Friday/Weekend check in
Notifications OFFSo i thought i would ask everyone what did they get up to last week or what is planned that gives you a little bit of peace. I have found that it this lack of peace that has eluded me. I crave to sit happy and content, with my world. After three and a half years i still have not found it.
I am not one for new year resolutions as they are not usually kept, but this year i did make one, and that was to gain peace in my life. Chnage the narrative of my current situation. I big ask, but it will be accomplished by small changes. My OH has never really spoken about his offending, when we talk it is nothing more that a question and answer session, with very little answers. So i gave up, and as such i am still in my own little limbo land. He spends his time playing games, while i work and read this forum. So i have got him to agree to talk. Which is my first small step. I have decided i cannot live like this anymore. I never made a conscious decision to stay or go because i did not like either choice so i didnt make one. Some say not to make a choice is a choice, but i am not sure on that one. So i have to summon the cpurage to make him sit down and talk.
Anyway, i am spending the weekend, walking my lovely dogs and Sunday meeting a friend, lunch & cinema. I hope everyone manages a lovely weekend. Xx
I remember the Friday check-ins too. Knowing we were sharing a small part of our lives with one another helped ease the loneliness that so often accompanies this journey. Those moments of connection mattered to me.
This week for me has been a mixture of many roles and responsibilities — work, providing supervised contact between my son and his children, supporting my daughter as she navigates a particularly stressful situation, and finding time to visit a family friend whose husband has recently passed away. Each day has carried its own emotional weight.
In the aftermath of my son’s arrest and the long, drawn-out journey to sentencing, I came to a realisation about my friendships. I was usually the one who made the social arrangements. It wasn’t that my friends didn’t want to catch up, but busy lives and introverted personalities often meant it didn’t occur to them to reach out. When the bottom fell out of my world, I too became introverted and isolated. I stopped making contact but as much as I wanted to hide away, there was also a quiet longing for someone to reach out to me.
What I learned during that time was the importance of connection — of reaching out to people who may be going through a difficult time, even when life feels full or overwhelming. My life is still busy, but I now make a conscious effort each week to contact someone I think might appreciate a moment of friendship or support. In doing so, I’ve found that offering connection has also helped me heal, reminding me that even small gestures can make a meaningful difference — for others, and for myself.
I have friends i can talk to I just dont want to burden them with my own chaos.
Im trying to stay possitive though even though all I want to do is cry because I feel stuck. He has been sentenced but I still feel stuck and then i ruminate over everything so ive been trying to focus on the possitve path forwards and what I can do to move everything forwards with social services so we can move back together. I get passionate and hyper focus on it all and then I plummet into depression and I just want to hide away and then I go back to no! Fight for what you want. Learn! Research! Go!
Curry weekend, so 20 curries tomorrow.. just marinated 5kg of chicken...
Everyone take care...