Finally made it to court
Notifications OFF
so yesterday we finally made it to court after two years should've been in court at 11 o'clock hearing didn't end up taking place until 3 o'clock and oh my God what an eye-opener it was
It was awful to have to hear the things that my OH had been messaging. All I can say is thank God it was a police decoy and not an actual child and her mother. I feel so numb hurt upset words cannot express how I truly feel the lies. He has told me over the conversation he allegedly had so different to the one he actually had. I just don't know what to say or how to feel.the sad part of it is he made it all about him and about what he's done to get help, et cetera but it worked. He got a three year suspended 150 hours community serviceI think I'm still in shock with what was read out from the messages and conversations he was having. I don't think I've stopped crying since I've left the courtroom.he came and found me afterwards and all he could say to me was sorry sorry for what sorry because he got caught sorry for lying to me.but he hasn't spoken to me since the court room. Normally he will text me in the evening but he couldn't even text me last night to see if I was okay. I don't know what to do. I just feel so lost happy betrayed.
It was awful to have to hear the things that my OH had been messaging. All I can say is thank God it was a police decoy and not an actual child and her mother. I feel so numb hurt upset words cannot express how I truly feel the lies. He has told me over the conversation he allegedly had so different to the one he actually had. I just don't know what to say or how to feel.the sad part of it is he made it all about him and about what he's done to get help, et cetera but it worked. He got a three year suspended 150 hours community serviceI think I'm still in shock with what was read out from the messages and conversations he was having. I don't think I've stopped crying since I've left the courtroom.he came and found me afterwards and all he could say to me was sorry sorry for what sorry because he got caught sorry for lying to me.but he hasn't spoken to me since the court room. Normally he will text me in the evening but he couldn't even text me last night to see if I was okay. I don't know what to do. I just feel so lost happy betrayed.
Ow ow ow. The betrayal. The gruesome details. So much for you to try and get your head around. So sorry :( .
So sorry. Its absolutely grim that he left you to face it like that in court rather than being completely honest with you in advance. Plenty of these men are absolute cowards.
Stan Cat
I am so sorry for what you had to find out via the court and not been told the truth from him
Of course you will be in turmoil but the most important thing is to take some much needed time for you , I hope you have someone to reach out to for support
Not much help I know but just could not read your post and not comment
Sending you huge hugs lovely xx
I am so sorry for what you had to find out via the court and not been told the truth from him
Of course you will be in turmoil but the most important thing is to take some much needed time for you , I hope you have someone to reach out to for support
Not much help I know but just could not read your post and not comment
Sending you huge hugs lovely xx
It took me a long time after finding out what my OH had said before I could sleep at night. I never did find out what was said to the decoy - only to two real girls (very brief conversation - more just a couple of sentences). The decoy conversation wasn't read out in court and the other conversations were told to me by his solicitor long before it got to court - I had full disclosure.
To find out in court must have been so hard for you and I send you all the strength and hugs I can. To know he has been lying about it must have made it even worse.
But.... You will get through this. You are stronger than you know. I'm not gonna lie - it's tough - but you will get there xx
To find out in court must have been so hard for you and I send you all the strength and hugs I can. To know he has been lying about it must have made it even worse.
But.... You will get through this. You are stronger than you know. I'm not gonna lie - it's tough - but you will get there xx
I feel this is what's going to happen to me, whenever I ask what was said in messages to this decoy he just can't remember so I only know what they read out on the live stream. I dread to think what else there is. I am in the middle of ending my relationship (I've got to that point) I've lost all feelings, and I feel it's best for myself and my daughter to leave.
To help I've book ourselves a holiday in August for something to look forward to. We are losing our family which was his, our home EVERYTHING and my feelings have just turned to anger. He still expects his tea on the table everynight and doesn't want to think about us leaving but to be honest when we are gone his Mum will look after him doing his tea, washing etc. For a 41 year old man it's disgraceful. God knows if there are any actual victims as he can't 'remember' anything.
To help I've book ourselves a holiday in August for something to look forward to. We are losing our family which was his, our home EVERYTHING and my feelings have just turned to anger. He still expects his tea on the table everynight and doesn't want to think about us leaving but to be honest when we are gone his Mum will look after him doing his tea, washing etc. For a 41 year old man it's disgraceful. God knows if there are any actual victims as he can't 'remember' anything.
Thank you all for your support. The reality of it is just starting to sync in now we haven't spoken to each other since we left the courts he's gone back to his mother's house. I just don't know how to be wrong from here and packed all his clothes up today in plastic bin bags which didn't make me feel a bit better. NSM I hope you do get the truth before you end up in court. It was absolutely horrific to be told what he said during the conversations like that in front of everybody. Xx
I m so sorry stancat, I can really feel you as the same happened to me. It s so unreal and all these official people around you keep doing their daily business - i remember the usher guided me out the visitor bench as i didn t even realize when it was over and time to leave...
NSM: if you get full disclosure, you could probably read the police report which might contain a lot of information already, depending on the nature of charge (for vigilante operations there seems no much difference in content from that report and the later charges). The pre-sentencing report also includes some information but not as much. But tbf, unless your person is somehow suffering with his memory it seems more like hiding things from you. Which seems cowardish - and considering what he already put you through, being honest is the least he should offer :/
Sending you all some strength
NSM: if you get full disclosure, you could probably read the police report which might contain a lot of information already, depending on the nature of charge (for vigilante operations there seems no much difference in content from that report and the later charges). The pre-sentencing report also includes some information but not as much. But tbf, unless your person is somehow suffering with his memory it seems more like hiding things from you. Which seems cowardish - and considering what he already put you through, being honest is the least he should offer :/
Sending you all some strength
