just offloading I suppose
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I posted recently about my ex having NFA and social services advising me they didn't want any unsupervised access still, stating "police believe his online activity is a worry" nothing illegal on devices but was talking to a woman online for years sexually.
I just feel so let down, so stuck. I want to support his relationship with our 1 year old it's just so difficult. I feel really hurt by everything we've been through, his online double life and our baby missing out on the life I thought she would have. I'm starting to feel like I was living life through some rose coloured glasses. He won't talk about anything just shuts down and the second I say something he doesn't agree with goes no contact.
I suppose this is my punishment for not fighting for him. He's never even fought for himself, never questioned police, never approached ss just assumes its my responsibility.
A few days ago in a message he acknowledged our relationship is over then asked about sex, I replied with as little emotion as I could but shutting the idea down, he deleted his message and proceeded to not contact me, ignore my message and not even ask after our daughter. im so upset by how disrespectfully he is behaving and I feel like he's just going to let our daughter down.
I feel so sad for my baby having to live in such a broken home. She is the happiest, brightest baby. All I want is the best for her, yet all he seems to care about is his ego.
I know none of this is really relevant now and I've made my decision but this has been my only safe space for the last year
I just feel so let down, so stuck. I want to support his relationship with our 1 year old it's just so difficult. I feel really hurt by everything we've been through, his online double life and our baby missing out on the life I thought she would have. I'm starting to feel like I was living life through some rose coloured glasses. He won't talk about anything just shuts down and the second I say something he doesn't agree with goes no contact.
I suppose this is my punishment for not fighting for him. He's never even fought for himself, never questioned police, never approached ss just assumes its my responsibility.
A few days ago in a message he acknowledged our relationship is over then asked about sex, I replied with as little emotion as I could but shutting the idea down, he deleted his message and proceeded to not contact me, ignore my message and not even ask after our daughter. im so upset by how disrespectfully he is behaving and I feel like he's just going to let our daughter down.
I feel so sad for my baby having to live in such a broken home. She is the happiest, brightest baby. All I want is the best for her, yet all he seems to care about is his ego.
I know none of this is really relevant now and I've made my decision but this has been my only safe space for the last year
Hi,
let him go no contact. That's his choice not yours. Your daughter will be absolutely fine, she has you to love her and be in her corner consistently. Don't message him until he messages you asking about your daughter. He sounds incredibly immature and you already have one baby to care for xxx
let him go no contact. That's his choice not yours. Your daughter will be absolutely fine, she has you to love her and be in her corner consistently. Don't message him until he messages you asking about your daughter. He sounds incredibly immature and you already have one baby to care for xxx
I just wanted you to know you are enough for your daughter you dont need him. She will thrive without him because you are an amazing mum
Hope you're OK - I'm fairly new to all of this. Please could I ask about NFA, is that because of no findings on any devices?
Also I know how you feel regarding your daughter, in a very similar situation - I always dreamt of this perfect life, and had so much to look forward but that has all been stripped away from me.
Also I know how you feel regarding your daughter, in a very similar situation - I always dreamt of this perfect life, and had so much to look forward but that has all been stripped away from me.
Yes N.S M nothing found at all, he told me there was no way there would be. I found the news write up of the lady he had been talking too who had been found guilty of sending images to "like minded men" as they put it. He always admitted talking to this lady but that she had never sent anything obscene or spoke in that way.
I knew from day 1 regardless of if he was being honest that ss would call him a risk.
we are over a year on from the knock, 2 months since police closed the case with NFA. 2 months since I had to give up any hope and try to build a new normal. Honestly it's no easier. I still don't sleep, I still cry daily. I have to spend time with him supervising contact and it's so painful, watching what we could have had. I'm exhausted constantly dealing with life alone and I'm just so scared of him moving on (even though I told him to)
Anyone reading this thinking of giving up because it's easier than fighting the system. Dint make any rash decisions, the grass isn't always greener.
I knew from day 1 regardless of if he was being honest that ss would call him a risk.
we are over a year on from the knock, 2 months since police closed the case with NFA. 2 months since I had to give up any hope and try to build a new normal. Honestly it's no easier. I still don't sleep, I still cry daily. I have to spend time with him supervising contact and it's so painful, watching what we could have had. I'm exhausted constantly dealing with life alone and I'm just so scared of him moving on (even though I told him to)
Anyone reading this thinking of giving up because it's easier than fighting the system. Dint make any rash decisions, the grass isn't always greener.
Have you spoken to the helpline? They might be able to help you explore your decision and whether it's right one as you seem very torn and your partner is clearly not in a good place either at the moment and may have given up or not be thinking clearly. My person is my son so different challenges but there are many on here who've taken different paths, and there's no 'one size fits all'. If you haven't already may be worth a call to the foundation to see what support might available to work through how you're feeling at a very painful and difficult time.
Leaving aside the legal issues, he cheated and is now treating you very poorly and selfishly. He doesn't sound like a loss TBH.
