Terribly traumatising, I feel for you :(

Have you called the helpline? There is a course available for young people, and also, I think, a new set of modules geared towards this age group.

Give them a ring and have a chat. Best to call during the day when the wait times are shorter.

Sounds like you have been a responsible and caring parent, as most of us have, but in the end our kids make their choices. Don't in any way blame yourself. Just focus on getting through this, looking after yourself, and doing what needs to be done.

I really feel you, we're 5 months down the line with my (just) 18yo and the shock at first is completely debilitating. So many emotions, it's like grief, and I'd warned mine of the dangers too and had safety features in place but in the end he was on a platform I'd never heard so don't think anymore I could have done. There are some media articles that have helped me, you can probably find them on the forum from a quick search. Sadly for us his age means he's treated as an adult even though the alleged offending was as a minor and the repercussions are already so severe even on bail, and he's had to move out (younger siblings), leave school and hasn't seen any friends for 5 months. We've kept it to ourselves and close family only which is so difficult. We've been told 12-18 months in total which is long enough, 2-3 years sounds very long. As hard as it is I try not to think too far ahead and focus on the things I can control, which isn't much, and not to overthink the bits I can't. It does get easier once the shock passes, the sadness and worry are always there but dominate less. Take it easy. One day at a time.

Feel for you. It's a horrid situation to find yourself in and one you can't really prepare for as you had no idea it was coming.

Sounds an awful long time to be in custody were you his appropriate adult?. Did he have conditions to his bail as you may find they will come and check his new phone..

If you haven't already,do give the helpline a call. They helped me a lot in the early days trying to make sense as to what had happened and made me realise I wasn't alone.

Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. It's a long wait waiting for checks to be done.

It's a rollercoaster of emotions for sure but as time goes on it does get a bit easier to deal with. It's the uncertainty and not knowing that plays on your mind at 3am!.

Hi, I did read you message when you posted, I just wanted to say feel free to reach out if you have any questions, as we are at the end of our journey regarding waiting for the outcome of the knock etc now. Thinking of you x