Another Charcter Reference Question
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Hi All,
My son's solicitor has now said get the character references to me asap. I haven't started mine yet despite saying I would. Instead of actually writing it I've had weeks of sleepless nights 'writing' it in my head, so it will be helpful for me too to get it down on paper. I've searched 'character reference' on the forum & printed off everything I found helpful, but I still dont know where to start. I'm very emotional & overwrought so I dont know how to keep the reference appropriate & to one page.
Typed or handwritten which is best?
How should my daughter frame the letter for her brother? Can she write her children absolutely adore their uncle or is it a no,no to mention children at all?
Any advice on here or by private message would be greatly appreciated.
Also our solicitor will check them first he said.
My son's solicitor has now said get the character references to me asap. I haven't started mine yet despite saying I would. Instead of actually writing it I've had weeks of sleepless nights 'writing' it in my head, so it will be helpful for me too to get it down on paper. I've searched 'character reference' on the forum & printed off everything I found helpful, but I still dont know where to start. I'm very emotional & overwrought so I dont know how to keep the reference appropriate & to one page.
Typed or handwritten which is best?
How should my daughter frame the letter for her brother? Can she write her children absolutely adore their uncle or is it a no,no to mention children at all?
Any advice on here or by private message would be greatly appreciated.
Also our solicitor will check them first he said.
I remember the anguish trying to write something that would be helpful and not make things worse. Firstly, yes by all means your daughter should say what a great uncle your son has been and how much his nieces love him. My 2 daughters said words to that efffect about their brother in the context of what a great dad he was.
As for what you say, it's OK to say how devastated you were when you discovered what he'd been doing and most importantly stress that you will support him whatever the outcome is.
The 2 things that you musn't do is minimise his offences and tell the judge what their verdict should be, so instead of saying something like 'I'm sure he won't do it again' say how remorseful he is and what he's done since his arrest to understand how he got to this point and wants to continue improving himself. And instead of saying that you hope he won't go to prison (which of course you do!) say that you and the rest of the family will support him whatever the outcome is.
As for the rest, just describe what he was like as a child and growing up, his hobbies, personality etc. It's also OK to mention any difficulties he's had in life as long as it doesn't sound like an excuse so say it's not. For example (what we said about our son) 'although it is absolutely no excuse for offending as he did, his past had some difficulties which he overcame with courage and perseverance'
As a final edit, once you've written something post it into ChatGPT and ask for comments and tweaks for a sentencing reference. Also if you think it's too long or too short ask ChatGPT to embelish a bit, or shorten it. It's not cheating - it's just working on your own thoughts but presenting them in the best way for a judge to read.
Good luck! X
As for what you say, it's OK to say how devastated you were when you discovered what he'd been doing and most importantly stress that you will support him whatever the outcome is.
The 2 things that you musn't do is minimise his offences and tell the judge what their verdict should be, so instead of saying something like 'I'm sure he won't do it again' say how remorseful he is and what he's done since his arrest to understand how he got to this point and wants to continue improving himself. And instead of saying that you hope he won't go to prison (which of course you do!) say that you and the rest of the family will support him whatever the outcome is.
As for the rest, just describe what he was like as a child and growing up, his hobbies, personality etc. It's also OK to mention any difficulties he's had in life as long as it doesn't sound like an excuse so say it's not. For example (what we said about our son) 'although it is absolutely no excuse for offending as he did, his past had some difficulties which he overcame with courage and perseverance'
As a final edit, once you've written something post it into ChatGPT and ask for comments and tweaks for a sentencing reference. Also if you think it's too long or too short ask ChatGPT to embelish a bit, or shorten it. It's not cheating - it's just working on your own thoughts but presenting them in the best way for a judge to read.
Good luck! X
That was so, so helpful, thanks so much.
I'm embarrassed to say I dont know what ChatGPT is you mentioned! Is it an app?
I'm embarrassed to say I dont know what ChatGPT is you mentioned! Is it an app?
Hi again - please don't be embarrassed, I only know because my grandson uses it! It's both an App and a website but basically it's a computer program you can talk to. It answers questions, explains things, and helps with writing, ideas, and problem-solving. And all in a few seconds. It's free too. For something like this, where you just want a framework and guidelines to tweak yourself it's amazingly helpful. It will build on what you ask and suggest the next step for you. You will want to say 'please', 'thank you' and 'sorry to keep bothering you' - or maybe that's just me :)
definately write it into chatgpt - dead easy, google it, create an account - you dont have to but if you do its still there when you come back to it later - and it will rewrite the whole letter perfectly and then give you options on how you can make it better or tailor it specifically for court, social services etc. Its an amazing tool. Good luck.
I too had sleepless nights wondering what to write but used a mixture of what I had sourced from this forum.
I typed it up on the computer and emailed it to his solicitor, but took a copy to court - the solicitor also had copies which was good, as the magistrates hadn't previously read them (my daughter did one too). The solicitor did suggest a couple of changes which I did.
I kept it short (1 side of an A4 page) and to the point - I said who I was and how long I had known my OH.
I gave an outline of his mental health struggles/bullying at work/ill health then went on to explain all he had done to address his problems and how hard he had worked since arrest.
i finished by explaining that he had a good support network at home and would continue to improve with that support (words to that effect). I made it clear that in no way did I condone his behaviour I would continue to support him.
my daughter focussed on what sort of step father he had been to her (from age 10 - she's now in her 30s).
When sentencing, the magistrate did comment on how the references and obvious support were instrumental in his not receiving a suspended sentence, so they really can help.
wishing you all the best xx
I typed it up on the computer and emailed it to his solicitor, but took a copy to court - the solicitor also had copies which was good, as the magistrates hadn't previously read them (my daughter did one too). The solicitor did suggest a couple of changes which I did.
I kept it short (1 side of an A4 page) and to the point - I said who I was and how long I had known my OH.
I gave an outline of his mental health struggles/bullying at work/ill health then went on to explain all he had done to address his problems and how hard he had worked since arrest.
i finished by explaining that he had a good support network at home and would continue to improve with that support (words to that effect). I made it clear that in no way did I condone his behaviour I would continue to support him.
my daughter focussed on what sort of step father he had been to her (from age 10 - she's now in her 30s).
When sentencing, the magistrate did comment on how the references and obvious support were instrumental in his not receiving a suspended sentence, so they really can help.
wishing you all the best xx
Thanks for the explanation, I've never heard of it but it sounds like it will be very helpful. Thanks everyone for the advice & taking the time to help me x
Wow that ChatGPT app is a fantastic resource, thank you.
Should the letter be handwritten?
Should the letter be handwritten?
I typed it up - the solicitor will need to upload it to the court website so that the judge/magistrates gets it along with all the evidence etc. do take a copy with you to court though, or make sure the solicitor has a hard copy - just in case the judge hasn't had time to read it x