Stopping contact?
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My ex (split 2019) got arrested June 2025, so it's been roughly 7 months. When he told me why he got arrested he said someone had sent him one picture on KIK, it saved automatically on his phone but he deleted it straight away. Later in the conversation he said he wished he'd deleted it straight away instead of waiting 4/5 days. And a while later in the same conversation he said there may be 2/3 other things on his computer..
This made me very weary of what the truth was.. I have later got the full disclosure from SS that he was the one who sent the videos and pictures. 11 cat. a, 1 cat. b and 1 cat. c.
There is so much that has happened since the arrest, and I am more and more disgusted by this person everyday.
When my second SS lady asked him why he did this his answer was "I had a bit of a porn addiction and one thing led to another..." and when asked if he is attracted to children he wouldn't answer her..
Him and his partner has a 1 year old baby, and she is not happy with me supervising these visits, claiming that he is of no risk to children and "would never hurt his kids", but how can you be so sure??? HE made the decision to press save and send on pictures of children! And his answer to why is "one thing led to another"!!!!????
Anyway, I am wanting to stop these visits now because my own mental health isn't coping but also because my sons mental health is taking a hit. Even though if you ask my son about anything regarding this all he just says he's okay and still wants to see his dad (I am very very honest with my son, although he doesn't know the full extent of what his dad has done he is aware that there is a possibility of prison).
I don't know if I'm looking for validation or what, but I am really struggling with all of this. And my SW is very hard to get a hold of and isn't really giving me anything other than "it's all up to you".
All this is really taking a toll on my current relationship, and I don't know if we are going to make it through it.
This made me very weary of what the truth was.. I have later got the full disclosure from SS that he was the one who sent the videos and pictures. 11 cat. a, 1 cat. b and 1 cat. c.
There is so much that has happened since the arrest, and I am more and more disgusted by this person everyday.
When my second SS lady asked him why he did this his answer was "I had a bit of a porn addiction and one thing led to another..." and when asked if he is attracted to children he wouldn't answer her..
Him and his partner has a 1 year old baby, and she is not happy with me supervising these visits, claiming that he is of no risk to children and "would never hurt his kids", but how can you be so sure??? HE made the decision to press save and send on pictures of children! And his answer to why is "one thing led to another"!!!!????
Anyway, I am wanting to stop these visits now because my own mental health isn't coping but also because my sons mental health is taking a hit. Even though if you ask my son about anything regarding this all he just says he's okay and still wants to see his dad (I am very very honest with my son, although he doesn't know the full extent of what his dad has done he is aware that there is a possibility of prison).
I don't know if I'm looking for validation or what, but I am really struggling with all of this. And my SW is very hard to get a hold of and isn't really giving me anything other than "it's all up to you".
All this is really taking a toll on my current relationship, and I don't know if we are going to make it through it.
How old is your son? Regarding contact, my inclination is to be led by your son provided contact is supervised. Mine were 8 and 11 when this kicked off - they're now 11 and 14 - and like you I've told them the truth. They still want to see their father, so we go with that. I supervise him visiting for a day or two (he overnights elsewhere) every two to three weeks. I'm trying to give them the freedom to decide for themselves. I also don't want them to resent me for 'taking their father away', which is I do think is a risk if I ban contact. Its an awful situation to be in. But if your son is old enough at all I think it has to be his decision. How have you reached out for support for him? Don't be afraid to talk to his school - I told both my sons' right at the start and they've been great. Schools really do see it all so won't be shocked.