Getting them home?
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I'm feeling very very low at the moment and hoping I can hear from some people who have managed to get their partners home- before or after sentencing. Social services have me terrified that we will never live together again. I feel like there's so much judgement for staying too- but he's been honest this whole time and I don't just think but KNOW he wouldn't harm our daughter (communication charge, no images, decoy) - though I know this counts for nothing to SS, in fact they see it as me saying he's done nothing wrong, which I'm not.
Hi just wanted to pop you a reply my oh got to come back home before it went to court but I agreed for him to stay a few nights a week at first coz both of our life's had changed so much and I think SS seen that as a good plan and I didn't want our children been confused if it went to court and it was the worst outcome then after the court he moved bk in full time.
Thanks Prinsess, if you don't mind my asking was his charge IIOC or communication? Was there anything you had to do to get SS to agree to it? Were you on CIN/CPP or just a voluntary safety plan? Sorry for the million questions
I am interested to know people's experiences of this as well. It has been a year since we received the knock, and the ptph hearing is next week and i think he intends to stick with not guilty (he's considering a guily plea because it is destroying us both and we can't afford the solicitors but on the grounds that he accepts responsibility of his actions leading to the images being on his phone but that it was never intentionally or sought out).
I love for him to be able to come home but I'm like you - maybe a couple of just a few nights a week - life has changed so much and I kind of enjoy having the space and time to be alone and it would take time to adjust to having him home full time regardless.
god this is all a mess isn't it?
I love for him to be able to come home but I'm like you - maybe a couple of just a few nights a week - life has changed so much and I kind of enjoy having the space and time to be alone and it would take time to adjust to having him home full time regardless.
god this is all a mess isn't it?
Hi Sadandalone, I'm trying to tell myself that we don't hear the positive stories so much on here because once people can move on with their lives, they generally do. I know once we put all this behind us I won't want to dwell on forums and keep reliving this horrors. Just means it's hard for those of us in it to hear anything positive x
Hi,
we had the ok from ss to do a phased return home and gradual move to unsupervised last February. He is here half the week most weeks now so we are actually taking things slower than what I had put in my plan to ss. Ours is slightly more complicated due to family dynamics but we are almost 5 years post sentencing for communication. We both did courses with LFF. He did the horizon course through probation and I did the breaking the cycle course with circles. In my opinion it's better to wait until after sentencing to allow him to build a relationship with probation and visor. They will then have a clearer idea of the risk posed rather than ss just doing their assessments which are usually more about the mother's ability to protect and can be quite gruelling. I'm happy to receive messages and try to support you as much as I can xxx
we had the ok from ss to do a phased return home and gradual move to unsupervised last February. He is here half the week most weeks now so we are actually taking things slower than what I had put in my plan to ss. Ours is slightly more complicated due to family dynamics but we are almost 5 years post sentencing for communication. We both did courses with LFF. He did the horizon course through probation and I did the breaking the cycle course with circles. In my opinion it's better to wait until after sentencing to allow him to build a relationship with probation and visor. They will then have a clearer idea of the risk posed rather than ss just doing their assessments which are usually more about the mother's ability to protect and can be quite gruelling. I'm happy to receive messages and try to support you as much as I can xxx
We got the knock in 2022. Sentenced Jan 23. Finished probation Jan 25, still has another 4 years shpo.
SS were hell. Put us on a PLO for a year. Finally got rid of them Jan 25 after they destroyed our marriage. We are now back together which his VISOR knows, but too scared to contact SS and ask for their approval for him to move home. Visor has no issue but will need to inform SS, we would rather it came from us.
SS were hell. Put us on a PLO for a year. Finally got rid of them Jan 25 after they destroyed our marriage. We are now back together which his VISOR knows, but too scared to contact SS and ask for their approval for him to move home. Visor has no issue but will need to inform SS, we would rather it came from us.
