Reflection
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I'm an oldie on the forum - a retired poster but I dip in and out. I feel the forum has changed with a harder edge these days - and is such a shame.
it took me a long time to post on the forum, I was lonely and scared, no one around me that understood my pain. I started to join in on discussions and wow did my life change thanks to LFF. I realised I wasn't alone, this foul journey was faced by so many people, their sons, brothers, partners, husbands, boyfriends involved in this world leaving devastated families behind just like me! I made such priceless friends who continue to play such an important part in my life.
I got stronger, made decisions - now 5 years later I'm a different person. Oh yes my life holds scars but it holds sunshine again.
I guess I'm trying to say let's continue to gently help and reassure our newcomers...... let's keep up this precious space just for them. Which is what it's all about x
it took me a long time to post on the forum, I was lonely and scared, no one around me that understood my pain. I started to join in on discussions and wow did my life change thanks to LFF. I realised I wasn't alone, this foul journey was faced by so many people, their sons, brothers, partners, husbands, boyfriends involved in this world leaving devastated families behind just like me! I made such priceless friends who continue to play such an important part in my life.
I got stronger, made decisions - now 5 years later I'm a different person. Oh yes my life holds scars but it holds sunshine again.
I guess I'm trying to say let's continue to gently help and reassure our newcomers...... let's keep up this precious space just for them. Which is what it's all about x
Hi Smile, its great to see you posting on here again and I'm so pleased the sunshine has returned to your life. I will never forget the kindness, support and encouragement you showed to me as a newbie on the forum.
I didn’t join the forum until after my person had been sentenced. In the early days of my journey, I would read through posts, searching quietly for reassurance and a sense of understanding. But my anxiety was so overwhelming at the time that even reading other people’s stories became too much. I had to step away to protect myself.
When the sentencing finally came, I told myself I would feel some sense of relief, that reaching that milestone would somehow make everything easier. It didn’t. If anything, the finality of it, along with media exposure brought a new wave of emotion. That was when I decided to take the plunge and join the forum properly, for two very important reasons. First, I needed support. I realised I couldn’t carry everything on my own, and I hoped that connecting with others who truly understood would help me navigate the next stage. Second, throughout those two long years of what felt like absolute hell, I had made a promise to myself: if I ever made it to the other side, I would try to help others walking a similar path.
What I found when I joined was connection. In sharing stories and reading about others’ experiences, I found support, encouragement, and genuine understanding. Most importantly, I found hope. There was a powerful comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone.
That sense of community was important to me. It wasn’t just about advice; it was about being seen and heard in a space where judgement was absent and empathy was abundant.
Sadly, these days the forum doesn’t feel quite the same. The change hasn’t happened overnight, it’s been gradual, almost imperceptible. But something feels different now. The warmth, the steady reassurance, the sense of togetherness that once defined it seems less certain. And that’s such a shame because when you’re navigating something that carries so much stigma and isolation, having a consistent, compassionate community can make all the difference.
I didn’t join the forum until after my person had been sentenced. In the early days of my journey, I would read through posts, searching quietly for reassurance and a sense of understanding. But my anxiety was so overwhelming at the time that even reading other people’s stories became too much. I had to step away to protect myself.
When the sentencing finally came, I told myself I would feel some sense of relief, that reaching that milestone would somehow make everything easier. It didn’t. If anything, the finality of it, along with media exposure brought a new wave of emotion. That was when I decided to take the plunge and join the forum properly, for two very important reasons. First, I needed support. I realised I couldn’t carry everything on my own, and I hoped that connecting with others who truly understood would help me navigate the next stage. Second, throughout those two long years of what felt like absolute hell, I had made a promise to myself: if I ever made it to the other side, I would try to help others walking a similar path.
What I found when I joined was connection. In sharing stories and reading about others’ experiences, I found support, encouragement, and genuine understanding. Most importantly, I found hope. There was a powerful comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone.
That sense of community was important to me. It wasn’t just about advice; it was about being seen and heard in a space where judgement was absent and empathy was abundant.
Sadly, these days the forum doesn’t feel quite the same. The change hasn’t happened overnight, it’s been gradual, almost imperceptible. But something feels different now. The warmth, the steady reassurance, the sense of togetherness that once defined it seems less certain. And that’s such a shame because when you’re navigating something that carries so much stigma and isolation, having a consistent, compassionate community can make all the difference.
Hey you,
I m quite new here so cannot compare. What do you think has changed? I see on any online activity (and offline too) that over the last 10-15 years the communication style has changed quite a bit so maybe it s not unique to this forum. People often ask one question that concerns them and then never engage in communication again.
I read quite a bit through the older posts too and saw something that looked like a really nice thing: the weekend check-in.
Do you know why it was dropped?
I m quite new here so cannot compare. What do you think has changed? I see on any online activity (and offline too) that over the last 10-15 years the communication style has changed quite a bit so maybe it s not unique to this forum. People often ask one question that concerns them and then never engage in communication again.
I read quite a bit through the older posts too and saw something that looked like a really nice thing: the weekend check-in.
Do you know why it was dropped?
Hi Knightmare - I think perhaps that's an aspect of the change. To participate then step away if not covering your problem.
We seemed to gel together more in the past, going onto develop lasting relationships, not dipping in and out. I'm not saying that is wrong by the way x
We seemed to gel together more in the past, going onto develop lasting relationships, not dipping in and out. I'm not saying that is wrong by the way x