In a living nightmare
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Hi, new user here. I'm so grateful that this site exists as the last 5 weeks have been a living nightmare and no end in sight.
My ex partner and father of my child was arrested end of January for online sexual communication, following the activities of a hunter group.
They broadcast the sting and 'interview' on social media. I had no clue or warning. Everybody where I live has seen it. Police & council safeguarding team have been useless, I had to tell them about the existence of the video after it went viral. We are dealing with this totally without support.
I've been advised to change my daughters surname to remove association to her father before she starts high school this year. What should be a happy transition to high school will now be horrendous as all the high school kids have seen/shared the video.
My daughter knows why he was arrested. She is devastated. School are kind of supporting but out of their depth. I need help to explain to her that people do know - without it traumatising her so much she won't leave the house.
How do I equip her to build some armour around herself for when people inevitably make comments, jokes or ask questions. Or worse, someone shows her the video of her dad being arrested.
He has ruined her life. I hate him. I've been signed off work for stress and we are dealing with impacts hour by hour, one day at a time.
My ex partner and father of my child was arrested end of January for online sexual communication, following the activities of a hunter group.
They broadcast the sting and 'interview' on social media. I had no clue or warning. Everybody where I live has seen it. Police & council safeguarding team have been useless, I had to tell them about the existence of the video after it went viral. We are dealing with this totally without support.
I've been advised to change my daughters surname to remove association to her father before she starts high school this year. What should be a happy transition to high school will now be horrendous as all the high school kids have seen/shared the video.
My daughter knows why he was arrested. She is devastated. School are kind of supporting but out of their depth. I need help to explain to her that people do know - without it traumatising her so much she won't leave the house.
How do I equip her to build some armour around herself for when people inevitably make comments, jokes or ask questions. Or worse, someone shows her the video of her dad being arrested.
He has ruined her life. I hate him. I've been signed off work for stress and we are dealing with impacts hour by hour, one day at a time.
I'm so sorry, how awful for you all. I have no advise unfortunately as my situation is very different but wanted you to know I'd read and am sending virtual support. Have you rang the helpline at all?
So sorry you find yourself here in this horrendous situation. Different circumstances for me too but I've found this forum so helpful to understand it more. There are resources available under the first forum topic (LFF resources) specifically for helping young family members. It's very difficult and no easy answers but there is support available to help.
Hello MamaBear
I am so sorry that you find yourself here.
I am wondering if either of these charities may be able to help you at all:-
Family Lives
YoungMinds
Both of these have helplines that you can contact and if they are unable to help they will probably be able to signpost you to other services/charities.
Thinking of you x
I am so sorry that you find yourself here.
I am wondering if either of these charities may be able to help you at all:-
Family Lives
YoungMinds
Both of these have helplines that you can contact and if they are unable to help they will probably be able to signpost you to other services/charities.
Thinking of you x
Mama bear, I know first hand the trauma of what havoc these Vigilantes can reek. Again, diffent situation as was my Son (living with us). My heart goes out to you, hold your heads up high , you are victims too xx
I'm presuming she's Yr 6 and going into Yr 7 in September? I would contact her secondary school in advance and ask them how they can support her.
I know it may not help at her age, but I'd be very straight with her about the fact that anyone who picks on a child for something their parent did is trash (I'm pretty blunt like that ????).
Have you had any contact with her friends/ friends' parents since this kicked off?
I agree about the surname change - it just creates a bit of difference. I understand from friends' experiences that you can change the name at school even before you do the legal stuff.
I know it may not help at her age, but I'd be very straight with her about the fact that anyone who picks on a child for something their parent did is trash (I'm pretty blunt like that ????).
Have you had any contact with her friends/ friends' parents since this kicked off?
I agree about the surname change - it just creates a bit of difference. I understand from friends' experiences that you can change the name at school even before you do the legal stuff.
