Before this became a part of your life?
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Before this came into your life, did any of you know someone this had happened to before?
Did anyone know of another woman that had been through this? Did you hear of other mums dealing with the same thing? Any other families that this has affected? Or friends?
What did you think of them? Did you judge them? Did you gossip about them? Did you cut them off? Did you think this would or could ever happen to you?
Did any of you agree with vigilantes or social media comments? Do you still feel that way? Or do you think differently now?
Did you have an idea of what you would do but now it's in your life, you have reacted completely different?
I'm really struggling with the stigma so I thought writing my thoughts here might help.
Did anyone know of another woman that had been through this? Did you hear of other mums dealing with the same thing? Any other families that this has affected? Or friends?
What did you think of them? Did you judge them? Did you gossip about them? Did you cut them off? Did you think this would or could ever happen to you?
Did any of you agree with vigilantes or social media comments? Do you still feel that way? Or do you think differently now?
Did you have an idea of what you would do but now it's in your life, you have reacted completely different?
I'm really struggling with the stigma so I thought writing my thoughts here might help.
Hi, 'this' had never been in my life, not in my wildest dreams. The closest I came to this was watching something on TV like 'How to Catch A P'. Did I judge others negatively, particularly people that 'supported' their family members, honest answer is yes. If you'd told me I would have supported my own son even (as I wholeheartedly am) I would have probably said I wouldn't . Oh to walk in someone else's shoes, life since last March has taught me so, so much.
Regarding media coverage & vigilantes, again I might have had no sympathy & now I think its outrageous that families suffer so much from this. Any first time online offense charges I believe deserve anonymity, the benefit to allow someone to have true remorse, rehabilition & therapy. Particularly anyone with special needs/ASD. Second offences & contact crimes I still have no sympathy for.
We're all in a club we never dreamed we'd be members of.
Regarding media coverage & vigilantes, again I might have had no sympathy & now I think its outrageous that families suffer so much from this. Any first time online offense charges I believe deserve anonymity, the benefit to allow someone to have true remorse, rehabilition & therapy. Particularly anyone with special needs/ASD. Second offences & contact crimes I still have no sympathy for.
We're all in a club we never dreamed we'd be members of.
No I didn't know of things like this I would give anything to have my old life back with my family
Not a broken family I hate that the vigilant groups do the way theirctalk to people is totally out of order totally agree every one desvers a second chance in life and now our lo can't get that so as a family we all have to live in fear
These online decoys have no training we only know what their put in the evidence packs as their call them , when would the police get away with treating people their arrest the cases would be thrown out but yet the CPS take these cases up
I think their should be regulated and rules put in place for the vigilantie groups and no one should come on private property and film people than put them all over Facebook
Not a broken family I hate that the vigilant groups do the way theirctalk to people is totally out of order totally agree every one desvers a second chance in life and now our lo can't get that so as a family we all have to live in fear
These online decoys have no training we only know what their put in the evidence packs as their call them , when would the police get away with treating people their arrest the cases would be thrown out but yet the CPS take these cases up
I think their should be regulated and rules put in place for the vigilantie groups and no one should come on private property and film people than put them all over Facebook
No I hadn't heard of anyone other than high profile cases on the TV and would have bet my life over and over that my family would never be in this position.
I think anonymity should be given to first offences too (online only) especially if special needs/ASD is a factor and totally agree about recurring offences, I would have zero sympathy for that.
What this does to innocent family members is beyond soul destroying and dealing with this as a mother of the person being investigated whilst grieving my terminally ill Dad alongside has been the darkest time of my life, I don't think I will ever fear anything else if I'm honest.
I had seen vigilante stings prior to the knock and I always felt immense empathy for their families and here I am. Sending love to you all, I hope we can all get through this and the sun will shine for us all again xxx
I think anonymity should be given to first offences too (online only) especially if special needs/ASD is a factor and totally agree about recurring offences, I would have zero sympathy for that.
What this does to innocent family members is beyond soul destroying and dealing with this as a mother of the person being investigated whilst grieving my terminally ill Dad alongside has been the darkest time of my life, I don't think I will ever fear anything else if I'm honest.
I had seen vigilante stings prior to the knock and I always felt immense empathy for their families and here I am. Sending love to you all, I hope we can all get through this and the sun will shine for us all again xxx
Sending love back heres to the sun shining for all of us xxx
Cedar - I couldn't agree more with you, total agreement !
For all of us who are anonymous behind our keyboards, this forum is all we have to safely express our thoughts and feelings.
Why do we have no collective voice that can be heard out in the open - it really isn't fair x
For all of us who are anonymous behind our keyboards, this forum is all we have to safely express our thoughts and feelings.
Why do we have no collective voice that can be heard out in the open - it really isn't fair x
Yes, I have had colleagues arrested for online sexual offences prior to my own person's arrest but I didn't know their wives, children or families. I also had a colleague who was given a lengthy prison sentence for a contact offence and colleagues who made no secret of the fact they kept in contact with him and visited him in prison. Whilst I'm sure there was gossip I don't remember ever hearing any judgement about the members of the family or my colleagues who were open about the fact they visited their previous colleague in prison.
Vigilantes I've always despised due to the way they publically expose and the media do whatever they can to gain readers and clicks so will wind the public up to gain these.
Through my experience, I’ve learned to be honest and unapologetic about loving my son and supporting him at every stage of his journey.
Vigilantes I've always despised due to the way they publically expose and the media do whatever they can to gain readers and clicks so will wind the public up to gain these.
Through my experience, I’ve learned to be honest and unapologetic about loving my son and supporting him at every stage of his journey.
A few years ago a very close friend, whom I have known since we were very young, told me that her stepfather had been convicted of IIOC - 30,000 plus - so many they stopped counting, across all categories and ages, both making/possession, and distribution - he had apparently been part of a ring for a very long time - many years.
Of course I was shocked - I had spent many happy sleepovers and holidays with her family growing up, and knew the family well.
After the arrest my friends mother divorced him and my friend cut all contact, as her kids were still teens.
To complicate matters my friend was a serving police officer at the time.
It was her I turned to when my OH was arrested and although I do feel that her profession and her past experience clouded her view somewhat, she still supported me, listened to me, and advised me what to expect.
None of us ever expected to be in this position, and I really feel for those of us who don't have supportive friends or family to turn to.
Im grateful to this forum, for giving all of us somewhere to talk, gain advice and support, or just vent.
Of course I was shocked - I had spent many happy sleepovers and holidays with her family growing up, and knew the family well.
After the arrest my friends mother divorced him and my friend cut all contact, as her kids were still teens.
To complicate matters my friend was a serving police officer at the time.
It was her I turned to when my OH was arrested and although I do feel that her profession and her past experience clouded her view somewhat, she still supported me, listened to me, and advised me what to expect.
None of us ever expected to be in this position, and I really feel for those of us who don't have supportive friends or family to turn to.
Im grateful to this forum, for giving all of us somewhere to talk, gain advice and support, or just vent.
I dont know them, but I know someone who is friends with someone who was convicted of possession of 1 IIOC image over a decade ago now. It wasnt a simple case and im personally suprised they were sent to prison. They live a normal life now but when they were arrested they lost a lot of people in their life.
No I didn't
But since it came out I've had 2 friends disclose that it had happened in their family One was her son who then took his life when he reoffended It has also happened in my son's girlfriends family
Think it is now all around - we just are not aware
But since it came out I've had 2 friends disclose that it had happened in their family One was her son who then took his life when he reoffended It has also happened in my son's girlfriends family
Think it is now all around - we just are not aware
This is 1 of 3 sexual offences that someone in my close family has been accused/convicted of. I can't fully believe that myself. Another has since come to me saying they have also had the knock.
I don't know what I thought of people I heard about before this, I am not one to post stuff on social media or shout at people in the street. I can't view these men as p-words, not when I don't know the full story.
Would I leave them alone with my children? No. But I don't trust anyone with my kids now.
Every article about this is bad but that's what the media want you to read.
All I know is that before all of this I was just a normal person, now I don't feel normal.
I don't know what I thought of people I heard about before this, I am not one to post stuff on social media or shout at people in the street. I can't view these men as p-words, not when I don't know the full story.
Would I leave them alone with my children? No. But I don't trust anyone with my kids now.
Every article about this is bad but that's what the media want you to read.
All I know is that before all of this I was just a normal person, now I don't feel normal.
Hi AlwaysHopeful
You've made a good point. I had never known anyone who has had this happen until it happened to me. I used to see local articles online but only of the perpetrator. Occasionally I'd recognise their face but most often not. As for ghr vigilante groups, I've never agreed with them. Especially when they go to someone's door where innocent people live. They do it for the money and views, that's all.
You've made a good point. I had never known anyone who has had this happen until it happened to me. I used to see local articles online but only of the perpetrator. Occasionally I'd recognise their face but most often not. As for ghr vigilante groups, I've never agreed with them. Especially when they go to someone's door where innocent people live. They do it for the money and views, that's all.
I totally agree with you about the vigilant groups their came my door I was so so scared about 15 of them I live with my oh and our disabled daughter who as severe learning disabilities and autism she was very scared
Even now when the knock comes and we have parcels coming we all get freeked out my other half got plastered all over Facebook
I really don't know how these vigilant decoy groups get away with it if it's legal and legit to do it why don't police do it this way light you up and put you all over Facebook call u a pedio and a nonce because it wouldn't hold up in court if the normal police did it
Theirs no regulation into these people no rules of law set for them to follow what if one of the people their catch has a heart attack are even dies while their doing this would it be murder their get charged with xx
Even now when the knock comes and we have parcels coming we all get freeked out my other half got plastered all over Facebook
I really don't know how these vigilant decoy groups get away with it if it's legal and legit to do it why don't police do it this way light you up and put you all over Facebook call u a pedio and a nonce because it wouldn't hold up in court if the normal police did it
Theirs no regulation into these people no rules of law set for them to follow what if one of the people their catch has a heart attack are even dies while their doing this would it be murder their get charged with xx