Should I go to court?
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Morning everyone. My ex partners court appearance is a way off, as, six months on, my he hasn't actually been charged yet. But at some point I will have to make the decision whether or not to go to the court case.
He has specifically said he doesn't want me to go. But could that be because there are things he doesn't want me to hear? Or because he is ashamed or...any number of reasons.
The police did say to me at the beginning that attending court for some people is a good way of getting closure, especially if they have chosen to end the relationship.
Originally I made up my mind not to go because I was worried about the effect it might have on me. I recall one of the women in the documentary Married to a Paedophile ' say something she had heard in court about her husband's activities, had 'haunted' her.
But as time goes by, I am not ruling out that I might go. I want to know the truth.
Have any of you experiences/thoughts to share on this question?
Paula
x
He has specifically said he doesn't want me to go. But could that be because there are things he doesn't want me to hear? Or because he is ashamed or...any number of reasons.
The police did say to me at the beginning that attending court for some people is a good way of getting closure, especially if they have chosen to end the relationship.
Originally I made up my mind not to go because I was worried about the effect it might have on me. I recall one of the women in the documentary Married to a Paedophile ' say something she had heard in court about her husband's activities, had 'haunted' her.
But as time goes by, I am not ruling out that I might go. I want to know the truth.
Have any of you experiences/thoughts to share on this question?
Paula
x
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Andrea - do you mind if I ask how you got to read a copy of your husband's statement? I have yet to decide whether or not I can face hearing the full details of my partner's charges in open court.
I went to my husband's (we are getting divorced) plea hearing at crown court this week because I needed to know what he had been charged with. It's been really tough since hearing but I don't regret it, plus I've got to give evidence in court so it's helped me see where I will be sitting and what the court looks like. It's a really individual choice I'm afraid but I'm glad I did.
I decided not to go to court for my ex as I didnt want to hear the specifics. I already knew the general details and then the court was delayed a week as the judge wanted extra details (which included me looking at images and saying if it was my daughter and if any objects belonged to her, me or my ex)
I know that the judge waa very damning in what he said and unbeknown to me my mam had asked her sister to go to the court and she was extremly upset by what she heard. The arresting officer phoned me afterwards with the verdict and in the last care and protection meeting with social services (it was arranged before he was sentenced) they gave me full details of what he had viewed.
Im glad I didnt go as I didnt want to see after having to look at still images of the children he watched being abused
I know that the judge waa very damning in what he said and unbeknown to me my mam had asked her sister to go to the court and she was extremly upset by what she heard. The arresting officer phoned me afterwards with the verdict and in the last care and protection meeting with social services (it was arranged before he was sentenced) they gave me full details of what he had viewed.
Im glad I didnt go as I didnt want to see after having to look at still images of the children he watched being abused
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Thanks everyone for your feedback. Much appreciated, and if anyone has yet to join in this thread, I’d be interested to hear your views too. I guess it is a matter of trusting my instinct and seeing how I feel nearer the time.
I’m not sure I could face actually seeing evidence of the images. Does anyone know if they are ever actually shown?
God, to think that six months ago I knew nothing about my (now ex ) partners dark and sordid secret life. If the Knock hadn’t come, I’d be looking round Clinton’s for a To My Husband Christmas card because we would have been married by now! I’m still in touch with him occasionally, much to my daughters disapproval, because I miss the part of him I loved, I guess. But maybe that will fizzle....
What I do want to say is a huge thank you to everyone who takes the time to post on this site. It’s so important to me to have a connection with you all. Because only you understand the surreal direction my life has taken.
It will be especially important over the Christmas period to keep in touch. (This will be my first in 15 years without him). So can we do that please?
lots of love
Paula xxx
I’m not sure I could face actually seeing evidence of the images. Does anyone know if they are ever actually shown?
God, to think that six months ago I knew nothing about my (now ex ) partners dark and sordid secret life. If the Knock hadn’t come, I’d be looking round Clinton’s for a To My Husband Christmas card because we would have been married by now! I’m still in touch with him occasionally, much to my daughters disapproval, because I miss the part of him I loved, I guess. But maybe that will fizzle....
What I do want to say is a huge thank you to everyone who takes the time to post on this site. It’s so important to me to have a connection with you all. Because only you understand the surreal direction my life has taken.
It will be especially important over the Christmas period to keep in touch. (This will be my first in 15 years without him). So can we do that please?
lots of love
Paula xxx
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Ive been thinking about this too. There are no court dates yet but i feel i want to go, i feel i should go especially as i have been supporting my husband. There should be no surprises left but it will be hard to listen to the details of his online conversation but i know roughly what it includes. Im hoping i have the strength to go but im wondering if id just be torturing myself. Then i was worried about the press, hopefully that wont happen but i could potentially end up with my pic in the local paper at court with him. Its a difficult decision, i want to go but im not sure its in my best interests to go.