Bail conditions
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Hi wondering if anyone can help. Coming up to 3 months since son was arrested at 18. He's on pre charge bail with conditions that prevent him sleeping at home (younger siblings) and having unsupervised contact with under 18s so hasn't been to school or seen anyone since it happened and is staying with grandparents.
We tried to get the conditions dropped in court (solicitors advice) but no luck and tried again to get them changed to be less harsh when police applied to extend bail recently but they refused. Investigation likely to be 9-12 months they've said. Can cope with everything else but so hard not having him at home. Social services not interested as he's an adult and conditions in place etc. We don't believe he's a risk at home but any risks can be managed safely.
Has anyone got experience of their young person coming back to live at home pre/ post sentence? Looking for some hope as so sad that the family has been broken up and he isn't able to live here at a time when he needs our support the most. This is the hardest part of the journey so far although am sure more to come!
We tried to get the conditions dropped in court (solicitors advice) but no luck and tried again to get them changed to be less harsh when police applied to extend bail recently but they refused. Investigation likely to be 9-12 months they've said. Can cope with everything else but so hard not having him at home. Social services not interested as he's an adult and conditions in place etc. We don't believe he's a risk at home but any risks can be managed safely.
Has anyone got experience of their young person coming back to live at home pre/ post sentence? Looking for some hope as so sad that the family has been broken up and he isn't able to live here at a time when he needs our support the most. This is the hardest part of the journey so far although am sure more to come!
Hi the situation is the worst this also happened to me my son was also 18 when we got the knock and had to move out instantly it was horrible especially as we didnt have any family for him to stay with so he had to go stay in a hotel first night then booked a air bb for a few weeks why looked for a flat eventually got a little flat and been there since he has not been back to the family home since day of arrest as partner doesn't want any come back if it was to come out in the papers. It has been so hard like you said they need ys the most at this moment in time I have tried my best to support and be there as much as I can I just want it to be over now I can't wait for court to be over an hopefully not media then we can get a bit of normality bk. Sorry not got any advice on bail condition being dropped but I doubt your son will ever be aloud bk home untill your yonger ones are over 16 or 18 depending on bail condition age.
My inbox Is always hun if want a chat x
My inbox Is always hun if want a chat x
Thanks for responding. Sounds like a really tough situation for you too, and even harder with no family to stay with and your partner's position. Fingers crossed you get to the end of the process soon and can move on. We're early in the process so won't conclude for some time. I am going to keep pushing for a return home overnight as can be safely managed in same way being here during day is being managed. And sounds like lots of partners return home eventually with much younger children so assume there are ways it can be safely achieved with all agencies happy.
Hi, nearly 6 months in now. It sounds like we are in a very similar situation. Son staying with grandparents. Finding it very difficult, with him not being able to stay at home (younger siblings) not had any luck changing bail restrictions. I'm just hoping the investigation doesn't go on much longer. Here if you need a chat
Sorry to hear your going through it too. It just feels so cruel and unnecessary. Risks are low (if research is anything to go by) and can be managed overnight in same way as during the day with supervision. When they're so young themselves system feels stacked against them from the beginning. Surely for the most part it's much better not to break the family up and to make sure the right safety plan and support is in place? I wonder whether post conviction it's difficult to get them home. So hard for everyone. Hope you get some movement soon, we've been told 9-12 months for investigation alone.
Thank you, I'm hoping that post conviction it's not going to be this hard. I hate our family being split like this.
I am hearing that this sort of crime is becoming more common in teens. I think social media etc have a lot to answer for (pushing algorithms) allowing things like this to be so accessible. kids are curious. It all seems so unfair that they could have their lives ruined before it's even started just from a few clicks. Surely it's better to support and teach them of wrongdoing than to criminalise them. They are still learning.
My son was arrested before turning 18 but the length of time the investigation is going on for I have no doubt that he will loose his right to the youth justice service.
fingers crossed for all of our families that one day we can all get back to some sort of new normal x
I am hearing that this sort of crime is becoming more common in teens. I think social media etc have a lot to answer for (pushing algorithms) allowing things like this to be so accessible. kids are curious. It all seems so unfair that they could have their lives ruined before it's even started just from a few clicks. Surely it's better to support and teach them of wrongdoing than to criminalise them. They are still learning.
My son was arrested before turning 18 but the length of time the investigation is going on for I have no doubt that he will loose his right to the youth justice service.
fingers crossed for all of our families that one day we can all get back to some sort of new normal x
It seems so unfair and disproportionate and when they're at a stage when brain development is geared towards risk taking, and lots of other factors that can affect behaviour. Mine was arrested 2 weeks after turning 18 and even though the accusations mostly relate to being under 18, it's been the most brutal introduction to adulthood. Very painful as a parent to see and so damaging for our young people. As you say the algorithm is having an impact and more are finding themselves here. So sad. Fingers crossed we can get them home soon!