What will the future look like?
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This is my first post but looking for support and advice for people who stay and what does the future look like? The knock was 30th April 2024 , sentencing was 24th April 2025. My OH is currently serving his community order. We have three children together, he's now living at home with us to try and see if we can start to be a family again. He is a good dad and I wish this wasn't the life we have. The newspaper reported on the case which seem to anger only a few neighbours however our next door neighbour put us through hell in the early days of the press article being released as she couldn't under why he was at home and i was a monster for having him back. As time has passed we have started to try and put our life back to a new normal. However last night we had the police knocking at our door as they have received an anonymous report of children screaming the police were lovely and spoke to us all and soon left. But how could somone make a horrendous lie for all of us, we are presuming its the next door neighbour as we are the end terrance house ,but also its brought back all the emotions from the original knock. I just wondering what will the future be like for us , as a family we are in a better place as we are having open and honest conversations about everything the children love having dad home. But now I feel like we won't be allowed to live in a form of peace. Thank you for reading , any support would be lovely.
Hi
it sounds really scary. I've not got any specific advice but there are a lot of wise people on here. Please may I ask about the community order- what type of offence was it if you don't mind me asking- not heard of that many community orders being given .
thanks
it sounds really scary. I've not got any specific advice but there are a lot of wise people on here. Please may I ask about the community order- what type of offence was it if you don't mind me asking- not heard of that many community orders being given .
thanks
My husband has been given a community order for 3 years- what does this even mean? It doesn't seem very strict?
My OH isn't past plea/sentencing yet, but I think we will move from here when there's no further risk of a new address ending up in the media. I don't think it will ever be the same for us a family here again, and I'd love a fresh start where I don't feel judged every time I walk out of my door. Our neighbours while not being hostile haven't exactly been all that friendly either (understandably to OH as they have no knowledge of the circumstances of the charges, but I haven't done anything wrong so don't appreciate being judged for trying to keep normality for hy kids).
Hi, I'm sorry to know you're going through this, there are some very mean people in the world. Whilst my situation differs from yours in that my person is my son, we do still occasionally find someone has gone out of their way to cause upset and hurt to my son but on the whole he/we are able to quietly get on with life.
It hurts at the time but knowing we've no control over it we try to let it go.
It hurts at the time but knowing we've no control over it we try to let it go.
Sorry you're going through this. We have managed to keep my husband's conviction fairly secret and luckily he'd no media but the nursery managers know and my child didn't get invited to the manager's son's birthday party and even that small slight that really stung, so I cant truly imagine how much you're going through
We live a very normal life but I do have mild paranoia of people finding out I suppose,and I'm worried about my child starting school and having to tell more people. But I'd have to do that whether or not my husband lived with us so at least this way we can be a happy family together.
We did move house to an area where no one knew us and this have me a much greater sense of safety. I don't know if it's an option if your neighbour continues to cause you stress through malicious allegations?
We live a very normal life but I do have mild paranoia of people finding out I suppose,and I'm worried about my child starting school and having to tell more people. But I'd have to do that whether or not my husband lived with us so at least this way we can be a happy family together.
We did move house to an area where no one knew us and this have me a much greater sense of safety. I don't know if it's an option if your neighbour continues to cause you stress through malicious allegations?
My neighbours graffitied the house before my husband went to jail. Then when he was in prison I was burgled. My property was found in their house but it couldn't be proved that they had done it. Other neighbours stopped talking to me.
I hated living there and knew deep down the crime would never go away. I ended the marriage before he went to jail and divorced him last year. I've been in my new flat 6 months today. I moved to a much nearer nicer town away from the very small community I was in before. I might be skint but I am so much happier. I am so glad I make the break and have managed to distance myself from him - especially as he has just been re arrested
I have a new life for which I will be forever grateful - sadly his mum is still in a world of pain about what has happened. He is so so selfish and doesn't think how his actions affect others.
I could go on about him, his crime etc but I don't think this is the place as it is just my thoughts
I hated living there and knew deep down the crime would never go away. I ended the marriage before he went to jail and divorced him last year. I've been in my new flat 6 months today. I moved to a much nearer nicer town away from the very small community I was in before. I might be skint but I am so much happier. I am so glad I make the break and have managed to distance myself from him - especially as he has just been re arrested
I have a new life for which I will be forever grateful - sadly his mum is still in a world of pain about what has happened. He is so so selfish and doesn't think how his actions affect others.
I could go on about him, his crime etc but I don't think this is the place as it is just my thoughts
Confused4eva
A community order means he will be monitored by probation for 3 years.
On its own it is not too strict, but the real restrictions come from being on the register and possibly having an SHPO (sexual harm prevention order) for 5 years.
These things mean he will be monitored by the police for 5 years and receive unnannounced home visits as well as having to report to a police station once a year.
Social services may add additional restrictions, if you have children.
A community order means he will be monitored by probation for 3 years.
On its own it is not too strict, but the real restrictions come from being on the register and possibly having an SHPO (sexual harm prevention order) for 5 years.
These things mean he will be monitored by the police for 5 years and receive unnannounced home visits as well as having to report to a police station once a year.
Social services may add additional restrictions, if you have children.
