Wants to meet up and talk?!
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My ex is living with family whilst I live with mine along with our 18 week old son.
This is the second offence since we've been together and the first knock happened around 2022 I believe. Second knock happened two weeks ago.
I chose to stay with him the first time it happened, however I'm staying as far away from him as I can now.
All I want to do is protect my son, that's all I want and I will do anything to do just that.
Since the knock, my ex has messaged me a few times to let us know he misses our son and I every second of the day.
Today he messages me telling me the same thing but that he would also like to meet up with me to talk about lots of things.
For context, he is under investigation and all our devices were taken but I've still got my phone thankfully. He is under investigation for having IIOC on a device of his, however of course they need to check all the others.
I'm just at a crossroads, i don't want to discuss things I shouldn't know as want to protect myself. But a little part of me wants to know what exactly he wants to talk about? It worries me as he specifically said he wants to talk about a lot of things, like what? It's causing a bit of a mental spiral...
This is the second offence since we've been together and the first knock happened around 2022 I believe. Second knock happened two weeks ago.
I chose to stay with him the first time it happened, however I'm staying as far away from him as I can now.
All I want to do is protect my son, that's all I want and I will do anything to do just that.
Since the knock, my ex has messaged me a few times to let us know he misses our son and I every second of the day.
Today he messages me telling me the same thing but that he would also like to meet up with me to talk about lots of things.
For context, he is under investigation and all our devices were taken but I've still got my phone thankfully. He is under investigation for having IIOC on a device of his, however of course they need to check all the others.
I'm just at a crossroads, i don't want to discuss things I shouldn't know as want to protect myself. But a little part of me wants to know what exactly he wants to talk about? It worries me as he specifically said he wants to talk about a lot of things, like what? It's causing a bit of a mental spiral...
I am so sorry you had gone through all that to have it happen a second time. That's just beyond words.
This is a tough one....I would ring the helpline for advice but remember "you do not have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm".
You need to protect yourself and your child first; from a safeguarding/risk standpoint and your mental health. If meeting up or having those conversations risks either; you might want to reconsider.
Hopefully someone else will have some better words of advice xxx
This is a tough one....I would ring the helpline for advice but remember "you do not have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm".
You need to protect yourself and your child first; from a safeguarding/risk standpoint and your mental health. If meeting up or having those conversations risks either; you might want to reconsider.
Hopefully someone else will have some better words of advice xxx
If you dont want to talk then just tell him via text you need space right now. You will inform him of a date when youre ready to talk to him. That way the ball is back in your court. Youve answered him but youve not set a date. He might not like it but youve not ignored what he wants completely but set your boundary.
If and when youre ready to talk do it without your kids there and maybe in a natural place so if it gets too much you can just escape.
If and when youre ready to talk do it without your kids there and maybe in a natural place so if it gets too much you can just escape.
Sounds like a really tough situation for you. You need to make any arrangements on your terms. Do you have anyone that could be with you when you see him? Has he manipulated you in the past? My partner always winds up making me feel bad and upset and its only when i reflect i realise he was manipulating me all over again - so I feel bad for him, and let me guard down again. Decide what it is you want now (don't worry about how you might feel next week or next month as that can be overwhelming) - you are in charge of this now :) Sending strength to you x
