Worrying too much? Baby due next week :(
Notifications OFF
I've mentioned before my husband was accused of a breach because he's work friend removed a message in their work WhatsApp group
he had his interview Mondays and they have stated there was 2 removed messages from
his work colleagues (he hasn't removed a chat and doesn't have to disclose anything so his solicitor says he's done nothing wrong as can control the actions of others and he's retained it)
also turns out I unsent a Facebook message to him in December (I didn't know I couldn't and I always unsend messages when talking to people if I make an error :/ (I've stopped now obviously)
I feel so awful hope I haven't gotten him in trouble as I would've have done it innocently, he didn't ask anyone to remove messages and there's no evidence of it so think that's why his solicitor feels positive
only other thing they've bought up is on his Google play account his gaming account name isn't his name it's a username he's chosen and he was only told he had to use his real name on social media but this isn't social media and he can't message people on it, it's just so he can log in his games on other devices (say he has to get a new
phone for whatever reason)
he didn't even know he had to notify of this and now he's so scared what the outcome will be
This is obviously all human error and not knowing right? Nothing is stated in his rules regarding games so I'd like to think it's dropped but so scared our baby is here next week and he can come home in July if no guilty breaches so this is the world to us ? :/
these are obvious misunderstandings surely they can see this
he had his interview Mondays and they have stated there was 2 removed messages from
his work colleagues (he hasn't removed a chat and doesn't have to disclose anything so his solicitor says he's done nothing wrong as can control the actions of others and he's retained it)
also turns out I unsent a Facebook message to him in December (I didn't know I couldn't and I always unsend messages when talking to people if I make an error :/ (I've stopped now obviously)
I feel so awful hope I haven't gotten him in trouble as I would've have done it innocently, he didn't ask anyone to remove messages and there's no evidence of it so think that's why his solicitor feels positive
only other thing they've bought up is on his Google play account his gaming account name isn't his name it's a username he's chosen and he was only told he had to use his real name on social media but this isn't social media and he can't message people on it, it's just so he can log in his games on other devices (say he has to get a new
phone for whatever reason)
he didn't even know he had to notify of this and now he's so scared what the outcome will be
This is obviously all human error and not knowing right? Nothing is stated in his rules regarding games so I'd like to think it's dropped but so scared our baby is here next week and he can come home in July if no guilty breaches so this is the world to us ? :/
these are obvious misunderstandings surely they can see this
I'm not sure what the police side of things will say, but as a social worker I have dealt with this type of breach (before anything ever happened in my own family) by looking at the context and the actual risk of harm to the child involved. In this case I would have still allowed him home as to me this does not increase his risks to his own child. however I might for example have suggested just ditching social media and gaming names for an easier life and less risk moving forwards whilst on the SOR
Also, best of luck with your baby's birth and growing your family together. We had another baby post sentencing and all has gone really well and we are 2 and a half years post sentencing now and been closed to SS for almost two years - hope that gives you some positive hope for the future
In his shoes I would ditch all non-essential social media etc (that includes gaming) going forward. I know Whatsapp is trickier because so many workplaces now use it for work purposes.
Congratulations on your baby! Whats your wider support network like?
Congratulations on your baby! Whats your wider support network like?
Hiya Thankyou that is reassuring, sometimes it's hard as I'm constantly wondering what the other professionals involved think of it all and it sure gets me worrying as I'd like to think all his positive reports and open communication means something, he's worked with everyone only the police seem to not get on with him even when he's trying to work with them :/
yes I totally agree with that about not using social media , he's removed messenger and his work has said he needs to have WhatsApp sadly, I asked him to basically go to a brick Nokia but he's stubborn at moment and just says should he really have to live such a boring life when he's a lorry driver and relies on gaming for entertainment but I'm trying to tell him it's really really not worth the risk and I'm hoping he comes around to at least stopping gaming going forward....I know he doesn't mean to make any mistakes . It's breaking my heart he's been accused of breaching because I unsent a message innocently, I'd never live with myself if he gets in trouble but surely not as it was me not him :/
i just hope this doesn't go to court as it really doesn't seem worth it in my eyes, he's even asked his officer to have a meeting with him to clear any misunderstandings and she refuses and just says she wants a lists of his usernames and she refuses to remove any of his gaming apps he has to keep them all, doesn't feel like he's getting the help he's asking for, therefore he's going to keep making mistakes there must be someone who can help him clear up his understanding of the wording of the order because a lot of it is vague, it's a big wordy order, there's going to be teething issues surely , can't get my head around it
hope they get back soon on the outcome, luckily my wider support network is good, I am beginning my to supervise myself which I take a positive and all being well he's home in the summer with my supervision but only if he's found innocent, he's seen as low physical risk, it's his online risk which is the biggest issue because they say it's high if he's found guilty of any breaches...(seems odd if accidental ones) but I've done all I can to lower the risk around the kids I couldn't do more if I tried
hopefully it resolves very soon
also come to my attention now having a baby on a Friday means I could get stuck at hospital all weekend because safeguarding won't let me leave as they don't work weekends, not thrilled as I'd Only want to stay in for genuine health reasons not because of something my husband did not me, so unfair :( everyone is happy with my husbands progress since our sons been born so figured leaving the hospital would be simpler for us this time around...why must we feel so punished as the innocent ones
yes I totally agree with that about not using social media , he's removed messenger and his work has said he needs to have WhatsApp sadly, I asked him to basically go to a brick Nokia but he's stubborn at moment and just says should he really have to live such a boring life when he's a lorry driver and relies on gaming for entertainment but I'm trying to tell him it's really really not worth the risk and I'm hoping he comes around to at least stopping gaming going forward....I know he doesn't mean to make any mistakes . It's breaking my heart he's been accused of breaching because I unsent a message innocently, I'd never live with myself if he gets in trouble but surely not as it was me not him :/
i just hope this doesn't go to court as it really doesn't seem worth it in my eyes, he's even asked his officer to have a meeting with him to clear any misunderstandings and she refuses and just says she wants a lists of his usernames and she refuses to remove any of his gaming apps he has to keep them all, doesn't feel like he's getting the help he's asking for, therefore he's going to keep making mistakes there must be someone who can help him clear up his understanding of the wording of the order because a lot of it is vague, it's a big wordy order, there's going to be teething issues surely , can't get my head around it
hope they get back soon on the outcome, luckily my wider support network is good, I am beginning my to supervise myself which I take a positive and all being well he's home in the summer with my supervision but only if he's found innocent, he's seen as low physical risk, it's his online risk which is the biggest issue because they say it's high if he's found guilty of any breaches...(seems odd if accidental ones) but I've done all I can to lower the risk around the kids I couldn't do more if I tried
hopefully it resolves very soon
also come to my attention now having a baby on a Friday means I could get stuck at hospital all weekend because safeguarding won't let me leave as they don't work weekends, not thrilled as I'd Only want to stay in for genuine health reasons not because of something my husband did not me, so unfair :( everyone is happy with my husbands progress since our sons been born so figured leaving the hospital would be simpler for us this time around...why must we feel so punished as the innocent ones