Hi Smile, its great to see you posting on here again and I'm so pleased the sunshine has returned to your life. I will never forget the kindness, support and encouragement you showed to me as a newbie on the forum.

I didn’t join the forum until after my person had been sentenced. In the early days of my journey, I would read through posts, searching quietly for reassurance and a sense of understanding. But my anxiety was so overwhelming at the time that even reading other people’s stories became too much. I had to step away to protect myself.

When the sentencing finally came, I told myself I would feel some sense of relief, that reaching that milestone would somehow make everything easier. It didn’t. If anything, the finality of it, along with media exposure brought a new wave of emotion. That was when I decided to take the plunge and join the forum properly, for two very important reasons. First, I needed support. I realised I couldn’t carry everything on my own, and I hoped that connecting with others who truly understood would help me navigate the next stage. Second, throughout those two long years of what felt like absolute hell, I had made a promise to myself: if I ever made it to the other side, I would try to help others walking a similar path.

What I found when I joined was connection. In sharing stories and reading about others’ experiences, I found support, encouragement, and genuine understanding. Most importantly, I found hope. There was a powerful comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone.

That sense of community was important to me. It wasn’t just about advice; it was about being seen and heard in a space where judgement was absent and empathy was abundant.

Sadly, these days the forum doesn’t feel quite the same. The change hasn’t happened overnight, it’s been gradual, almost imperceptible. But something feels different now. The warmth, the steady reassurance, the sense of togetherness that once defined it seems less certain. And that’s such a shame because when you’re navigating something that carries so much stigma and isolation, having a consistent, compassionate community can make all the difference.

Hey you,

I m quite new here so cannot compare. What do you think has changed? I see on any online activity (and offline too) that over the last 10-15 years the communication style has changed quite a bit so maybe it s not unique to this forum. People often ask one question that concerns them and then never engage in communication again.



I read quite a bit through the older posts too and saw something that looked like a really nice thing: the weekend check-in.



Do you know why it was dropped?

I'm really grateful for the support I've received over this past year it was a club I never wanted to join but I'm so glad I did register for access

and although we are now post sentence I'm gonna stick around for any other dads or mums that need a shoulder x

The first thing i need to say is that i dread to think where I would be without this forum. In my case the whole thing from arrest to sentencing was only three weeks, so it was pretty much over by the time i gained the courage to read the forum and even longer to post. I felt I was not much use to anyone as I knew nothing and found out loads from other people. But as my confidence grew so did my courage and I started to post trying to help others, and by doing so helped myself.



I made friends with some people, when the private messaging came in this helped formed friendships and was not so public. Where, slowly but surely gaining trust from other people and trusting them with my story. These friends i still hold dear. But, I think the private messaging does take away some of the sense of community that I think is now missing. When i joined all communication was in the posts, which encouraged a conversation, and this in turn encouraged people to look regularly on the forum. I used to put up a post book club and we would all discuss books we were reading, films we were watching and helping each other give ideas on how to de stress. I have on a couple of occasions, as have other, put up posts of the weekly check in. This was my guide in the beginning, i survived another week, i would get to thursday and be surprised another week had gone by. I would eagerly wait for Upset mum to put their post up, talking about the previous week, what they got upto. Just every day stuff, just stuff they did to get through each day. Then loads of posts would be put up with everyone joining in. But the posts got smaller and smaller. Once they stopped a few have tried to keep it going, i have put it up a few times but only a couple of people partake, and then you are putting yourself out there, and no one responds. Do they not respond because they are not interested, or they are private messaging and have no need for it. That is a question i dont have the answer.



This forum has been my lifeline, and I still regularly read the posts, I dont post as often as many queries about SS or second interviews or length of investigation I have no knowledge of. But it would be nice to get back to posts, where we just chat about our lives in general and use it as virual meet up with friends.

I'm 4 years post knock and the forum was a lifeline for a long time. I don't post much but feel a need to support others going through this shit show of a rollercoaster ride

I've come out of it a stronger person I think through the decisions I made even if it took a long time to make those decisions

I never thought I would come out of it alive - I went to some very dark places

But we do all get through it - a bit battle scarred - and we can only do it with the help of professionals friends and the complete strangers on here