Notifications OFFThis is my first post on here. I'm so sorry for everyone going/who has gone through this awful situation. Sorry for the long rant ahead, I'm struggling a lot with everything going on.
Back in August last year, the police were at the door and arrested my dad on suspicion of possessing indecent content on his devices, but it wasn't a surprise because in early July I was helping a family member look through my dad's work phone after work hours (we were looking through it to check for anything because of things he had on his personal phone over a year ago that was reported to the police but the case was dropped "...as it was over a year ago and they were clothed") and we saw the disgusting things he had on there ourselves which went steps further than before. So, on the next day I called the adult mental health service I'm under and said what we saw on his phone (I rang her as the reason I'm under their care is because of what I previously saw on his phone and the mental health issues it created) and she basically said as well as our own report being made to the police, she'd have to send one too after what I told her was on my dad's work phone. A month later, the police were at the door, my dad was arrested, and the police seized all of his devices. When he came home a few hours later, he said he answers bail in October, but a day before the meeting was supposed to happen, the police extended his bail until January. Then in December, his work suspended him after police contacted them so they could unlock his work devices.
My family and I are worried about how my dad will cope after his meeting at the police station as he's said that he will commit suicide if he is charged at the station or if his case is sent to court. I'm so disgusted, sad and angry with my dad for what he's done, but none of us want him to kill himself. We've told him multiple times to go to the GP to get antidepressants but he always refuses and says that he isn't depressed, how he feels is because of him being under investigation. And he won't ring any helplines that support people under investigation as he thinks by doing that, he's labelling himself as a pedo, which he says he isn't.
Thank you for reading.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
An arrest for IIOC often triggers an intense wave of emotions—shame, guilt, panic, and fear are very common. Many people describe their mind racing through worst-case scenarios, imagining prison, public exposure, or the complete loss of everything familiar. For those who have never had contact with the police before, the criminal justice system can feel utterly alien and overwhelming.
On top of this, there may be fears about losing a home, family relationships, friendships, employment, and social standing. When all of this hits at once, it can feel unbearable, and for some people, thoughts of ending their life can begin to feel like the only way out. If this is happening, it’s important to understand that these thoughts are a response to fear and shock—not proof that there is no future.
Yes, your dad has done something wrong. But what matters now is what he does next. A key step is helping him understand what led him to access IIOC in the first place, and what changes he needs to make to ensure he never makes those choices again. This work is essential—not just for legal reasons, but for the safety of others and for his own long-term wellbeing.
There are organisations that specialise in this area and can offer confidential, non-judgmental support. Stop It Now, Safer Lives, STOPSO, and qualified private therapists (which you can usually find locally) all provide help focused on understanding behaviour, managing risk, and building safer futures. If your dad doesn’t feel able to reach out to professionals right now, Stop It Now also offers free online self-help modules that he can work through privately and at his own pace.
He is not alone in this, even if it feels that way right now. Help exists, and taking steps toward it—however small—can make a real difference.