The end of the road kind of
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So I made some decisions that I wouldn't be picking up mine and other persons relationship after all this was done and dusted. I had a very good feeling social services would still see the risks too high and in all honesty, he wasn't fighting any of it. we barely spoke about the situation. So after the worst year of my life I wasn't going to waste my energy fighting his battles.
He was of the understanding nothing would be found on his devices and that was that. I explained being arrested and put under such horrific bail conditions meant they weren't investigating on a whim, I asked him to get a solicitor and find out what the suspicion was. He claimed to me that the police were basing it on nothing more than conversations had with a woman who was under investigation, so guilty by association. He did absolutely nothing in that year other than sweep everything under the carpet.
Had a call from social services first working day back from xmas and new year, they said they were reading me a statement from the police and that I was hearing this before my person as I needed to be Aware of their stance. Not enough evidence found to bring to trial despite a lengthy investigation and thorough check of devices but that they felt his online activity although not illegal was enough to deem a probability of risk to children.
I'm not naive and understand social services will sometimes put their own words into the mouths of the police as a shock tactic, is it something the police do? give recommendations to someone still not having unsupervised access?
Anyway I made I perfectly clear to him after that conversation that although I care and will always be here for him with the baby, we wouldn't be going back to how things were for many reasons. I explained that supervised access would continue unless he was to approach the situation with ss as it wasn't my battle and I personally do understand their reasons, my trust is at an all time low anyway.
I'm chuffed for him that nothing untoward was found but realistically he must have been accessing something onlinena bit dark, the police don't make total mistakes do they? he certainly wasn't being respectful of me talking to women.
I'm told social services may still want to make an assesment just waiting on the information going off to a manager, what does that normally involve?
right now I'm just trying to protect our peace as much as possible while giving her the best relationship possible with her dad
He was of the understanding nothing would be found on his devices and that was that. I explained being arrested and put under such horrific bail conditions meant they weren't investigating on a whim, I asked him to get a solicitor and find out what the suspicion was. He claimed to me that the police were basing it on nothing more than conversations had with a woman who was under investigation, so guilty by association. He did absolutely nothing in that year other than sweep everything under the carpet.
Had a call from social services first working day back from xmas and new year, they said they were reading me a statement from the police and that I was hearing this before my person as I needed to be Aware of their stance. Not enough evidence found to bring to trial despite a lengthy investigation and thorough check of devices but that they felt his online activity although not illegal was enough to deem a probability of risk to children.
I'm not naive and understand social services will sometimes put their own words into the mouths of the police as a shock tactic, is it something the police do? give recommendations to someone still not having unsupervised access?
Anyway I made I perfectly clear to him after that conversation that although I care and will always be here for him with the baby, we wouldn't be going back to how things were for many reasons. I explained that supervised access would continue unless he was to approach the situation with ss as it wasn't my battle and I personally do understand their reasons, my trust is at an all time low anyway.
I'm chuffed for him that nothing untoward was found but realistically he must have been accessing something onlinena bit dark, the police don't make total mistakes do they? he certainly wasn't being respectful of me talking to women.
I'm told social services may still want to make an assesment just waiting on the information going off to a manager, what does that normally involve?
right now I'm just trying to protect our peace as much as possible while giving her the best relationship possible with her dad
Sounds like you've made a decision that is in the best interests of you and your baby. Like you said, you need peace. And if he hasn't been making the effort to face this head on, why should you?
if he wants unsupervised contact with his child in the future he should be the one fighting for that.
Apparently social services do another check once everything is finalised, so it's probably just that, but from reading on here and my own experience it seems if you separate they understand that YOU have totally understood the risks and are a safe person for your child.
im not sure legally that SS can put conditions in place without the police backing it up, but if you are not unhappy with the conditions then as you say, it's up to him to fight it.
best of luck to you!
if he wants unsupervised contact with his child in the future he should be the one fighting for that.
Apparently social services do another check once everything is finalised, so it's probably just that, but from reading on here and my own experience it seems if you separate they understand that YOU have totally understood the risks and are a safe person for your child.
im not sure legally that SS can put conditions in place without the police backing it up, but if you are not unhappy with the conditions then as you say, it's up to him to fight it.
best of luck to you!
The difference here is that the police have had to admit there is no illegal content found, which is where their responsibility ends but they have a duty to keep social services in the loop, hence what you had read to you. Sounds as if they feel whatever was found was disturbing enough to make them edgy and probably frustrated that they can go no further (cynics might say they are annoyed to have lost the possibility of a conviction for their statistics!)
Social services work differently and the key word is 'risk' rather than 'proof' so they decide on that, which is far more tricky but that is all they need to go down a child protection route, or at least a Children in Need review. That would be my best guess and if your OH makes a big thing about being innocent it will really be a red flag to them.
Peace is a precious commodity in these situations and not many of us achieve it so well done for hanging onto that for now.
Social services work differently and the key word is 'risk' rather than 'proof' so they decide on that, which is far more tricky but that is all they need to go down a child protection route, or at least a Children in Need review. That would be my best guess and if your OH makes a big thing about being innocent it will really be a red flag to them.
Peace is a precious commodity in these situations and not many of us achieve it so well done for hanging onto that for now.