It's a terrible shock and very difficult time. We've all been there in varying circumstances. Quite quickly I remember thinking to survive I just needed to focus on one day at a time and not think too far ahead. I shut myself away, did a lot of reading and research into why and just took time to process, cry, shout and try and come to terms with it. It's a grieving process and you'll go through all the stages. We're nearly 5 months in and it's still hard but definitely easier. I also accepted there was so much I couldn't control so just focused on the elements I could. We've not used the helpline yet, but others on here recommend and that might be a good idea for you both if you're struggling to see a way forward. I know we all felt similarly to begin with but after a couple of weeks that subsided for us. Be kind to yourself, the bottom falls out of your world for a while, and you don't have to have all the answers or make decisions straight away, but over time you find a way somehow. And the path is slightly different for everyone as we navigate our own circumstances in our own ways. We're always here for each other and there's lots of experiences to draw on. I find the stories of life having moved on positively very comforting.

It is a lot to take in. Im over a year post knock now. I shut down after the knock. I struggled with it so much. I was in the depth of PPD so I shut down emotionally and shut down about the entire thing.

What helped was my husband listening to me and let me controll how long we spoke about it. I chose to stay with my husband and ive supported him through it all.

The helpline really in helpful, Ive called them and ive also used the chat room because ive been at work when I needed them so couldnt talk (as i didnt want people to hear) but i could type as I was in a room by myself.