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1 month since the knock
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So it's been a month since the knock and it's the first time I have posted. It's been awful! Our lives have literally been turned upside down as you all know.
The knock happened at 7.30 am and my first thought was why are there door salesmen at my door at this time, they introduced themselves and said ....Don't worry no one has died...in some weird way I wish someone had as I feel it would be easier to deal with, or at least we could be open about it.
When they said what it was for and that they had a search warrant my OH immediately owned up. His version of events was that with us struggling for money (isn't everyone) he heard some people talking about a website you can download illegal images and then sell on so he decided to do this. He downloaded it but then deleted them, he says he did not open the images and he did not sell them on. All his devices have been Sent to forensics
I don't know what to believe as seems a bit unbelievable but police and SW haven't given any indication that they disbelieve. Initially be was arrested, the out on bail. No restriction apart from AS assessment which we are going through to ensure safegaurding. I have been working with SW and safeguarding teams in my kids schools 15 and 11.
The kids haven't seen him since he was arrested which is over a month and WE say he is low risk so are agreeing to a community supervised visit. My eldest is looking forward to seeing him but my youngest is swinging from anger to sadness over the situation he has put us in.
Before this life was hard enough as OH has a lot of health mental and physical issues, my eldest is on adhd pathway and suffers from ibs, youngest has really bad anxiety issues since lockdown. This has basically just turned out world upside down. Emotions are all over the pkace, no one is sleeping and now today it's all got too much. Everyday trying to get the kids in school, trying to get my head in for my job as a complaints manager and all the time wondering what's happened, is what he has said true, hAve I missed something in the 20+ years we have been married. What am I supposed to do with this and no one has answers as it's such a long drawn out process. He has now managed to get a room in an hmo, we have split up as the trust has gone but I will let the kids are him if they want and as guided by SW. The lies are now getting to myself and the kids. My two best friends, my parents and my TL at work know and that's it. As far as everyone else knows we have just split up. So many well meaning questions are being asked and I feel ashamed, kids want to speak to their friends but can't due to content he downloaded as their lives would be a living hell if it got out.
I have ended up getting signed off work today as I just couldnt stop crying with it all as I have had to keep open communication with him over moving bills to my name, how kids are etc. We can be talking and it feels all normal then I just remember what he has done to our lives
How does everyone else deal with the lies and the kids emotions never mind their own? Really struggling today
The knock happened at 7.30 am and my first thought was why are there door salesmen at my door at this time, they introduced themselves and said ....Don't worry no one has died...in some weird way I wish someone had as I feel it would be easier to deal with, or at least we could be open about it.
When they said what it was for and that they had a search warrant my OH immediately owned up. His version of events was that with us struggling for money (isn't everyone) he heard some people talking about a website you can download illegal images and then sell on so he decided to do this. He downloaded it but then deleted them, he says he did not open the images and he did not sell them on. All his devices have been Sent to forensics
I don't know what to believe as seems a bit unbelievable but police and SW haven't given any indication that they disbelieve. Initially be was arrested, the out on bail. No restriction apart from AS assessment which we are going through to ensure safegaurding. I have been working with SW and safeguarding teams in my kids schools 15 and 11.
The kids haven't seen him since he was arrested which is over a month and WE say he is low risk so are agreeing to a community supervised visit. My eldest is looking forward to seeing him but my youngest is swinging from anger to sadness over the situation he has put us in.
Before this life was hard enough as OH has a lot of health mental and physical issues, my eldest is on adhd pathway and suffers from ibs, youngest has really bad anxiety issues since lockdown. This has basically just turned out world upside down. Emotions are all over the pkace, no one is sleeping and now today it's all got too much. Everyday trying to get the kids in school, trying to get my head in for my job as a complaints manager and all the time wondering what's happened, is what he has said true, hAve I missed something in the 20+ years we have been married. What am I supposed to do with this and no one has answers as it's such a long drawn out process. He has now managed to get a room in an hmo, we have split up as the trust has gone but I will let the kids are him if they want and as guided by SW. The lies are now getting to myself and the kids. My two best friends, my parents and my TL at work know and that's it. As far as everyone else knows we have just split up. So many well meaning questions are being asked and I feel ashamed, kids want to speak to their friends but can't due to content he downloaded as their lives would be a living hell if it got out.
I have ended up getting signed off work today as I just couldnt stop crying with it all as I have had to keep open communication with him over moving bills to my name, how kids are etc. We can be talking and it feels all normal then I just remember what he has done to our lives
How does everyone else deal with the lies and the kids emotions never mind their own? Really struggling today
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