Family and Friends Forum

I don’t have any direct experience of unintentional breaches, but I didn’t want to just scroll past your message. I can only imagine how anxious and overwhelming this must feel for you, and it felt important to acknowledge that and to let you know you’re not alone in it.

Being able to supervise contact, and having the hope that your husband may eventually be able to move back home with you, is a huge and meaningful thing to hold on to. At the same time, it’s completely understandable that this hope is mixed with fear — fear that something unexpected or out of your control could hinder progress or prevent that from happening. Living with that constant sense of “what if” is incredibly hard.

You’ve been assessed as a protective parent, and that really is a significant positive. Try to take some reassurance from that. It sounds to me like you have already demonstrated to Social Services that you are able to prioritise your children’s safety and wellbeing. The fact that you are now trusted to supervise contact speaks volumes about that and reflects the care and responsibility you’ve consistently shown.

I also don’t see how your husband could be blamed for a work colleague deleting a message in a work WhatsApp group. He is accountable for his own actions and behaviour, but he cannot reasonably be held responsible for the actions of others. That said, it does sound as though he needs to continue being extra cautious and vigilant — staying mindful of how things could be interpreted and avoiding any situations or conversations that could raise concerns in the future, even unintentionally.

You’re navigating an incredibly complex and emotionally draining situation with a lot of strength. It’s okay to feel scared while still holding on to hope.

The bottom line is that there will always be some level of risk of harm to your children, however small, as a result of your husband’s previous behaviour. Your husband is assessed as being at a medium risk of reoffending, and that assessment alone means there is an ongoing risk of emotional harm to the children. Because of this, social services can never give an absolute guarantee that your children will not be removed from your care. That said, it does appear that they recognise you are taking appropriate steps to safeguard and protect your children, and that this is viewed positively.

Your husband has had two breaches, and although these were not intentional, they indicate a need for him to be particularly cautious, vigilant, and proactive in all aspects of his behaviour. Even the possibility of returning to court presents a risk to your children, as it could result in media coverage. This, in turn, could expose your children to comments or information about their father that they may hear directly or indirectly, which could cause emotional distress.

Social services will therefore be closely monitoring whether you fully understand the seriousness and wider implications of these breaches. They will want to see clear evidence that both of you have reflected on what has happened, learned from it, and made meaningful changes to prevent similar situations from occurring in the future. This includes demonstrating insight into how seemingly minor actions can have significant consequences, not only legally but also for your children’s wellbeing.

Examples of this could be, your husband has now learned that he must retain any old devices unless he receives written confirmation that they have been checked and can be safely disposed of. He has also made the decision to leave his work WhatsApp group, recognising that he cannot control the behaviour or content shared by others within it, and that remaining in the group could expose him to unnecessary risk. Practical steps such as these help to demonstrate that you are both taking the situation seriously, that you are aware of the potential consequences for your children, and that you are actively working to reduce risk and safeguard them moving forward.