Feeling of being held hostage
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Hi all,
First time posting since the knock in August 2025. My now ex partner of 6 years, 5.30am with 5 officers and my sleeping 3 year old. Fortunately, he didn't wake, but the trauma will haunt me forever.
My ex was arrested for 2 counts of attempted communication with a child (police decoy, 2 occasions, different '12 year olds'), I have been told very little from my ex other than the conversations are disgusting. He said there was no images. Only his device was taken.
He claims he didnt realise and that people on these chat rooms lie about their age all the time. No excuse. On the day of an arrest there was mention of a 'i would have to pick you up ' comment. But he hasn't shared much more than the basics (if that!).
He immediately moved to his mums and his conditions state he cannot live here or have unsupervised contact with any child under the age of 18. I have allowed him to see our son, in controlled environments with either myself or his mum supervising. Our son has generally be ok, a bit more emotional and a little bit more 'I miss daddy' but zero concerns from his preschool and they are fully aware of the situation.
He has only told 2 friends but the majority of his now world don't know. He told me last week that the police confirmed the case was now with CPS so now it is a wait for the charging decision. To add, he attempted suicide in October 25. He is seeing a therapist once a week I believe, but hasn't done any other self work.
I have asked him to agree to sell the house this week so I can start the process of moving us to a home in my name and we can be secure and financially stable and want this desperately for both my child and myself and he has flat out refused. He seems to still be holding out hope that he will get NFA and that he can see our son again and set up 'his own house'.
Has anyone had a similar situation? Can you share your outcomes? I feel like I am in this suspended moment of my life and just want to move forward. I have an appointment with a family solicitor on Thursday, but the fight is just so hard. I will never stop fighting for my child and have asked several times for the information to be shared of the chats to which he refuses. Has anyone managed to force the sale on a house?
First time posting since the knock in August 2025. My now ex partner of 6 years, 5.30am with 5 officers and my sleeping 3 year old. Fortunately, he didn't wake, but the trauma will haunt me forever.
My ex was arrested for 2 counts of attempted communication with a child (police decoy, 2 occasions, different '12 year olds'), I have been told very little from my ex other than the conversations are disgusting. He said there was no images. Only his device was taken.
He claims he didnt realise and that people on these chat rooms lie about their age all the time. No excuse. On the day of an arrest there was mention of a 'i would have to pick you up ' comment. But he hasn't shared much more than the basics (if that!).
He immediately moved to his mums and his conditions state he cannot live here or have unsupervised contact with any child under the age of 18. I have allowed him to see our son, in controlled environments with either myself or his mum supervising. Our son has generally be ok, a bit more emotional and a little bit more 'I miss daddy' but zero concerns from his preschool and they are fully aware of the situation.
He has only told 2 friends but the majority of his now world don't know. He told me last week that the police confirmed the case was now with CPS so now it is a wait for the charging decision. To add, he attempted suicide in October 25. He is seeing a therapist once a week I believe, but hasn't done any other self work.
I have asked him to agree to sell the house this week so I can start the process of moving us to a home in my name and we can be secure and financially stable and want this desperately for both my child and myself and he has flat out refused. He seems to still be holding out hope that he will get NFA and that he can see our son again and set up 'his own house'.
Has anyone had a similar situation? Can you share your outcomes? I feel like I am in this suspended moment of my life and just want to move forward. I have an appointment with a family solicitor on Thursday, but the fight is just so hard. I will never stop fighting for my child and have asked several times for the information to be shared of the chats to which he refuses. Has anyone managed to force the sale on a house?